How much time & effort do you need to read them all ? Don't care just read:
*- The teacher had shown her students the pictures of two cows. One white and the other black.
After a moment she asked them:
"What do these cows give us?"
*- A student in the back answered:
"The white cow gives us milk, but the black one gives us c o f f e e!"
*-The mother : "Why are you standing in front of that mirror with your eyes shut?"
*-Her child : "I just want to see what I look like when I'm asleep!"
*-Waiter : "How did you find your steak, Sir?"
*-Customer : "I looked under a small slice of onion and there it was"
*-A lady on a bus was afraid lest she should miss her stop, so she poked the driver with her umbrella and asked :
*-The Lady : "Is this the first National Bank?"
*-The Driver : "No, Madam!... That's my rib. "
*-A man was buzy fishing along a quiet stream when a stranger came by and inquired:
*- "catch anything yet? "
*- "No! ", was the answer.
*- "That's strange. I heard this was a fine place for trout ".
*- "It must be " , was the answer, "They refuse to leave it ".
*-Passenger : "Say,Captain, I don't feel well. How far are we from the land?"
*-Captain : "About three miles"
*-Passenger : " Which way? "
*-Captain : "Straight down! "
*-First Boy : "What's the difference between a champion athlete and a doctor taking someone's pulse ? "
*-Second Boy : "I don't know; what is it ? "
*-First Boy : " One beats the records and the other records the beats ! "