I did not and could not expect my little randevous with Zac. Why did he have to do it? Don't get me wrong I mean, it was a very good kiss, it's just that it was Zac. Never in my wildest dreams could I have predicted something like this could've happened. Where do I go from here? I hadn't talked to Zac since it happened, and quite frankly I don't know what I would say to him. But I had to talk to him. Taking from past experiences I've learned that avoiding your problems - although it seems like the easy way out, only makes them worse. I'm going to confront Zac, ask why he did it and take it from there. It's going to be awkward for the both of us, but I'll, no we'll, deal with it. I got dressed and headed downstairs. Although my goal was to find Zac, I was hoping he wasn't there. As I rounded the corner which led to the kitchen I smiled, nope he wasn't there. Taylor, Jessica and Melanie sat at the kitchen table eating cereal, none of them conversing. I tapped Taylor on the head "Have you seen Zac?" "Good morning to you to" "Have you seen him?" "Why do you want that ass?" Taylor said, jokingly "Watch your language" called Jessica from the opposite side of the table. "Sorry mom" Taylor said to his younger sister "Ouch" I laughed as I assumed Jessica's foot had made contact with Taylor's shin from under the table. "I need to tell him something" "He's out back" Melanie answered me, before Taylor could. I could tell she was growing impatient even though it had nothing to do with her. That's just the way she is. I didn't say thank you because to Melanie, it didn't matter if I did or didn't. Instead, I just walked to the glass doors and glanced outside. Avery and Melissa were planting flowers with Molly. I used to love doing things with Molly. I always looked up to her. She enjoyed being an older sister. She's always found time to read me a story before bed or braid my hair just the way I liked it. She was a good big sister, a really good one. ||||| "Mad, can I come in?" I looked up at my 18 year old sister. I was sitting in my room just a few months before we left for Hawaii. "It's your room too" Molly joined me on my bed "Madison I got accepted into NYU" "Molly!" I threw my magazine aside and pulled my sister into a hug "Molly, that's great!" Molly had always had a passion for New York and on her college aplication put down NYU "I'm leaving though, Mad" I wasn't sure if she was crying or not, but I had started to. I hadn't thought about that. Life without Molly? I would be much sader than life with her. "Madison don't cry" "I'm just crying cause I'm happy" I lied. I didn't want to rain on her parade. "Gee thanks, I didn't think you'd be that happy to see me go" she laughed through her sobs "You not what I mean" "Yeah I do" Molly seperated from my grasp and wiped her eyes "I leave in September Mad, that gives us six months still" ||||| I felt a hand wipe a tear from my cheek and I snaped out of my thoughts. I looked into Taylor's soft, caring eyes and cried more. "Mad, why're you crying?" I buried my head in his shoulder. "It's nothing" I mumbled. "It dosen't seem like nothing, Madison do you want to talk about it?" I shook my head "no" and took a deep breath. Sometimes I cry as a way of letting my feelings out. I'm not violent so when I have this strong feeling inside of me I cry, instead of hit. And as soon as it comes it goes away. "What's wrong" I saw Zac come towards Taylor and I. True, I had stoped crying but my eyes were red and puffy and Taylor's hand on my back certanly could confirm and suspicions that I had been crying. I saw Taylor shrug his shoulders. He didn't want me to see him do it, but I did. "Madison?" Zac took a seat next to me on the couch "What's a matter?" "Nothing" I didn't look at him. "I'm gonna take her upstairs" Taylor said, but Zac stoped him. "Let me. I'm going up there anyways" I knew Taylor wanted to press on but Zac didn't give him the chance. He stood up, taking my hand and pulled me off the couch. As we walked up the stairs he acted as if I was dying, helping me up each step. I was fine and quite embarassed that I was being treated the way I was. "Zac I'm fine I could've made up on my own, you didn't have to come up" I said, as we reached my room. "No, it's okay, We need to talk anyways" Yup we do, I'm glad he brought it up. "Yeah, I guess we do" "Come on, let's go in my room" I followed Zac over to his room and went in. He closed the door, but didn't lock it. That made me feel a little better. "Why were you crying?" he asked as he walked towards me. "It was nothing" I could tell he didn't believe me "Honestly." I felt bad. The truth was, I wanted to tell Taylor. I always found it easier to talk to Taylor than anyone else. He always offered his opinion but listened to, and accepted mine as well. I'd tell him later. Right now I had to talk to Zac. "About yesterday .." I started but Zac cut me short. "No, wait. I prepared a little speech and if I wait too long I'm gonna forget it" Leave it up to Zac to make things a little lighter. "I'm sorry for what I did yesterday. I didn't know why I did it, I just did. It felt right and I always follow my feelings. I'm sorry if you didn't like it or it made you feel uncomfortable. But Madison, if it made anything worse than just forget it ever happened, okay. If it made anything better, let's work from that" Oh God, what do I say to that? home || next