From Jay Leno:

"License plate segment": Britney Spears was given her own custom license plate "2 AIR BAGS".

Also in the news Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake are rumored to be getting married. So sorry guys, he's taken!
It will be the first marriage in history where the bride and groom both lip sync their wedding vows.

From Conan O'Brian:

Britney was recently injured on the set of her new video. Yeah, apparently a camera fell on her head. (audience cheering) Hey that's not nice. She was knocked out, and when she came to in the hospital she said "hey, where did these breasts come from?".

Did you hear Britney Spears was hit on the head by a camera while filming her latest video. The doctors said her injuries could've been more severe, but luckily Britney fell foward... Her breasts absorbed the impact. Actually she bounced back up 15 times. Boing, boing, boing... boing.

Did you hear Britney Spears in the news recently. It turns out that she has someone tie her shoelaces for her. Yeah, it's not that she can't tie them, but she just can't see them. She looks down (where's my feet?). She has big boobies.

Britney Spears and her friends were out boating awhile back. One of her friend's fell in the water. And they didn't have any life preservers with them. Luckily they just tossed Britney's breasts in the water and...

Britney Spears came out with a new album this week. It sold more than all the other top 10 selling albums of the week combined. Yeah, I think Britney's getting cocky though, she told reporters that she could produce another number one album with one implant tied behind her back.

In an interview this week, Britney Spears told a magazine that she doesn't wear skimpy clothing to look sexy, but to prevent her from sweating. Yeah, Britney was quoted as saying "I really don't like dressing sexy. It's just that I can't stand sweat dripping down my sweet, young thighs."


From Craig Kilborn:

Britney Spears was injured during the making of her new video. And the doctors who closely examined Britney were really, really... turned on.

Britney Spears said she wants to be a legend just like Madonna. Look out Detroit Pistons, here comes Britney.

The MTV Video Music Award nominees were announced today. Leading the pack was Eminem and nsync with 6. Britney Spears also got a nod for best duo in a sweater.


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Any good Britney jokes that I've missed or overlooked, please send them to me britneyiscute@www.com