You know you're a Topperite when...
You know you're a Topperite when:
1) you start hitting people w/ balloons
2) you form secret societies for no purpose and invent elaborate secret handshakes which get so complicated that no one remembers them
3) you take the phrase "you're weird" as a compliment
4) people scream "freak" out their car windows as they drive past you & your friends because you all have either green or purple hair that day - and you don't see anything wrong with this
5) all but 2 people at a neighboring school fear for their lives when your name is mentioned
6) your first thought at seeing a police car is "ooh, look at the pretty lights"
7) you fight over the seat in the sun beam ("Hello Mr.Sunbeam, how are you today...Mr.Sun, sun, Mr.Shiny Sun, shine down on me")
8) one of your best friends is from Romulus.
9) you start acting like vultures at random intervals.
10) you take as a compliment if your demented chemistry teacher or random parents call you a vulture
11) you start meowing.
12) you flap your arms and run down streets at 11pm...often.
13) you come out as a heterosexual
14) if you can't think of any jokes about heterosexuals, you make them up.
15) you notice no difference between your friends' normal clothes and their halloween costumes
16) you respond to rumours about you and your friends being bisexual by promoting the image...what's the harm in screaming your sexual fantasies about your best friends across the crowded auditorium lobby?
17) you're female but you tell people you're a drag queen.
18) you're male and you look better in your friend's homecoming dress than she does
19) you wanna be a super model...and everyone...will wanna dress like you.
20) you start having dreams about psychic fish.
21) you start talking to the psychic fish when you're awake.
22) you're a vegetarian...but you make exceptions for human blood.
23) you become obsessed w/ buffalo and/or snakes.
24) you have Spiderwebs in your head.
25) you're sitting in a car, start laughing hysterically, can't figure out why and can't stop
26) you make a list of inside jokes so you can remember them.
27) to relieve stress you run around pretending to be spies while humming the Mission Impossible theme song.
28) you do this dressed as James Bond or a Bond girl.
29) you can recite the "plots" of porno movies you haven't seen.
30) you go to Putt Putt to play mini golf in prom dresses.
31) you go into near fatal withdrawal when the machine is out of Zebra Cakes, Ho Ho's, Mountain Dew or Wild Cherry Pepsi.
32) you can use the word "zarf" in a sentence.
33) you have a contest going to see who can have the most documented mental illnesses by senior year.
34) you're winning.
35) to get through crowded hallways you grab on to your friend's backpack and make a chain.
36) in an empty hallway.
37) and make train sounds.
38) you create a religion to worship yourself.
39) and you're an atheist.
40) you're typing the above about someone else and wonder if Dan(na) thinks (s)he doesn't exist.
(corollary: Descartes walks into a bar, has a few drinks. The bartender, hoping to make a quick sale, asks him if he wants another drink. Descartes says, "I think not," and promptly disappears.)
41) you think you're the figment of the imagination of a middle-aged out-of-work t.v. actor living in Wisconsin.
42) this number holds deep Spiritual meaning for you.
43) you've accompanied someone to Dupont Circle becuase they needed to get their banjo fixed
44) you congratulate people on coming out, when you know they're straight, because they're wearing a rainbow w/o realizing it's significance.
45) you come out as straight... and then discover you're not.
46) this time it was insulting!
47) you name your locker cluster after the local news weather man.
48) you throw dead, stemless carnations at each other during lunch... and only stop hitting each other because Dr. Ryan is coming.
49) you abandoned subtlety long ago.
50) you woder if that's a pop-tart behind you.
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