Name: Jake the oversensitive owl
Nickname: Dfunkman
Personal ad line: Intelligent, sensitive, talented, well endowed, horny. What more could you want?
Age: Too old and getting older all the time...
Height: Not near high enough!
Sexual Orientation: Come on girls, do I really act like I'm gay? Is that why I don't get any?
Religion: Judeo-Humanist Existentialism
Location: That unpleasant spot in the back of your mind that you wish would cease to exist.
Fun fact: I'm just like the president except no one's ever given me a blow job.
Hobbies: Music, singing, song writing, girls, playing bass, acting, eating sushi, girls, dispensing emotional advice to my friends who think I'm qualified to do so, Smashing Pumpkins, jazz, reading fun sci-fi, girls, HTML, Monty Python, computer games, and FOR GOODNESS SAKE GIRLS! I AM SO NOT GAY!!!
Collections: US postage stamps (They're not lame!), female friends who used to be crushes.
Turn-ons: Unpierced belly-buttons, musically inclined chicks (don't bother talking dirty to me. Talk music!), flirting, pretty voices, stereotypical beauty is ok I guess, exotic beauty is more fun...
Favorite Quotes: "If I must be lonely, I think I'd rather be alone"-Stabbing Westward
"[Jake], you are so horny..."-Julie
"I need a chick"-Me
"Bros before hoes!"-Adam
"It's pals before gals! Adam, you are such a schmuck!"-Emily
"I can be myself, how ‘bout you?"-Fastball
"Who me?!"-Me
 

Hey! You there!  Check out a recording of my cool song! It's in real audio format. You might wanna go to the real networks web site to pick up their spiffy streaming audio player.
BTW, the song's at my old band's web site but you can get the song from here. The song is calledBrink.Please don't try to steal it or use it without my permission because I will press charges. One last thing, I know it sucks to have to download the whole .5 meg song in one shot. I'm working on getting it to stream from the site so expect that soon.

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