Author's notes:
This is my
first Forever Knight fanfic ever, so all feedback appreciated. Even
if you're just writing to say it sucked, as long as you tell me why
it sucked and how not to suck the next time... okay, bad choice of
words, perhaps, considering the venue. ;)
This takes place
mid-second season, everything up to and including BMV is assumed to
have happened. Okay? Okay.
Archive: whoever wants it is welcome, my work is always free to a good home.
Oh, and don't be misled by the
title, this is not an adult fic. ;)
"Getting Physical" by
Eve
"Hi, Nat... sorry I'm late."
He's
been standing behind me--how long, I have no idea. His kiss upon my
cheek is customarily cool and feather-light. "No problem,"
I murmur, and deliberately avoid turning to face him... Nick tends to
distract me from my work. To put it mildly.
"Summer, you
know, days are getting longer..."
I peer into the
microscope. "Uh-huh."
"And I had to stop for
gas on the way..."
"Yeah." I triple-check my
results without actually looking at the numbers, then finally give up
and look over my shoulder.
It's apparent that something is
*up*. As a general rule Nick moves smoothly, effortlessly--one minute
he's in the door, the next minute he's only a few inches away from my
ear. Makes me jump, but I've come to regard it as par for the course.
But this... this is a noticeable deviation from the norm.
He
stands in the middle of the room, hands hidden behind his back,
rocking ever-so-slightly up and down on the balls of his feet. He's
got an odd, quirky little grin on his face, and his posture is so
rigid that I'm tempted to give him a shove and yell "Timber!"
He seems, not nervous, exactly, but... expectant. Poised, ready to
pounce.
It can't be the impending physical examination that's
making him edgy. We've been doing this once a month for--I was about
to say, *for what seems like an eternity*, but suffice it to say it's
been quite a while... and he's never shown the slightest qualms about
letting me examine him. I guess when you're eight hundred years old
and eternally youthful, modesty becomes less of an issue.
I
look him up and down; not a hair out of place, as usual. Even his
clothes look like he bought them on the way over: his jeans are so
new the denim is blue-black. A crisp white t-shirt, set in stark
relief against the soft line of his spotless black overcoat,
minimizes the pallor of his face. He's clean-shaven, his hair combed
back in soft amber waves and still slightly damp, as though he got
out of the shower about half an hour ago. All signs point to a rare
phenomenon I call
Morning Nick--fresh from a good day's rest and
ready to go out there on the streets and get shot, stabbed, blown up,
burned, smacked around, and generally roughed up. And that's just on
his nights off.
His left hand is still behind his back; the
other doesn't seem quite sure what to do with itself, first reaching
for my shoulder, then plucking at my lapel, before falling away to
pick imaginary
lint from the front of his coat. Curiouser and
curiouser. When I shoot him a quizzical look, he mirrors my
expression teasingly, one eyebrow raised. Just my luck. Morning Nick
wants to play.
Nonplussed, I peel off my latex gloves and drop
them into the trash. I rarely bother with them when examining
Nick--it's not likely he's going to catch anything from me. I move
towards the door, but he must have closed and locked it when he came
in. Damn those quick reflexes of his.
"Shall we?" I
gesture to the nearest table. I've technically got ten minutes left
on my lunch break, so we can afford a leisurely pace and a little
small talk. Although, rest assured, flying rumours would abound if
someone with a key--Grace, say--happened to mosey in and find the
inscrutable Detective Knight hanging around the morgue in a state of
undress in his off-hours. Although, thanks to his condition (I'm
assuming), he isn't usually affected by the cold air in any way that
might damage his reputation...
He grins. It's disarming,
although I can't shake the sensation that he knows exactly where my
thoughts were just now. "Of course. But first--" The hidden
hand emerges at last, and proffers what looks to be a moderately
expensive box of chocolates. "These are for you."
"I--"
the wisecrack I want to make suddenly sinks into the fathomless blue
of his eyes, lost forever. All I can do is stammer, "Uh, thanks,
uh, Nick... Yeah."
It would be an understatement to say
that Nick Knight often surprises me. I mean, let's be honest here: he
continually takes every myth I've ever managed to concoct,
consciously or otherwise, about human nature, and blows it clean out
of the water. But the single most
astounding thing about him is
the fact that, despite his age and incredible experience, he remains,
at heart, so very *innocent*.
"They're okay?" He's
still holding out the box. I'm still not taking it. We must look like
complete idiots. More grist for the rumour mill if anyone comes in.
No one does. I'm almost disappointed, funny enough.
Suddenly
conscious of my appearance, I tuck a particularly stubborn curl back
behind my ear and awkwardly adjust my lab coat. "Oh,
yeah--actually, they're my favourites... how did you know?"
This
is a man who has been responsible for great loss of life, in what he
likes to call his previous existence. How great, I don't like to
imagine. Because, frankly, that would take all the fun out of the
fact that he's giving me a present for absolutely no reason
whatsoever.
He affects a self-deprecating shrug. "Well, I
didn't, to be perfectly honest... I don't really know what's good and
what's not, so I asked Schank what Myra likes--"
"And
he knew?" Well, I wasn't willing to believe in the existence of
vampires at first either. I suppose this isn't that much more
improbable.
"No, he had to call Myra and check. Then, of
course, he had to go with me and get her a box." A momentary
respite, and then the proverbial other shoe drops: "And some
flowers, to apologize for waking her up at four in the
morning."
"Aha."
Nick nods, canting his
head boyishly. I simply cannot picture him as a murderer. No; Nick is
a human being with a grave (no pun intended), and as yet incurable,
illness. I refuse to pathologize his soul because of the crimes of
his body. His hunger. He's tried so hard, these past months... and so
have I. And I believe him when he tells me he's not the person he was
a hundred years ago. Hell, why shouldn't I? After all, I'm not the
person I was before I met him.
"Well, they're great,
Nick. But why--?" It's too late for Valentine's Day (probably a
good thing; at least now I'm sober enough to remember getting
them...) And Nick's not one of those people who celebrates cheesy
anniversaries no one else remembers. Well, that makes sense, I
mean,
he's already had about seven hundred or so birthdays, and, come to
think of it, he's been known to forget *my* birthday, also known as
the day we met. "You didn't have to," I conclude
tentatively.
"I know. I wanted to." A smile. "Sweets
for the sweet."
Coming from any other man on earth, a
line like that would be right up there with 'what's your sign?'. But
from Nick, it becomes a simple statement of obvious fact. He takes a
single step closer, nestles the box into the curve of my arm; I find
myself cradling it like I would an infant. He oh-so-gently brushes
back that pesky curl for me.
Yes, he's definitely one of the
nicest birthday presents I ever got... hopefully one of these days
I'll get to unwrap him. The thought makes me laugh out loud, and also
reminds me why he's here. He eyes me inquisitively, but I simply put
the chocolates aside, affect a brisk,
business-like demeanor, and
command him to strip.
He grins wickedly. "Aren't you
going to buy me dinner first?" I ignore him, which turns out to
be difficult as he persists, "Or is this your way of thanking
me?"
I cut my eyes at him, in what I hope is a seductive
manner. "That's for me to know, Detective Knight," I retort
huskily.
Nick's face registers mingled amusement and approval.
For a moment I feel fabulously like half of a very normal couple. He
removes his topcoat and drapes it over the back of a chair
nearby.
"Did you write like I told you to?"
A
non-committal grunt. I assume this means no.
"Nick--"
"I
lapsed three times. Once on Sunday night, and twice on Monday."
He grimaces. "Tuesday was hell."
I sigh. Loudly.
"Nick, I didn't ask you to keep a journal just to document
your... lapses." I pause to recover from my stumble over that
particular word. To me, a lapse is forgetting to turn off the
television before you leave the house. To him, a lapse is undoing
everything we've worked for by opening a bottle. "I wanted you
to write every time you had a craving. This isn't just for my
benefit--not only does it help me see which of the appetite
suppressants I give you are working, it's supposed to be therapeutic
for you to write about how you feel."
He unbuckles his
belt, removes it, and tosses it onto the chair. "I tried, Nat."
He pats his pockets and produces a page of crumpled notebook paper.
"This was as far as I got."
The page is torn on one
corner, having apparently been violently wrenched from its home by
the author, in mid-sentence. Two words are scrawled repeatedly across
it with increasing urgency: *I'm hungry. I'm HUNGRY. I'M HUNGRY!!!*
Well, he's no Lord Byron, but I have to give him partial marks for
effort. There is a rust-coloured thumbprint at the top of the page. I
don't like the image this conjures up, so I hand the paper
back.
"Add a funky beat, I think it'll do well in the
techno scene," I remark, deliberately keeping my tone light. It
hurts when I put so much of myself into this, and he can look me in
the eye without so much as a flicker of remorse and say he *lapsed*.
It hurts that he can be so cold. I tell myself it's just that he's
done this so many times before only to have it fail, he doesn't want
to get his hopes up, doesn't want to get *my* hopes up... I remember
his jubilation when we discovered what we thought was a cure, the way
he swept me up into his arms and we stood there in the sunlight,
sharing the laughter of true kindred spirits. But every now and
again, some stray thought stirs up all my latent insecurities, and I
wonder if he even cares about me at all.
One look in his eyes
convinces me that he does.
"I tried," he repeats, in
a velvet whisper I almost don't catch.
"I know."
I
breathe deeply, inhaling the brisk, spicy aroma of his aftershave,
and the deeper, more essential scent underneath that is just him.
That persistent, intoxicating smell, a combination of burnt cinnamon,
copper, and honey, always manages to make my heart race. From
a
professional standpoint, I'm fairly certain there's a
physiological basis for it; probably some pheromone unique to
vampires, something that speeds the beating of the mortal heart and
thus increases blood flow.
On an emotional level, however, I
want to associate the scent, the sensation I gain from it, with Nick.
Not his condition... just him.
I recall, dimly, the ride home
from Azure, coming out of a wine-induced haze with my head on Nick's
shoulder, his arm around me... and his scent, gently stirring me to
something resembling a normal level of consciousness, my heart
pounding rapidly. If he'd turned to look at me in that moment, I just
know I would have kissed him like he'd never been kissed in all his
centuries on this earth.
He didn't look at me then.
However,
he is looking at me now.
He places both hands on my shoulders,
and I can feel him gazing into me... through me...
Which is
when Grace comes in.
Nick lets his hands fall to his sides and
takes a brisk step back. The fog surrounding me lifts--for the most
part--but Grace's dumbfounded expression and her querulous, "Nick?"
don't quite click in for me immediately, until she adds, "I
thought it was your night off."
"It is." Nick
aims his most charming smile at Grace, who, for whatever reason, is
steadfastly immune to both detectives and blonds. He gestures to the
chair. "I forgot my coat here the other night. I just thought
I'd swing by and pick it up."
I can tell she thinks this
is a total crock, but her only reply is a very small, "Ohh."
"Did
you need something, Grace?" I ask, pointedly shifting the focus
of the conversation away from Nick.
Her eyes never leave his
face as she responds, "No, I was going out to grab something to
eat, did you want anything?"
My stomach kicks into
overdrive at the thought of a curried tuna salad sandwich from the
deli down the street, but I know Nick's physical won't leave me
enough time to eat it before I have to get back to work. "Thanks,
no."
"How come the door was locked?" The
inquiry is directed at me, but she's still looking in Nick's
direction.
He fields the question easily. "Oh, sorry, I
must have done that."
Another "Ohh," even
smaller than the first.
"You have a nice lunch, Grace."
There's a soothing cadence to his voice that makes me wonder.
She
nods, and leaves, locking the door again on her way out.
"Nick,
did you--?" I make a hokey Svengali-esque motion with my hands.
He shakes his head.
"Didn't need to. Maybe she's hoping
to collect on the office pool," he suggests rather cryptically,
unbuttoning his fly.
"What office pool?"
I watch him intently, trying to divine the answer in his eyes. No luck. His sudden, rich chuckle surprises us both. It was, no doubt, inspired by the expression on my face.
"You haven't heard about that
yet?"
"No, but I never bet on those things. I always
lose."
"Well, this time, you'd definitely have the
inside track." He slides the jeans off and steps out of them,
leaving a denim puddle on the floor.
I don't like where this
is going. "Why?"
He smiles self-indulgently. I poke
him in the chest.
"*Why*, Nick?"
I stare up
at him until he breaks. "Schanke was telling me about it.
Apparently there's a rumour going around that you and I are... you
know."
"That we're what?" I want to hear him
say it.
"That you and I are involved." He pauses,
and then continues, as seamlessly as though he's been saying it his
whole life: "That we're lovers." The next sentence is
muffled by a mouthful of cotton, since he's got his t-shirt up over
his head by this point. "And they're betting on how, and where,
we'll finally be caught in flagrante delicto."
I do
believe that was the sound of my jaw hitting the floor. "You're
kidding me."
He spreads his hands before him in a
gesture of innocence, which, compounded with the fact that he's
standing there in only his shorts, hair mussed from the impromptu
striptease, lends him an air of vulnerability most women would find
irresistable. Fortunately, there's just me here right now. "Schanke
only told me so he could try and convince me that if I had to succumb
to my animal urges, the backseat of your car would be the best place
for it. He says he'll split the
profits with me. Sixty/forty,
naturally."
For a moment, I'm torn between amusement and
outrage. Finally the former wins out. "Don't I get a say in
this?"
"Oh, I'm sure I can get him to cut you in for
ten," he deadpans.
"Funny man... okay, have a
seat."
He puts both hands behind him and levers himself
up onto the stainless steel examination table, perfectly at ease,
while I get my instruments together. Even though, as a general rule,
it's all the same to him, I've allowed him to retain his boxers.
Black silk. I've taken enough bullets out of various areas of him to
know he has plenty of ordinary cotton ones, which leads me to the
inevitable conclusion that he deliberately dresses up for these
examinations. I smile at that, and he catches me. "What?"
"Oh,
don't mind me, I think I'm a bit punchy tonight. Look straight
ahead." I shine my penlight into his eyes, one by one. The
pupils respond obediently to all the normal stimuli, the irises
remaining harmlessly blue. "Up... down... okay, look at me.
Could you--?" I still haven't found a workable euphemism, but he
understands what I'm asking.
His face becomes an
expressionless mask, and then his eyes begin to glow dully gold,
giving off a coppery sheen when I flash the penlight. The line of his
mouth also alters, almost imperceptibly, but I'm familiar enough with
that aspect of his physiognomy to know what I'll
find when I check
that out, so I take my time. Also, I'll admit itit creeps me
out a little to see those deadly canines up close. Kind of like
sticking one's head into the lion's mouth and trusting him not to
bite your head off.
A sharp intake of breath from my patient
reminds me that this isn't easy for him, either. His upper lip is
dotted with red beads of perspiration.
"Okay, no change
there. Say 'ah'."
Nick sticks his tongue out
mischieviously before complying, and for a moment, the blue
resurfaces from beneath the gold. Then he opens his mouth, and there,
protruding grotesquely from an otherwise ordinary set of teeth, are
the canines.
"Ah."
"No change there,"
I repeat. The sharpened points suddenly retract. He closes his mouth
and regards me with a hangdog expression, eyes clear. I swab the
blood-sweat from his lip with a section of gauze, then bag it for
later analysis. "Ever thought of having them removed?"
The
set of his jaw changes, hardens. "I've tried it."
"What
happened?"
"They grew back."
*Well,
obviously*, I almost retort, but don't.
"Every time,"
he adds, a bit more meditatively. He seems in awe of his own healing
abilities, even after all these years.
"How are you doing
on the garlic pills?"
"I had to stop taking them for
a couple of days... come on, don't give me that look. I spent all day
Friday in communion with the commode. By Monday I was itching all
over. And you can smell it on me, too." Nick makes a disgusted
face and offers his arm.
I lean in close, inhaling deeply. Copper... honey... cinnamon... no garlic. "I don't smell anything." My heart is hammering away like crazy, but ostensibly neither of us take any notice of it.
"Oh, trust me, it's there. Not as strong as it was, but still. No self-respecting member of the community will come within a mile of me until this is out of my system. Schanke keeps having mysterious cravings for garlic toast every time we drive together."
I snicker at that. I can't help it.
"I did okay with the liver
though--I managed to keep it down when I ate it raw."
"I
figured you would. Sit up straight." I move behind him and tear
the wrapper off a sterilized needle. "I want to try you on a new
protein drink--"
"Naaaaaat..."
"Niiiiiick..."
He
treats me to a wide range of disgusted faces, but doesn't press the
issue further.
I stick him in the back of the neck with the
needle; he doesn't even flinch. "Feel anything unusual?" I
question.
"No."
In addition to advanced
healing, part of Nick's condition seems to be a deadening of the pain
centers of the brain. He feels it, sure, but not right away, and not
nearly as much as an ordinary person would. However, I've learned
through experience that if he can see the needle going in, he tends
to experience a twinge of entirely psychological pain. This one
vestige of humanity is definitely reassuring, but doesn't exactly
help my results. I jab him again with the needle, lower
this time,
and a little harder. "Now?"
"Uh-uh."
I
remove the needle, and make a motion as if I'm inserting it into his
left shoulder, but the tip never touches his skin. "How about
now?"
"Um... still
nothing."
"Okay..." I press the needle into the
blade of his shoulder until I hit bone. "Anything?"
"Nope--wait,
my shoulder itches. The left one. Feels like a bug bite."
I
remove the needle. "That's a good sign." There isn't a drop
of blood from the point of entry. *Not* a good sign. But, as always,
I take it in stride; I run the tip of my finger over the places I've
been prodding him, checking to see if they've healed yet.
"I
can definitely feel *that*," he remarks.
I've never been
a very demonstrative person, and have always shied away from overt
displays of affection. At least, until I met Nick. Those little
touches of his--a hand at the small of my back or an arm around my
shoulders, a touch to the cheek or even a kiss... I've come to
expect them as a matter of course now. All right, it's more than
that. I've come to enjoy them. And even now, I'm letting my free hand
remain perched at the juncture of his shoulder and neck for a moment
longer than the doctor-patient relationship allows for. It's hard not
to notice how smooth his bare skin is. Or how cold. He reaches up,
covers my fingers with his own.
"Warm hands, the first
sign of a good physician," he remarks.
Wonder if a warm
face is the sign of a good pathologist? He takes my hand, turns it
over, and applies a leisurely kiss to the palm. As much as I want to
protest, to draw back, I could really get used to this. That
delicious semblance of normalcy is back with a vengeance now.
Whether
unconsciously or by design, he's managed to drape my arm
over him, drawing me closer. I perch my chin on his shoulder for a
moment, giving him the reciprocal contact he seems to crave from me,
before reclaiming my hand and getting things back on track.
"Okay,
Nick, almost finished; all that's really left now are the usual
suspects." I walk back around the table, tossing the needle in
the trash, and motion for him to scoot over. "I'm just going to
sit beside you for a second, if you don't mind."
"Knee
bothering you again?"
"No more than usual."
Translation: hell, yes.
Nick places one hand on my knee with a
look of sympathetic wistfulness--as much as he dislikes seeing me in
pain, he's envious of my human ability to experience it. Even through
the fabric of my slacks, his hand is like ice, which soothes the
burning to a dull, manageable ache.
"When are you going
to get a haircut?" I inquire, reaching up and ruffling the halo
of tumbled golden curls.
"Is that Dr. Lambert in her
professional capacity asking? Or my Natalie trying to drop a hint?"
The corners of his lips turn upward in a teasing smile.
"I
need a new hair sample," I tell him, trying to ignore the faint
buzzing beneath my skin that began with his pronouncement of the
words *my Natalie*. "The last one..." Hmm, how shall I put
this delicately--decomposed? "...ran out. And I'm assuming you
don't want to go walking around the precinct with a big bald patch
back there. If you're in the mood for a manicure, I could use some
more nail trimmings too." His look softens me in spite of my
resolve to get this done, and I add, "Trust me, if I wanted you
to change anything, you'd know about it."
"Of
course, I forgot--you're about as subtle as a crate of booster
seats."
"A crate of...? Okay, you lost me."
"Oh,
right, I didn't tell you about that, did I?" He continues to
talk as I go through the usual motions--testing his reflexes, his
blood pressure, his heartbeat (such as it is) and so forth. "It
was on Wednesday. I called you after my shift, but the machine picked
up."
"Yeah, I was knee-deep in here Wednesday
morning. Tour bus accident. I didn't make it home until almost
noon."
He nods soberly. "Schank and I got this call
about the Werner case... the suspect said he'd turn himself in if we
met him at this warehouse, it actually wasn't too far from my place.
It turned out he wasn't interested in going with us, and in point of
fact just wanted to take as many cops out as he could before eating
the last bullet. We got him, but before I could get up to where he
was he tried to drop a crate on Schanke. I had to push him out of the
way. It was a close call, tooI almost didn't reach him in time.
When the crate smashed, all these booster seats spilled out...
Anyhow, that's his new saying--any time I do anything, it's suddenly
comparable to a crate of booster seats. I just felt like spreading
the joy."
I smile. "Schanke's a character."
"You're
telling me." Nick rolls his eyes and assumes an expression of
pious suffering as I remove the blood pressure cuff from his
arm.
"Well, we're all done here, soooooo, I'll thank you
to hop down and get dressed before Grace comes back in here and has a
lot more to say than 'Oh'."
"Right." He slides
off the table, turns away from me, and bends over to pick up his
clothes, a move I can't be sure isn't deliberate. "So what's the
prognosis, Doctor?"
"Looks great--I mean, you're in
excellent condition," I correct hurriedly, "apart from the
usual, um... side effects of, uh... acute hematophagia, and,
uh...."
Then, of course, he whirls around just a touch
faster than normal human speed, and I'm caught in the middle of a
purely aesthetic appreciation of my patient's anatomy. He grins,
pulling on his jeans.
All right, so I was checking him out.
And he knows I was checking him out. And I know that he knows
that--you get the idea. I give up and go on the offensive. "Nice
view, by the way."
He blinks, impossibly ingenuous. Yeah,
right, Nick--and I also believe you're thirty-four years old and were
born in Vancouver. Once he sees I'm not buying it, he takes the
compliment in the spirit in which it was given. "Thanks. Glad to
oblige."
"I'll get your protein shake--don't run out
on me, now." The man has no fear of bullets, but if you try to
nourrish him, he leaves skid marks.
"I won't." He's
busily engaged in tucking his t-shirt into his jeans.
I go
into the fridge, emerging with the thermos I prepared before coming
to work--and he's still there. Will wonders never cease? "Here
we go. Orange flavour."
"Lucky me."
"Yes.
And now, if you don't mind, I'm sure there are guests in the foyer,
anxiously awaiting an audience with the princess of the formaldehyde
kingdom..."
Nick's sweeping gaze encompasses the empty
tables before focusing on me once more. "Slow tonight?"
"Yes,
which makes a welcome change."
Now a calculated glance
towards the door. "And Grace just got back..."
"I'll
have to take your word for that. And they say hearing gets worse with
age."
He effects the ever-so-charming smile which usually
means he wants something from me. "I was hoping I could take you
to lunch."
"Oh, well, the thing is... I already had
my lunch break. Just now. And I'm not that hungry." My stomach
rumbles in adamant protest. Traitor.
Nick shoots me a dubious
look, then leans in and applies a kiss to my temple. "I'll talk
to Grace."
He's got one hand on the doorknob by the time
I interject. "Nick--"
"Yeah?"
"Talk
to her, don't... *talk* to her. Okay?"
His smile widens
into a grin, and he nods. "Okay." He disappears into the
hall.
Was that a glimmer of gold in his eyes, just before
he--? "I mean it!" I call after him.
"Okay!"
he calls back.
In a moment of unparalleled optimism, I grab my
coat and struggle into it. I can hear a low murmur of voices just
outside the door, Nick's mostly, and then he returns, a cheerful
spring in his step. "Piece of cake," he announces. I brush
past him and pop my head out the door.
"Grace...?"
She
smiles and waves away any objections before I can form them. "Go
on, girl, let the man buy you a sandwich. You look like you could use
it." She sure doesn't seem hypnotized... well, all right then. I
turn back to Nick, who is looking inordinately pleased with
himself.
"I am going with you on one condition--you have
to eat something."
Well, that took the wind out of his
sails all right. He recovers quickly, however, replying, "I'll
eat something, if we take your car."
This is something
new; normally an outing with Nick isn't complete without a tour of
the block in the convertible, top down of course. "We don't need
a car, the deli's just around the--" I stop, mid-step, and glare
at him as I make the connection. "If I spot Schanke out there
with a camera, you're a dead man." Forestalling the inevitable
retort, I add, "You won't even know what happened... I'm gonna
hit you like a crate of booster seats."
His laughter
still echoes resoundingly through the empty morgue as I close the
door behind us.