Be Careful What You Wish For

Standing slightly off the dim path, I waited as the Panther tribe moved by. At one point my hand reached out and touched the hair of a female warrior as she passed. A few feet later, she stopped, looking around for a moment as if someone had whispered in her ear. Moments passed and she moved on with her tribe. As they receded into the distance, I stepped onto the path and reflected back in time as I often do these days.

I have trouble remembering my name. I suppose that is to be expected since I haven't spoken to a man or woman in what seems forever. I try to remember the number of seasons that have passed and lose track easily. Taranis!, Yes, thats my name! Frowning, I think...ah, but that name belongs to another who died ages ago in another world. I have no name. I exist in the shadow of the real world of man. Backing into the dense forest, the man with no name once again becomes invisible.

The cool mountain stream becomes a mirror as the quiet waters of the lagoon pool silently. A creature clothed in primitive furs, dyed to blend into the deep forest approaches with stealth. His flesh is streaked with mud, and is vitually impossible to distinguish from the surrounding jungle. He almost flows, more than moves.. an almost total silence masks his passage to the lagoon as he bends over and gazes into the cold reflective waters. He sips from his hand and gazes at his reflection.

Am I even a man still, Taranis ponders as he sips quietly. The tribe of Panthers encountered earlier in the day consider me a forest spirit...some even worshiping me as some kind of deity. "The Fallen One" is their name for me, perhaps thinking I am a Priest King cast from the skies. I sit outside their camps and listen to their primitive language often, and have left sign of my passing as an amusement on my part. Once I came upon one of their tribe, wounded from a fall into a deep crevice. I carried her to the edge of the camp and whispered loud enough to draw her kin to her side. I could not help but leave footprints with her weight and they quickly back tracked to where I had found her and realized my deed. I suppose my legend grew from that.

I live day to day, my choices made from a primitive level. I seek no answers nor have I ambitions that I am aware of. I had started a journey of sorts..fueled only by the need for solitude, and had kept on that path for ages. Now I was not afraid of the scent of man. I could easily avoid both man and beast with stealth. For no special reason, I found delight in tracking both man and creatures, honing my skills and teasing them with my cunning. I didn't have any sense of time, for time doesn't exist in the world of shadows.

Seasons passed by silently as I wandered the forests. My past; purged clean and forgotten, now only a whisper in dreams at night... That is, until one morning when I detected the scent of something familiar hanging faintly in the air. My curiousity guided me towards the source until I emerged into a clearing where an old camp had once been made ages ago. Old rags, once the robes of man, littered the ground, along with a weathered traveling sachel..Various items of personal use were laying about, hardly visible due to the years since this camp had been active. Brushing aside the vines and overgrowth I discovered even more... vials and bottles, various instruments and assorted things.

Picking up the satchel, I brushed the dirt from the bag and saw a name inscribed. Barely able to read it, I picked out a T...then an A, then R... and suddenly a jolt ran through me and I dropped the bag....My head began to spin and the last thing I remembered was the sound of roaring water in my ears as I passed out and fell to the ground. When I awoke, I knew who I was and even more precisely....where I was. I was at the beginning...I had stumbled into my own camp, the last camp of Taranis, before he, before I.... ran away from the madness of the heart, into the Northern Forests. How and why I should find this place after all this time, is a mystery to me even to this day. Was it fate? luck?, or an unconscious urge? I will never know the answer to that. Suffice to say, I was here now.

I had made a decision and wasn't even aware at the time I had made it. Over the years, I left my madness in the forest along with all the images and events that created it. I longed for the company of man once more.. My heart needed to love again...Though these things were not clear in my head at the time, I do believe that is what happened... I gathered what belongings I could still use, and out of the Northern Forests I walked, never to return again. As I entered the foothills and looked back for the last time into the forest, a calmness came over me. I turned back to my path, and started walking, thinking, then saying: I will rejoin the world..........and my name is Taranis!