Chris Marsh

"Can't Read This"

with apologies to M.C. Hammer

October 4 and 19, 1991

I can't read this

I can't read this

I can't read this

I I I I can't read this

Reading hits me so hard

Makes my head feel full of lard

Thank you professor for cursing me

with a comprehensive final and a borderline D

I feel so bad AP has got me down

If I fail this class its back to my hometown

I came for my Bachelor's - degree

but this is a final- I can't read


I told you professor

I can't read this

Yeah, you've got to know

can't read this

Look in my eyes, doc

I can't read this

Hey, give me a hand

can't read this


Freshman kids wishing they were dead

Praying to God for another chance

They are stuck- in their seats

In the fry pan they feel like meat

Wondering where- they went wrong

All feeling like ding dongs

Like that like that

Their heads feel full of fat

They all know the doc is too mean

and this is a final- they can't read


Hey, I told you

They can't read this

Why don't you do something?

We can't read this

Yo sound the bell Time for next lecture period

No one can read this


Give us a break, please sir

All of us feel less than dirt

Hey now, we know

That down is the only way to go

Your secretary- can't type

Help us through this hype

We can't read- these words

Why are we here? It's absurd

We all feel- like twits

Why work hard? We might as well quit


This is absurd, 'cuz you know

We can't read this

We can't read this

Break us down

(background)

Stop- wasting our time


We can't go with the flow- we're dead

We've studied all night- let's go back to bed

We wave our hands- in the air

but hey prof, what do you care?

Believe in yourself, you'll be a winner

but you're eating us for dinner

Why do we tolerate- this junk?

one more minute and I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll flunk yeah


We can't read this

Look man

We can't read this

The secretary can't type, you know

How you can read this?

Ring the bell, time for next lecture period

Break us down (background)

Stop- wasting our time


We can't read this

We can't read this

We can't read this

Break us down (background)

Stop- wasting our time


Every time you see me, you'll know what its like

I don't even think you can read your type

Now why would I ever- stop trying to pass this?

If I give up, I'll fail and Mom'll be pissed

She'll kick my butt around the world, from Tokyo to the Bay

She said "Go to college son, go son, you're not there to play"


I can't read this

I can't read this

Can anybody read this?


(background in finale) Yeah- Nobody can read this

I told you, I can't read this

She can't type- can't read this

We outta here- if we can't read this

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