Tattoo
By Nadene
a voice on the phone is so distant
you're so far away
so i live here wishing i could die
the stars see us both
i wish i was a star, so i could see you too
it seems all i love is taken from me eventually
i can feel you drifting away
as i lie in my bed
i imagine i feel you here next to me
i could spend the rest of my life
just watching you breathe
i hate when you leave
i feel the hate well up in me
but even it cannot
kill the love i have for you
i've begun to wonder if you're coming back to me
i push the thought out of my mind
before i fall apart
pieces of me that have died since you left litter the floor
but i sweep them up
glue myself back together
i'm just one big rotting corpse
i want to cry, die, or maybe just lie
next to you
when you're here, i'm everything
without you, i am nothing
life is nothing, and i'm not sure i want to live it
i just want to curl up
on the asphalt wasteland outside my window
and melt into the air
i want to be the wind
so i can caress your face
and lift your hair from your neck
i think of all the things i could have done
i should have done
but didn't
all i need from you is your presence
you're with someone else
i want to become a part of you
everything is going away from me
i wasn't always this way
i poison myself with nicotine and THC
i want to go to sleep and never wake up
unless you awaken me
i have no more money
the pay phone won't let me call you
i'm doing too many drugs
but still my feet are firmly on the ground
i wish for my angel wings, so i could fly to you
but i broke my halo years ago
with a razor blade and a necklace
i'd give you anything you want
my hands are open, and my body is waiting
i want to scream
but if i did, it would be so anguished and desperate
they'd lock me up forever
i'm screaming inside
please don't go!
why can't you take me with you?
i can't forget you
i would never want to try
my life would be so empty
i fake happiness every day
no one has a fucking clue
sometimes, i wish they could find me
deep in this shell, i exist
tonight, the tears won't come
i'm slipping
i want to kill her, chase her down
i would be brutal, torturous
i'm sorry; she deserves it
i will tear her heart out on my way down
mine already feels it
then, i will kiss you with my bloodstained lips
my bloody darling
five months have passed since i met you
two since i've seen you
something has to bring you back
the snow has come and melted away
anger and sadness merge in me
tomorrow, the sky could fall
but it probably won't
i wish it would, such apathy
but only empathy for you
you need to save me
i'm drowning in tears, blood, rain and cream soda
nicotine hands
mismatched socks
i lose my mind every night
i play at sanity every day
i have no explanation, excuse or apology
i want to turn back time to when you were here and stop it
then, you could never leave me
i'll tell you whatever you want to hear
be whoever you want me to be
as long as you want me
indecision entwined
i can't stop loving you
i've tried to unfuck up my love, my life
nothing works
i cry by the artificial light
eyeliner tears, streaked face
i should bottle them im milk jugs
and give them to you to drink
i hope i'm not pushing you away
time passes so slowly
come back
bring me back to life
i'm making you into the rope
with which i hang myself
because you are not here
i don't think you will ever be here
i want to be the rain
i will cry all over you
stick your hair to your face
soak through your clothes
then, be absorbed into your skin
i will flow through your bloodstream
and form into a tattoo
of me
on your ankle
then, i will be a part of you forever
Back
back
Email: gothiclove16@yahoo.com
