aaarrrrghh!! (not yeeaargh!!!)
webmd must be the worst site i've ever been to. the first time i tried to use it, it was confusing and clunky and i don't think i ever found what i was looking for. now, i'm trying to view a page about broken toe symptoms because i STILL haven't gone to the med clinic, and i'm very curious. it has finally loaded, after several minutes of being stuck in a javascript quagmire. and everytime i would click away, it would load more of the page, so i would click back. and it would start all over and never load. geez!! people hate waiting. especially people with cable modems and maimed digits.

who am i?mrs. g?
guess who's 256 mb flash drive got washed with the darks this afternoon? after 3 close calls, it finally happened. now it's undergoing a complex dehydration process over the air vent.

of course, my flash drive's poor fate pales in comparison to the condition of my little toe on my left foot. i've stubbed it many times in the same way, in the same place, yet it has never hurt so bad for so long and turned the entire top left of my foot such an eerie shade of cyanosis blue. tomorrow, the med clinic to see a University of Pakistan alumnus. for now, ibuprofen and the constant ache in my teeth from the orthodontist appointment yesterday are keeping the pain tolerable.

oh, and my dad thinks the random luching and shuddering of my car that has been happening recently might be the engine cutting out. he hasn't done anything about it. but each time i see that little engine-shaped carbuncle glowing on the dash and feel my car shaking like a mad cow, i'll be reminded that i've no clue what to do if the engine does cut out. oh, time for more ibuprofen now.

yeeeaaarrhh!!
i really don't care who wins the iowa caucus or the new hampshire caucus or the bathtub caucus even. i am interested in who came in third in iowa, though. if howard dean hadn't fallen from his high horse, he wouldn't have lost his mind and given us this precious sound bite. gosh, i'm going to have so much fun with this.

the better to stab you with, my dear
i don't deal with stress very well. it gets manifested mostly through mysterious physical problems, like random sickness, unless i blow up on somebody. that helps sometimes. but usually when i'm under stress, i tear off my finger nails unconsciously. there is, however, a nail that i try to avoid ripping. my right thumb nail is like a utility knife. i can cut tape, scrape things, stab my sister, etc. i have managed to keep my left thumb nail and enough nail on my index fingers to make them useful. but it's my right thumb nail, aka "utility nail," that is starting to become more pointed. like a talon. i don't mean to file it that way. it just happens. so it's starting to cut things i don't really want it cutting. like cheese. haha. yeah.

we should have named him stitch
biscuit loves to chew. luckily he doesn't chew on important things like wires and shoes. but things like cardboard boxes and chew toys and trash are his favorites. but he doesn't just chew. oh no. he systematically destroys things. the dog toys made of el cheapo rubber no longer squeak and now pepper his poop with florescent green and hot pink. it's frightening how he works over a cardboard box. he doesn't just shred it; he gnaws patiently to weaken the supports before ripping it apart, pushing with his paw for leverage. and when he chews on something he can't destroy, like a tough rubber chew, he whines and cries. he must have a chemical imbalance. maybe some doggie paxil would help.

dried lizards and justified anger
my sister got a bamboo curtain for christmas which she hung over her window. this afternoon, she noticed something bumpy on one of the bamboo sticks. closer inspection revealed the bumpiness to be a tiny dried lizard clutching the bamboo. its eyes had decomposed, i assume, because his sockets were empty. and it wouldn't have bothered me or my sister so much if the lizard didn't look so...different. its strangly shaped head made it look like a little dragon. like a tiny, dried, demon lizard. eesh.

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oh, and biscuit came back from the vet today. and he was mad at us. and rightfully so. the vet said that neither he nor daisy would notice anything different. and while she had no clue the she was fixed, biscuit could tell something was missing, and he knew we were responsible. so he's been peeing on the carpet to spite us. i can see the spite by the way he'll squat right in front of us and wag his tail when he scream and gnash our teeth. it's dreadfully annoying, but i don't fault him for it. i just hope he doesn't hold a grudge.

biscuit vs. the vacuum cleaner
daisy went to the vet today to be fixed, but biscuit didn't really know she had left. he's been looking for her in the house. well, as soon as he caught a glimpse of his evil nemisis The Vacuum Cleaner, he knew what had happened. The vacuum had eaten daisy. now he's clawing and scraping at the linoleum floor in front of the closet where the vacuum is. my dad even showed him the vacuum and demonstrated that it was harmless, but he still wouldn't let up. he whines and screams and barks, trying to talk to daisy, i suppose. when my dad changed the overdue bag was probably the most traumatic. he pulled a daisy-sized bag out of the belly of the vacuum. now he's lying prone on the floor, staring at the closet. maybe a little snip-snip will take care of his neurosis.

new yorkie
in case you didn't know, pit bulls are going to be renamed "new yorkies." the man initiating this believes that new yorkers and pit bulls both are misunderstood. yeah, they're generous people and loving, sociable dogs. of course, they're temperamental and unpredictable, too. j/k. i've never actually met a person from new york city, i don't think. and i'm sure everyone reading this (is anyone reading this?) is thinking me a closed-minded bigot, but hey, they make fun of us, too. it all balances out. i'm sure a lot of the mauling and killing done by pit bulls is caused by the way the owners raise them. i don't know about those new yorkers though... :c)

obsolete? kiss my toner
the edict was issued: anything we print out for the yearbook has to be lasar, not inkjet. well, i didn't want to go to hell, because that's certainly where i'd go if i used inkjet, so my mom and i pulled out the old $1500 b&w lasar printer that hadn't been used in muchos a?os. The sticker on the back was dated "May 1990." a month older than my sister and just as annoying. we had a devil of a time getting it to work, but we did. then when we went back to actually print what i needed, we found ourselves back at square one. we tweaked every setting you can imagine, and nothing worked. so we gave up. this afternoon, i knew i had to get it working because my page was due very soon. i plugged the printer in, and it worked perfectly. only out of certain applications, and only with unrendered text, but it worked! twenty sheets of paper and 600 dpi later, i got it to print images. my mom said it was only a 300 dpi printer, but it took 600 to get rid of the alias edges. and if i was really a perfectionist, i would crank it up to 900. hmmm...

all a flaky biscuit needs is a dollop of daisy
we have a puppy named daisy. she has a brother. we seriously thought about getting him and her, but we decided one dog was enough. well, my dad got to see the brother every day as he delivered his route. her brother was kept outside and teathered to a tree. now he's in our house because his mom had already had another litter of puppies and the guy was read to give him away. so we took him so he would have a home until the family that was meant to be his owners came along. we bathed him and shaved him, and the vet gave him his shots and cleaned out his ears. he's a big, chunky puppy, but he's laid back and really like a stuffed animal. with drool. daisy has been more of an agitator than he has been, but when he has enough and starts playing/gnawing on the side of her head, he's a little too rough. he's sweet, though. daisy and he slept on my bed last night, which was his first night in a house. he woke me up by smacking his lips one time, one of the few times i actually slept. luckily, none of them farted, which would have been especially dangerous because i was trapped underneath them and couldn't run away.