I was born in Washington, DC in 1970. Neither of my parents claim/claimed to be Christians, but they let me make my own religious decisions. Dad later said he was a "philosophical Jew", Mom said she would favor the Hindu religion. As my mom said later, she sent me to Sunday school at an Assembly of God church near Waldorf, MD to get me out of her hair.
If I had any religious encouragement at all, it came from outside the family. My aunt and uncle, who are Jehovah's Witnesses, sent plenty of reading for Mom and I. I also had a Catholic neighbor in Waldorf. By age 12 I was reading the Bible daily and I attended a Baptist church in Waldorf. But I interpreted the Bible as a rule book and missed the entire message about salvation.
By the time I went to college at Shepherd College, I had read the Bible three times over, and I sought a Christian fellowship group immediately. My orientation guide suggested her Christian fellowship group, the Christian Student Union, and I was close to three members within hours.
In my second year of college, my fellow Christians were even more involved in my life. A few were trying to teach me salvation: one, a woman, even tried to help me trust her and others around me. She did help me make one close friend on my own, but by the end of the year, her boyfriend had threatened my safety if she did not end her involvement. I did not know this for years, and immediately I suffered catastrophic depression and temporarily lost my excellent academic ability. Later she and I resumed being friends. She is now married and has a baby girl, born in October, 1999.
In the meantime, I thought Christians said one thing and did another. I made friends among the liberal non-Christians on campus. Don't get me wrong: they are excellent people, they teach me a lot, and I love them, and even some of their social-political ideas. I believed if anybody was going to help the world, it would be us, not the Christian fellowship, whose anthem was "Students loving a hurting world". I thought to myself, "We do more than just love the world, we change it too." Sure enough, some of my friends were active in protesting the Persian Gulf War. Others lobbied for women's rights, gay rights, human equality, protection of animals and nature, the legalization of marijuana, etc.
And moreover, they did NOT endorse my hatred against Christians. The most vocal of my new friends is a wonderful woman who now works for the college with her Master's degree. She tried to talk me out of my hatred. I tried, but I couldn't let go. What she did help me do was to temporarily give up on a friendship that seemed beyond saving, make new friends, and concentrate on more important things, like graduating, which I did on schedule.
I graduated from college one angry liberal non-Christian. One Christian I had known for years invited me to Bible studies hosted by the owner of several local Dominos Pizza franchises. I tried to take my opinions (evolution, gay rights, the Christian hypocrites I thought I saw) on the Christians. But I saw something completely new. These Christians did more than stay silent. They seemed to love me in spite of myself. Within six months I understood that God was empowering them, and more effectively than they could empower themselves or I could empower myself. I admitted defeat to God.
Six months later, in May, 1993, I was saved, and immediately sought baptism, which I arranged two months later. Two more months later, in August 1993, I joined the Baptist Student Union at Marshall University. The Berlin wall of hate had absolutely collapsed in my heart, thanks to Jesus. (I really did imagine the liberals as NATO and the Christians as the Warsaw Pact, so the historical collapse of Communism in Europe mirrored the collapse of Christian hatred in my life.)
Since my conversion I have renounced alcohol consumption. There were other changes. I have strong compassion for non-Christians. I can agree with my liberal friends' social and political ideas by separating church and state while I try to tell them about Jesus and grace for sin.
Copyright 1998, 1999 Christopher Marsh. Last updated, September 18, 2000.