CHAPTER 37
Dear Taylor~
~You left a piece of paper next to me before you left for the music store… and I read it. I know I shouldn't have, but I did. It was your poem. I decided to write you this letter and tell you now so that you know, along with the guilt I'm feeling, there I go again screwing up a sentimental letter. You may not realize this, because I hide it well, but, I care about you. But there are a lot of things holding me back. First of all…the hardest thing is this.. My boyfriend Justin… actually he was more like my best friend and companion from childhood. I have known..rather..I knew him forever it seemed, there wasn't a day I didn't see him. Well, one night we went out to a "senior" party,we felt so cool that we'd been invited, I mean us invited to that kinda party! Anyways afterwards my parents picked me up but his friends took him home. They dropped him off on the side of the road across from his house, because he lives off of a highway. Well, that night, he was crossing the highway, I mean I always told him it was dangerous but he never listened, well... as he was almost to the other side a car came. The car of drunk teenagers came and ...and... hit him dead on and he was instantly killed. It wasn't until later that night when I woke up from sleeping to go to the bathroom that I found out, we got a call and my parents told me that Justin had been in an accident and had… he… died. I thought it was a dream at first, so I went back to bed hoping to wake up from it, I never did. It all had happened. I refused to believe it, I mean..Justin.. of all people..dead.. no no NO, I couldn't believe it. It was a really tough time on me because I blamed it on myself. If I would have taken him home or done something maybe he would still be here. I still also have feelings for him because I loved him a lot, besides Lia, he was my best friend and I'm so afraid. I'm afraid that if I get involved again something bad will happen. I'm afraid you'll die because of me, and I ..I.. don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you.
~In this letter, I'm not asking for sympathy, I just want to tell you why I've held back so much, because I don't want you mad at me Taylor, I couldn't bear that.
~Kris
~As Kris finished her letter to Taylor, her eyes were filled with tears. She was shocked she actually wrote what she did, but it kind of was a relief to get it out, finally, wasn't it?
~It was getting late, after dinner, and Taylor was out in the garage working on some music with Zac, Isaac and Lia watching them. Krissa looked down at the letter she'd finally completed, and walked up to Tay's room ready to put it under his pillow, but regret swept over her. Her imagination got away with her and all of the sudden she saw Taylor laughing at her, calling her naive, because only someone stupid would think she caused the accident. In her ears all she heard was the constant ringing of laughter, Taylor's laughter. A tear swept down her cheek, she crumpled up the letter and threw it in the wastebasket in his room and ran up to her bed where she fell asleep crying.
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