this has really helped me 
 

Just dropped by 
 

Great stuff! 
 

Hi there I am doing a research on sibling rivalry
Interesting thank you 
 

toronto canada 
 

hi nice site! 
 

Thanks for the article... it has been a great help especially to my client! 
 

Interesting, and thought provoking ! 
 

Very interesting 
 

Cool looking site you have here. 
 

Was helpful in completing my final research paper regarding sibling rivalry among two fictional characters.
PMurphy 5/13/07 
 

I have looked some pages and received useful knowledges. It's good! 
 

ha! that's quite unexpected :P 
 

Your site was extremely helpful for me as I did a research paper on sibling rivalry! Thank-you! 
 

neat site!! 
 

trying to find a solution between 11yr boy & 9yr girl. Are constantly fighting & I am at my tether.
6yr boy seems to be able to be with either of the other 2. 11yr old I feel needs to keep himself occupied were as the 9yr girl needs to not worry about so much. !!!???? any help would be appreciated. 
 

i had a great time learning about sibling rivalry for some reason 
 

Great work you doing on the site 
 

I enjoyed reading about sibling rivalry on your site! It was very informative! 
 

Exellent site and i will vizit this again 
 

Impressive site. good work. 
 

Hey nice site. 
 

It's a perfect book, which gives me lots of new ideas .Thank you . 
 

Awsome! 
 

Fine pics from Vietnam and Sweden http:phuong.panatet.se 
 

does money cause rivalry 
 

Gruß von Tobias ! 
 

Thank you!You can also visit my homepages 
 

very nice page helped me right a final exam for college....thanks...

greg 
 

Zufällig hier vorbei gekommen und einen netten Gruß hinterlassen! 
 

brienchenforfun@hotmail.de 
 

Nice Page! I will never miss it!! 
 

Woah 
 

wow! 
 

Excellent site 
 

nice
 

hey. great site ;) nice greetz from germany 
 

Very helpful as I am writing a novel about sibling rivalry. I am from Dublin,Ireland.
Maria 
 

Hallo ppl, how are u ? 
 

I found your site at google. It's great - Keep up the good work. regards, Sandra Article Directory
 

I love your site, Keep up the good work! I will pass on the word. - Joe Regan of Joeys Toy Box and DVDs http://www.joeystoybox.com 
 

thnaxs for the info:) i'm doin a parenting prject..you really helped<3 much love ...and remeber god loves you all 
 

good website. this helped 
 

I just had two daughters one just turned 3 and the other is not one yet. I let my older daughter help out with the baby and she even rocks here "bear she named after her little sister" so sleep next to me while I rock her sister. I have lots of one-on one time with the older child and even take her to mom and me gymnastics every week together and to appointments with me alone. I try to have talks with her about her sister, most of the time she is great but at times she will squeze her sister to tightly and I remind her that her sister is little. I feel guilty for spending time with her little sister if she is around or I will try to do more with her when her big sister is busy. I have them sleep at different times because that way I can have one on one time with the other and they don't get jealous. Overall I really keep up with it but I was wondering when they get older will I not have to be so careful. I hope that when they start playing together more that I will be able to so more activities together and they will be able to understand better that I still love them both and it is ok to spend time with the other. By the way my husband got a vasectomy. 
 

good but i did not get the evil thing not got that love it thanks 
 

I found your article very useful and it has brought clarity to a situation my boyfriend is the youngest of 4 and his 2 older brother is making his life reallly difficult as he has taken over the purse strings it is useful to see your explanation thanks 
 

I am the youngest of nine children, and I have one child.....can you guess why?????!!!!!!

I am aboutto visit my parents and some siblings and their children. It is sometimes confusing for me.

The family is now extended to 25 grandchildren, my son being the last, and now three great grandchildren

Your articles raise some very intersting pointe to ponder..thanks 
 

oh this is a wonderful site please keep up the good worl 
 

mm it was pleasant to me 
 

Power abuse sucks stand up against Stephen Harper 
 

As a second child of four I definitely experienced sibling rivalry growing up. I learned a lot from your article. 
 

nice website. this helped 
 

I am a Junior at a highschool in Ohio and we are doing reports on certain topics that have to do with family life. Ive spent 4 days trying to find something related to my topic "Sibling Rivalry" and yours has been the most helpful. I can also say that I can relate to a lot of the things you wrote about in the article. My younger brother is going to be 11 soon and I am 17. I also have 3 older sisters and the oldest is almost 30. Its difficult becuase he's the only boy so of course he's spoiled. My mom is not the best of mothers either. We had some hard times when i was younger and she feels as though she failed with me so she's given up on me and devotes all her time and attention to him. But I wanted to say thank you for letting all those other parents out there know that there is such thing as sibling rivalry and that it does get bad sometimes. Thank you for the help on my project as well. 
 

I Found your article interesting in respect of the fact that i have real differences with my Brother who is 8 Years Older, we have nothing in Common, he moved to Canada when i was 18, i lived in London England, then moved to Ireland, where i still live. Both of my Parents come from The Catholic Rural Ireland of the 1914's, There are only two Siblings in our Family, Both my Brother & Myself were born in London England in 1940's & 1950's my Brother would not bring his family to either country while my Parents where alive and up to this day Hasn't i am now 52, he was/is extremely distant towards me my cousins told me he bullied, / Scared the Life out of me when i was young, i cannot remember this. Since i was an adult, i have hit both my MOTHER, & FATHER, when they were alive & Have Had Physical Fights with my Brother who is still alive . why this started only when i was an adult i do not know, i have no History of Violence Outside of the Family at all, only inside my Close Family From Jerome O'Leary. 
 

I found this article informative and helpful. I am the mother of 2 boys that are 21 months apart. They are 7 and 9 years old now. There have always been little squabbles, but it seems that recently for some reason the older one thinks he needs to rule over the younger one. The 9 year old will often repeat me, if I say "brush your teeth please" then the older boy yells at the younger one "Brush your teeth!" I remind him that I am the parent, but he has continues to do it, strangely though he does apologize to me. The younger boy does antagonize a bit too. And sometimes after giving them hints to solve it on their own I finally have to step in. The older boy's aggression and frustration is way out of propoprtion to problem. I spend allot of time talking to him about how we treat others, how would he like to be treated and so on. Dad thinks this all could be cured with a few good spankings. I am against spanking for this problem though. 
 

Thank you for your article, "Sibling Rivalry". I'm doing a resaerch paper, and your article is so helpful and full of insight that I would use it as my only source, if I could. But I'm required to use "several" sources, so I can't do that. Again, thank you. 
 

this was a really good site and helped me with a uni assignment that i am doing. i will recommend this to anybody who needs it. 
 

this article came up as number one and I plan to read it. 
 

Very constructive. Thank you for helping me to provide information to support my assignment. Continue with the good work. \(^_^)/ 
 

I AM STRUGGLING VERY MUCH SO AT THE MOMENT WITH MY 5YR OLD AND 2YR OLD. I'VE NEVER REALLY STRUGGLED WITH DISIPLINE ON OTHER ISSUES BUT THIS IS ONE THAT COMES UP OVER AND OVER AGAIN EVERYDAY AND IS DRIVING ME MAD, THE CONSTANT FIGHTING AND TORMENT OVER TOYS AND SHARING. ALTHOUGH I'M FAMILIAR WITH WHAT YOUR SAYING IN YOUR ARTICLE, AND IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER - TECHNIQUES AND METHODS WOULD ALSO BE APPRECIATED......THANKS AGAIN 
 

I really appreciate your article on sibling rivalry. I have four younger siblings and there are times when the bickering gets to the point where I can only say "Just drop it. Let's talk about something else." It's not malicious or anything, but it just goes on and on, sometimes. My mother says she doesn't understand why we always argue. According to her, she and her four siblings never had the problems we do. At the same time, my father and his siblings are "split" over their parents' divorce, since some side with the mother and some with the father. It's good to know that my siblings and I are not the only ones with the arguing. 
 

Thank you, Dr. Boyle, for this clear,indepth essay on sibling rivalry. As a child, I watched my father's siblings, whom I knew loved each other, shout and yell at each other over past grievences. Now, my two youngest daughters are doing the same, and I wonder why they can't see each other as the fine women they each are. They're wasting good time being resentful. I accept my responsibility in treating the youngest more favorably and I have apologized. I frequently express my admiration to the older one for her amazing accomplishments. But they're still fueding, to the great dismay of those of us who love them both. Again, they're wasting good time. 
 

Thanks for the article... it has been a great help especially to my client! 
 

I found it interesting. It, however, still doesn't help me to figure out how to stop my two girls from fighting (4 years and 10 months old respectively). 
 

I wanted to let you know I was citing your words in a paper I am writing for class. Thank you 
 

Oh, yes, i'm familiar with what you'r saying 
 

I am a 54 year old woman and the sibling rivalry is to the point where I am going to have to disconnect from both my brother and sister. I am heartsick over this. But after years of trying to be there for them and having them take the help but then rebuke me, I can no longer turn the other cheek. Your article helped me see some of the bigger picture but it is so confusing and so hurtful. I live in Austin, TX. 
 

im doing research on sibling rivalry and your essay was very helpful. as a matter of fact, it was enough so i didnt have to go look at other websites. thank-you. 
 

Thank you so much! I really appreciated reading your work. I am a grandmother worried about the rivalry between my two very young grandsons and I am searching for knowledge for myself and their parents. 
 

thanks really helpfull in coursework im lucky i get on with my brother 
 

very usefull thanx i got on with my brother very well when we were young but now he is such a pain in the arse and we always fight will this be damaging when i have kids 
 

very interesting info. Thanks! 
 

very interesting read. However, what to do if you are the product of sibling rivalry and want to change things not only for your children but for yourself? 
 

A helpful article on sibling rivalry! (Big Bend National Park, Texas) 
 

I found these interesting to read, I am changing my views with my family to try to change the effects of my life as a child. 
I found this quite difficult with parents that don't change for the grandchildren. 
 

very interesting I am the yougest of 3 siblings and haven't done as well as the first one .
Thanks janet 
 

Information will set me free 
 

hey thanks for writing all this......im 12 ...my mom and dad saw me and my brother beatin the crap out of eachother and so now there "new punishment" is to make us write a paper on sibling rivalry, family , respect,etc.....soo i did get in trouble as much because like the writing said "it sometimes is caused by prized possesion of one using the game,etc.. and the other wanting to use it but the owner doesnt allow it" thats wut happened to me and my brother......he wouldnt let me play his game so when me and my friend started playing my game he was like "i call next game" then the game ended and i said " its not fair if i cant play urs and u can play mine"...so i tried to take the disk out of the PS2 and he lifted me up and threw me......then he slammed my head against the wall...so i punched him in the.........ok and then our parents stopped us. thanks for the help on the paper 
 

Do you have an interesting sibling rivalry story? 

Or, do you know anyone who does? 

Then, MTV wants to hear from you! 

------------ 

Wed, 7 Dec 2005 

MTV True Life: I�m Jealous of my Sibling 

Do you ever feel like your brother or sister gets all the glory? Are you jealous of your brother or sister because they are more successful, always get more attention from your parents or for any other unique reason? And are you planning to shake free of your sibling�s shadow somehow? If so, MTV wants to hear your story. If you appear to be between the ages of 16 and 28, write in and let us know the details of your sibling rivalry. Tell us why the story of your jealous relationship needs to be heard on MTV. Email us at jealous@mtvstaff.com with all the details of your story. Be sure to include your name, address, phone number and a picture if possible. 

----------- 
 

This was very useful information 
 

Your publication is very insightful. 
 

very good writing. thank you. 
 

This site was great, I needed information for a school project and it told me everything i needed to know! (I did cite :-] ) 
 

i find your facts very interesting 
 

good article. i am experiencing sibling rivalry with my 3 sisters now. i have 2 older and one younger and it is such a battle all the time that i made a decision to just alienate myself because i can't take it anymore, and now with the holidays coming it will be hard.
the oldest is 12 years older and mild.
the next (second) is bossy and controlling 8 years older than me
the younger one than me is 45 (2 years younger)and similiar to the second one (ringleader of the circus)
it is too long to tell you the whole story but i just don't know what else to do. i can't allow them to treat me this way anymore. 
 

great site, thanks and keep up the good work,
God bless 
 

great site. love it 
 

Your site is very cool, congratulations! 
 

Thanks for an interesting article. I appreciate you making it available. 
 

this site was very helpful! 
 

I wish I had this years ago have had no success in trying to befriend my sister. She has now waited till she could get the doctor's to affirm Alzeheimer's diagnosis for our mother so that she could movein on me and get my mother's care away from me. My parents twenty years ago talked to me about being their for them when they became elderly.
I sacrificed my life's profession to come to their aid. I did this willingly and knowing the consequences of my job marketability might be affected adversely. I did not know that my sister was so disturbed and hated me so much that whe would sacrifice our mother's last years of life on this earth to live in torment. She through lies set me up and the courts were already stacked against me. I was a criminal before I went there. The guidanship papers read that I was demented and abusive to mother as well as a thief. Everyone who heard this outside the court room who knew me and my parents are shocked that this could happen to me. I was not able to cross examine the guidenship papers that slanderedme. I was only allowed to answer what they wanted to ask me. I had power of attorney and because the attorney that set that in progress could not find the original one the discounnect the POA because the reevalued one was only months before the Alzheimer diagnosis. I am know still trying to care for mother because sister is out of town and cannot be here nor does mother want to talk to her about personnal affairs. I can not help her much because I do not have the POA in affect and sister is the guardian. I call her she will not do anything I say. Every thing I have ever said to her is considered a lie or false. What can one do? My kawyer who I finally found one after 15 lawyer searched the 14 & 15 dropped with in the week of trial and the present one tried to get a continuance but they would not listen. I think I could make a million $$$$ if I wrote this for a TV movie.My lawyer is keeping track of the events that my sister does that is counter to the guardianship and when she fails to do ner guardian duties. I want to keep this out of the courts because if the courts had be just my sister would have been humiliated. mom, Dad & i have tried to befriend and protect her and support her. Now I think we just made her mad. She is now getting her malicioulsy designed reward. The sad thing is she does not realize her just rewards are around the corner and I fear for her mental health which is tainted with this overbearing sibling rivalry. 
 

The story of Melinda and Josie has a lot of similarities to my situation. My older sister is like Melinda, constantly having to have her own way. Her bad temper, hatred towards me and constant verbal abuse have caused me much emotional pain and damage. 

I am very disapppointed that everyone is accepting the appalling behaviour of the aggressor, explaining it as her expressing her need for love. The sibling who is the victim of her anger did not deserve it, but is left alone to fend for herself, receive no help for healing. What's more, the recommended course is to extend more love to the abuser. This is unjustice and hurtful to the victim. 

Lou 
 

Execellent I am trying to become my Mother's legal guardian there is 10 years and 8 years difference between me and my too brothers, My father was violent and the idea of having a daughter was terrible and he hated it. My mother was cool and unemotional. I feel like the black sheep of the family. however my father died in a tragic accident along with his nephew my brothers were their but survived. I currently have a execellent relationship with my Mother and I gave her the greatest gift Unconditional Love. My brother put her in a Nursing Home he was her favorite, Ive had my problems lacl of self esteem and no respect for my self...This has all changed, Iam so grateful to God and seek his guidance all the time, and I am going to continue to stand up for my Mother's rights and my own. Your web sight is well appreciated. I live in the United States in Woonsockete Rhode Island. 
 

Enjoyed reading the articles and essays. 
 

Your website has been rather helpful. I wasn't aware of the rivalry between my sister and I until it was unbearable. She is 44 and I am 42. I don't even know where to start in figuring it out and lately have concluded that there is no figuring it out. I believe there is something wrong with her mentally at the foundation of all this. I moved to NY and after getting into some legal trouble in her state, she followed me and began a 15-year co-dependent, rivalrous and downright strange relationship. I had to opportunity to move to Los Angeles. I was there three years -- time enough away to figure out something wasn't quite right. She again followed me with reasons I still don't understand and the button pushing began, culminating in a fistfight over her not returning my apt. keys after I'd asked her not to hang out in my apt. when I wasn't there. I've since moved again. We have a third younger sister who she talks down about me to and everyone she meets. I recently came across a memory book from my senior year in high school and discovered, mixed within the heartfelt and sincere wishes of my classmates, she'd written comments glorifying herself and discounting my high school relationships and experiences. I sought therapy after the fight as I was suffering from PTSD from and incident that had occurred in L.A. shortly before she showed up. My psychiatrist helped me to reframe the whole relationship and to learn to set boundaries. I just don't understand why, if she hates me so much, why does she continue to try to inject herself into my life and take away or diminish that which is important to me and consistently paint me in a negative light? I have made great strides in my life and will continue to. I just don't understand this. Can you give me some insight? 
 

Thank you for your very informative web site I was doing this for a college class and ending up finding this helpful. thanks again 
 

I found your web site very helpful. I am the 4th child of 7 and have had many years of disappointment with my 3 sisters, how they exclude me all the time from doing "fun "things together. I am so dreading an upcoming wedding in another state where I will feel so out of place. My mother died when I was just under 5. My Dad remarried and moved all over the country. I am married and have 3 children of my own. I have only have 1 daughter that gave me great grief the past 1 1/2 years, my husband had open heart last year, i have my terminal mother in law living with me, lost my husbands sister who was a great friend to me....I could go on but I have found out the past 6 months i have anxiety and am trying different medication but as this wedding approaches that I have been left out of helping to plan the bridal shower I just want to stay away. I am attending with my children but my husband has to stay behind to care for his Mom. I am very nervous any ideas would be appreciated. 
 

i am doing sibling rivalry as my society and culture major assessment task in year 12. You website was so helpful and i thankyou for that. 
 

Thankyou for the information...I have 7 grandchildren to sort out....in the one family that are in my charge. I am an only child and my daughter has had 7 children...this is helpfull... 
 

im the oldest and i always get in troble 
 

Good -clear article-about abuse of power.
regards
sivananthan,chennai,india 
 

Thank you for your articles. 
 

This is a very important topic. I wonder if there is a connection between sibling rivalry and sociopathic behavior. The same lack of empathy and narcissism prevails in both. 
 

Please take a look at:

http://sandboard.ismy.lv
 

Thanks for the info - My mother who has my sister, common law husband and grandson living in her home has secretly signed her home into their names. It's a long story and I am searching for advice and assistance. She claims now that she wouldn't have done this with hindsight but also that I need not worry about her care (83 years old). Also if I get upset or question too much that this would be harrassment. My older brother and I originally arranged for them to move in with mom (my father had just recently passed) to give them a leg up. 
 

I have been punched and kicked many times by my brother, to the point of bruises and cuts. He is 18 and I am 15. Now that he is an Adult, I was wondering what changes now when he Harms me. Could I legally prosecute him? I need to know what to do now because I am afraid I'm going to be in a Hospital Soon.
Please Reply. 
 

Ummm. I think this site helped me...a lot! 
 

I found your article very interesting and informative. I am writing a research paper on the subject of sibling rivalry mainly so I may understand my own sisters hatered behavrior towards me. 
 

you really helped me with my advirsety project in english Thanks! 
 

To be honest, I like this page a lot, much to read about. Thanks!
www.abcgastronomii.com 
 

I teach sibling rivalry to 80-120 parents a year. This article has been extremely helpful. Thank you for your input. I appreciate it. 
 

To be honest, I like this page a lot, much to read about. Thanks!
www.abcgastronomii.com 
 

aggr@pochta.ws 
 

Thank you for this fascinating insight into Sibling Rivalry. I am currently expierencing this problem in our family, which has led to a dangerous situation with my brother in law, he is trying to manipulate my parents finances.He has lost so far. 
 

Very nice site... i really like it.. i wish u all the best... greetings :-)

------------------------------------
Prace magisterskie
 

This basic information is very thought provoking and helpful to me in my longstanding problematical relationship with my sister five years older who was between me and my brother siz years older than me. She always has felt I was favoured and that she missed out on our parents attention because she was born 14 months after him. 
 

Thank you; trying to write an essay concerning interprifessional issues; was very useful 
 

Excellent site, packed with top info, well designed and set out, will be back ! Hope you keep developing this site.! www.abcgastronomii.pl 
 

Thanks for your explanations, it makes sence of the problems we are experiencing as a family 
 

Bien que Francaise me rendant régulièrement à Penmarch /Mer depuis maintenant 9 ans, je viens de redécouvrir, voire découvrir, cet endroit magique grâce à votre site internet. Toll gemacht! Gruss aus der Bretagne, Ursel 
 

just reading some your articles have helped. i just bought the book Road Less traveled and Necessary Losses by Judith Viorst. I've come to understand that my sister has had no growth emotionally because she only remembers Mom's favorite children. Their are 8 children in our family. I saw the same but don't feel anger or hate toward those children. I love my parents regardless of what done in the past. My parents were not educated people and did their best in raising us. What i see is that she feels comfort in holding on to the past. i read a lot to educate myself and it had helped me deal with her rivarly with me and the other children. thanks for your website. 
 

It was very interesting to read your article. The recommended books also look worthwhile. My sister and I are in a family business together, that definitely produces friction between us.
I wonder if there's anything written on this subject. 
 

Great article,it was very informative.It really helped with my project
thanks 
 

it helped me alot with my project 
 

Exactly what I was looking for in this topic! Thanks for making it so easy for me!! 
 

thank you for the useful insight on this important subject. i plan to read more in the books recommended in your report. 
 

Thank you for this very useful and enlightening information. 
 

First time to this site ...thank you for opening a difficult area

Michael 
 

gdfd 
 

Great info on this site.
Thankk you! 
 

My children are in their fifties and my middle child (woman) has always had this "poor Me" attitude.I thought things had finally worked out, but just a couple weeks ago at a wedding it all came back and I was just looking for more information. I agree some what with what you said and question some of it too. Thanks 
 

great
 

this is helpful information 
 

the site is very ok with the information on resolving the conflict of sibling. 
 

I was just doing a cause paper for my college English class, and I got most of my information about the causes of sibling rivalry from this site.
-thank you 
 

for me sibling rivalry is definitely broad and unexplainable. 
 

I 
 

I have read all you had to say about sibling rivalry but still dont see the reason why my children fight or what I should do about it, since I feel I already have done everything you mentioned to prevent it.. I have 3 sons, 7,9 and 11 years old..... but thanks anyway. 
 

Excellent. I was invited to talk before a group of grade 3 parents on this topic and i have no scientific data to back me up. I decided to check with the net and i found your material. Thanks 
 

Very helpfull. My children aged 20(Adam) and 18 (Rebecca) have developed "hate"as they call it for each other. Rebecca wants to move out. I don't want her to. I hope your essay helps me sort things out in our family. 
 

nice, very nice 
 

VERY interesting. Thank you 
 

I found your site to be very informative and extremely interesting. I, myself, am the youngest in the family and found the information you provided to be very accurate and agree with your insights on the mind-development of the youngest child. 
 

Thank you for your comprehensive website on sibling rivalry. My daughter found it on Google.com and recommended it to me. In turn, I have recommended it to two of our other children. Your ideas and your links are the best I have found on this subject. We keep thinking that sibling rivalry issues are long gone, since our four children (we had 4 of them in 4.5 years) are now all in their forties. We appreciate your help. I liked your reference to Cain and Abel in Genesis, which we also had noted. There is also a related experience in the beginning of the Book of Mormon between three brothers, Nephi, Laman, and Lemuel, which is another sibling rivalry issue gone wrong; another noted sibling rivalry issue that was never resolved was between Abraham's two sons, Isaac and Ishmael, which eventually became the Jews and the Arabs, and they are still fighting.

Good work!
Regards,
Margie Sorensen 
 

thanks for the article! it has been a great help especially to my client.. 
 

nice article...helpful! 
 

Dr. Boyle,
I found this page interesting. The definitions are on point and true.

Sharon 
 

Schöne Seite! Gefällt mir recht gut! Würde mich sehr darüber freuen wenn ihr meine Seite auf einen gegenbesuch anschaut! Bis dann cu Thilo www.thilo.hinrichs.de.vu 
 

I have 5 children, the younger ones i can handle without a problem, the older girls 11 and 15 are constantly pushing eachothers buttons, and they both hate eachother.. its a power play, and a diffucult one to say the least. Any adivece would be great. thank you 
 

Chossing this topic as an interest project at school, i feel this site provided worthy information. 
 

cool

huth@safetysoft.de 
 

fyi 
 

Hi 

Just thought I would say Hi

I run a small web design and internet marketing company in new zealand 
 

Da gibts einiges interessantes zu lesen! 
 

yep, i agree 
 

Very informative. I was a little offended by the use of the word "hate". I don't believe that love and hate are emotions unto themselves. I think resentment is a more appropriate word when discussing unresolved sibling rivalry being played out on our own children. Also, I am desparate to know more about identical twin boy sibling rivalry when there is an older boy in the family. Help! 
 

Wow, great news. I think it's good idea. 
 

I am # 2 son, born 22 months after my older brother. You are not kidding! But I forgave hime years ago. 
 

Thanks for describing the real depth and darkness of the problem. 
To gain the larger share of parental attention is a pitched battle for sharks, eagles -and Boys.
My two nephews are reenacting many of the Biblical pairings in what appears to be instinctual attempts at fratricide. You have described the dynamic most accurately , so, Thanks! 
 

Dr. Boyle,

This is very insightful information. I think I'm now on the right track to start dealing with sibling rivalry issues in my own home between my 2 very young boys. They're becoming downright TERRIBLE!!! Thanks for the reference leads, so my husband and I can start to turn this thing around.

Sincerely,
Erica Baravik 
 

Hi Dr. Boyle,
I read with such interest your article on sibling rivalry. Well written, and well done, I must say.
I saw my own family throughout the text, and oddly enough, the same patterns in my husband"s family. 
I had vowed with the birth of my own children, now 5 and 3, boy and girl respectively, that problems and rivalry will stop with this generation. I then read your article and am fascinated.
My question to you is primarily about my brothers.
We are all adults in our 30's, I am the youngest. I have two older brothers whom I do not speak with anymore. I have tried to speak with them, agree to disagree with them, requested that they at the very least be cordial with me or have interest in my children. The oldest brother seldom addresses my kids, if we happen to be in the same place, nor does his wife. They do not speak with them, and never say hello or goodbye to them. My oldest child has remarked on this. The second brother gushes initially at the children and then removes interest rather quickly.
Unfortunately the same behaviors can be seen on my husband's side, with his mother and sister. It is as if my kids (or us) do not exist, or lets say very little attention is paid to them. It feels at time almost sociopathic. As for my brothers, the two of them are inseperable. They work together, socialize together, and depend on each other almost in a symbiotic relationship which I do not view as healthy.
How to deal with these problems has been a constant question in my head and heart. I feel for each of them, especially after reading your article, but I cannot get away from the feeling of personal failure that I carry when I don't think anymore that there is a solution.
My older brother and his wife are expecting their first child, and I worry what will happen. Can this cycle ever really be broke??
Thank you for any help or wisdom you may have on this topic.
Mary
New York 
 

im suppose 2 be doin my skool work
lol
im bored
this site is kickass 
 

Dear Dr. Boyle,
I respectfully offer you my insights on sibling rivalry. I consider rivalry to be directly related to favoritism, and further submit that favoritism is inevitable among parents. Thus, it is much more important for parents to be "prepared" for parenting rivaling siblings than it is for children to be "prepared" for unborn siblings to be brought into the family. 
Furthermore, the division of labor amongst parents, which is also an inevitable event, is such that one is necessarily more indulgent or perceived by the children as more "loving" than the other. The more loving parent, whether father or mother, is the Prime Love Giver, and remains that way for the remainder of the life of the family for all future children. The other parent takes on the role of the Auxiliary Love Giver, or helper parent, and is more detached and usually more disciplinarian. 

Thus you have a family model: Prime and Auxiliary parents, and children who are alternately of a Favored and Disfavored disposition. 

Finally, it is no accident that the story of Cain and Abel is the first one in the Bible. It is the paradigm of life. What parents need to know is that it is going to happen. The problem is how to handle it realistically. 

You may look for my website, which will soon be launched. In the meantime, reference to my work can be found on WebMD.com.

Dr. Vera Rabie-Azoory 
 

I have a 4 year old girl, who was only 9 months old when i became pregnant with her brother, i hear her whispering to her brother to do bad things and seems to try to get him into trouble generally, i try my best for my kids, i stay at home and my life revolves around them, the weekends are always about them, and i try to give them as much time as is humanly possible, it seems this is not enough and i wish i knew where i was going wrong, my little girl only seems happy when all is conflict, i'm going to try taking her out alone tommorow, maybe she just needs my individual attention.
I enjoyed your article and will continue to look for solutions. Lisa. 
 

My husband and his 3 sisters are dealing with a parent who has terminal cancer. Their rivalry is explodes into screaming,verbal abuse situations whenever the four children are toghether. It is destroying the parents and they are reduced to tears after every episode their children are creating! I hope this will help before one of their parents is gone. 
 

I would like info about my 23-month-old girl granchild who is extremely loving to her 1-month-old brother but is pitching fits otherwise for no discernible cause her parents can find. These fits seem to have nothing to do with the baby. 
 

great help!!! 
 

excellent website..!!!!! 
 

Helped me alot in my paper on growth and Development 
 

Excellent source for my research paper... You have been cited my friend! 
 

A very interesting and informative essay. 
 

helped me a lot with my children 
 

this helped with my research for my paper, thanks! 
 

researching sibling rivalry 
 

The Federal Government is allowing the Credability & Reputation of the Police & The Legal System, to be distroyed to protect ONE corrupt Lawyer, Politician, Judge, Child Rapest & Underworld Godfather .This man has broken every law he swore to protect. Because this X-Justice Minister and Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, raped and impregnated my 11 year old sister, and covered it up his entire career, no one will help us. To this day, no lawyer will represent me and the legal system will do nothing to help. The last lawyer I asked to represent me, told me, if any lawyer tried to represent you, it would mean the end of their career. Visit my web site at http://maxpages.com/sexualabuse , Stand up for Canada as it should be, not as politicans tell us it is, E-mail the Prime Minister, make a positive difference. 
 

I picked sibling rivalry as a topic for my grade 12 family studies course and found your site gave me much appreciated information... both primary and secondary sources. Thanks so much! I've learned alot to take back with me when I one day become a parent. 
 

I am just getting atarted, will let you know. 
 

i am facing a problem of sibling rivalry at home with my two sons aged 17 and 18 years. I hope a detailed study and implementation of the suggested ideas will help improve the situation 
 

I'm having a hard time with my children and rivalry, I enjoyed reading your article. 
 

Your article on sibling rivalry is very informative, and gives parents a lot of good advise.
My situation is one that has me at a loss. I understand now why my older sister doesn't like me, but I don't understand why she goes to extremes to actually destroy others perception of me, She spends her life bashing my character, my personality, and my credibility as a person. She has turned most of her children (who loved me very much at one time) against me. She has destroyed my relationship with my daughter, therefore I cannot have my grandchildren in my life. I never knew I was her rival. She presented herself to me as someone who cared for me and liked being around me. I was clueless my whole life that she didn't like me. When the peices of the puzzle started to come together I was devastated. She has victimized me my whole life then stepped in and took over my role as the victim. You see a few years ago one of her sons was in a horrible accident, leaving him with a closed head injury. I went often to help with my nephew's recovery, thinking that it would also help my sister out. Since my daughter would have nothing to do with me, (not understanding why at the time), it made me feel needed to help my nephew out, it gave me a purpose and reason for being, and kept my mind off what I was missing with my family. As time went by I realized that my sister was just "too busy" to make it to the home even once a week. Because I was doing what she should have been doing, she tainted everything. She said I was just trying to make her look bad. That I was slowing down his progress of comming out of coma because I was there too late at night, and I was doing this and saying that, and lying about things. I was out of my mind trying to figure out what I had done to her. Some of my younger siblings tried also to get answers, but my sister just ranted and raved never giving any reasons, to anyone. Until the other day, my younger sister moved back in state and had asked my older sister. "what happened between you two anyway?" My older sister replied "I just never really liked her any way, even when we were kids." I finally, in that split second, had my answer. I finally knew what it was I had done: I was born. I couldn't prevent it but it was I who started the chain of sad events in our family, (through my sister's eyes, that is.) My sister was two when I "intruded" into her perfect world. Eleven months later, here comes two more intruders (The twins.) My parents had started fighting alot because of my Dad's infidelity. But them little intruders kept on comming. When I was two another little brother was born. There, now we had 5 of us under the age of 4. And one more 5 years later. Shortly after that my parents divorced. My mom on her own with six kids! There are so many things that have been done to me at the hands of my own sister, and is still happening, I can't even scratch the surface here. I just don't know how to deal with this situation. It's too big for me. But it just won't stop and I don't want to go to my grave with the people I love thinking that I was something horrible and evil. I love life and I love to help people, I believe I go the extra mile for anyone who needs help. It makes me feel good. I have no hidden motives. I just like to help. My sister won't. I am now 45, my sister, 47. The sister under me went to her grave thinking that I was spreading rumors about her and "doing horrible things to her behind her back while she was sick and dying. (This was told to another family member) I just keep hearing more each day. She has become a virus in this once very close family. I know my older sister, by now, believes what she is saying. But I need it to stop and I don't know how to do that or how to get my family back. Do you have any suggestions for me? I know she will never see a counsler, because "she's not the one with the problem". But she is working so hard to defame me, that I feel I need to do some kind of damage control to protect myself and mine.
I would like to hear if there are other families who might recognize some of the same things that I am experiencing. Please help me find the solution. P.S. Our Mother, a very loving and caring woman, Died in an auto accident at the young age of 43, I was 22 yrs. old at the time. She was my passenger, Do you think that might have something to do with my sister's hatred for me? Please reply. Thank You 
 

i am doing an essay on sibling rivalry 
 

I think this is a verry well put web sit but the only this is, is thatyou menchoned about the parents shoud whate in be tween children so that thay both get the attshon that thay need and in my case i have 2 nephues that are obne year apart and yet there the best of friends and i thik its be cause there so close in age. 
 

this has helped me with my report. thank you 
 

i really liked the material and i am doing my masters from india and i will definitely make use of the matter..it covers the topic in wide perspective ........
all teh best
sonia 
 

Your article was very helpful. I have two boys and now i can begin to understand the problem with both of them and me and my family. Thanks for publishing such an awesome article. 
 

your a great sorce site! 
 

I am just doing research for an article I'm writing on sibling rivalry. This site has been most helpfull. 
 

I enjoyed your website as it provided a wide knowledge on the topic of sibling rivilary. It covered a number of angles and even covered what the community can do. Well done 
 

I really like your website it has helped me a lot in writing my psycology paper about sibling rivalry. 
 

hi good article you got on what abuse of power is.

kind thought's,

all the best. 
 

very usefull for me 
 

Excellent article. 
 

interesting 
 

Great article. It gave good insights to the struggles I still have with my siblings eventhough we are adults. 
 

IN MY OPINION,SIBLING RIVALRY IS INEVITABLE.HOWEVER,SUCH SITUATIONS SHOULD BE AVOIDED!!!IF PROVOCATION OCCURS IT CAN BE DETRIMENTAL. 
 

Interesting reading 
 

This page gave me plenty of great information....but i thought that this page would focus more on the causes and how to get through it......but thanks anyway! 
 

very good....gave me good ideas and stuff for my project 
 

I am 13 and i have a twin brother with learning disabilities. I am in the seventh grade and i have really hard 9th grade classes. he has for the first time in his life climbed out of the ec classes and into regual on level classes. we have major differences...he can put together anything and i am aceing the 9th grade at 13. there is major rivalry at our house.
your info has really helped. i also am doing a paper on sibling rivalry and again thank you. 
 

Dear Dr Boyle,
I have twin sons age 13 now. I know they love one another. Yet, they can get into some terrible fights. I found your article to be informative and interesting. Thank You for the advise. 
 

Thanks for the information 
 

informative reading 
 

I found this to be very interesting reading. It also shed some light on relationships in my family. It also gave me information that I would further like to research. Thank You! 
 

Great reading recomendations!
Thanks, I will recomend your site to the parents in my classroom. 
 

I'm writing a research paper and this is the first bit of information that I'm using. 
 

Your research is very commendable. Looking back I can now understand why my brother and I have turned out the way we have. 
 

i would like to commend your research. As i reflect the relationship with my brother, I can say that my parents where able to deal with us properly. As we have grown older loving and supporting each other. 
 

Every child deserves to be raised - with understanding. Thank you for this insight. 
 

I would like more information about an older boy sibling who would tease and torment a younger (13 mo.) sister. I as the mother was unable to stop the abuse and it drove all of us mad. 
 

i find this article an easy-to-read yet helpful piece in understanding sibling rivalry. highly recommended! please, keep this updated always! 
 

My wife and I have 4 children, 15 year old indentical male twins, 11 year old girl and 10 year old boy. Parenting is the hardest thing I've ever done. Your writings help shed some light on their behavior. 
 

I hope the info I gain from your site will aid in preventing my grandchildren from killing each other. Well, not really - but listening to the screams, crying and subsequent tearful complaints makes on think so. 
 

Dear Dr. Boyle,

I am experiencing sibling rivalry between my grandchildren. I hope your article will help me and my daughter in handling this very glaring problem.

Thank you. 
 

Dear Dr. Boyle,

I am the English as a Second Language Coordinator at Black Hawk College. In our intermediate reading class, we deal with the topic of sibling rivalry. I would like to have permission to use your article in the class. I will include the proper credits. Since I will develop materials to go with this, I would like to use it for more than one semester.
Thank you for considering my request.
Anne Bollati 
 

Interesting essay. 
 

Hi Dr. Boyle,
That was great. I hope to put your advice into practice to reduce the sibling rivalry among my boys. Thanks for sharing your information with me.
rosevelyn 
 

Congratulations on your very well-researched articles! Under NO circumstances should parents love one child more than another-this REALLY hurts the 'less-favored' children. They are ALL your children, and this mere fact should be kept in mind by parents! I'm 'lucky' enough to be an only child, but I have always sworn that if I were to start a family and have more than one child,I would never prefer one child to another. 
 

Me and my brothers was always fight. Now I know why. The Fights are signs that we are close. I would never be able to fight or to yell with stranger. 
 

Thank you so much for your informative and though provoking article; I found the description of the schema particularly revealing. 
 

I'll think twice before I start to blow up on my younger brother again...and I'm 33! Thnks for working so hard to share this information. 
 

Thank you, this is very helpful information. 
 

i really enjoyed reading your article. will you be
publishing anymore informtion on this topic? 
 

Thank you. 
 

sometimes I hate my brother. He abuses his power over me because I am younger. He also phisically abuses me behind parental supervision. Please post an idea for me to do! 
 

WOW!!! thanx a lot...ur site helped me a lot. i was able to find so much information on sibling rivalry that there will be no way i will get a bad mark...THANX:D 
 

This article explained a lot about why my middle child is the way that she is. I now know that it is not because she is a girl, but because she is only 10 months older than her younger brother. This was a great resource for my psych paper as well a great pleasure article to read. Anyone that has or is thinking about having kids should read this. 
 

Enjoyed and valued your article so much I hope you will give me permission to copy it then share with the parents who will be attending a program on sibling rivalry I will be conducting for our school PTA. I would also like to share with parents enrolled in the parenting programs I am conducting. I am a retired school counselor and a H. Stephen Glenn Developing Capable Young People trained leader. 
 

Good stuff you got there, im doing a report and here was a lot of useful information on this page!!!
Thanks! 
 

a good read. very informative. 
 

hey, great site! I sure found out 1 or 2 things about sibling rivalry!

keep on the good work,
The_Venom 
 

Very thorough and as we say at church - "convicting"! 
 

I am at my wits end with sibling rivalry.
9yr old son is always picking on 6 yr old son.
6yr old stirs 9 yr old. 
I could honestly leave home at times. 
 

I Was searching through Yahoo for personal home pages and came across yours. I wanted to stop and compliment you on your page. Looks great. 
 

There is a lot of tension between me and my 10 siblings (not including me in the 10) I am the 5th of 11. PLEASE HELP!!!! 
 

Thanks 4 all the stuff!!! I need this 4 school...it was a big help!!! t h a n k s ! 
 

thanks for all the info...i have to do a report on this for school...it was a big help!! ~THANKS~ 
 

very helpful article 
 

Thank you for one of the best articles that I have read on sibling rivalry. Very well written,it obviously required massive amounts of research. I will try to use some of your advice to obtain a semblence of peace in our household,in which the 2 older children F(10) and M(8) are constantly fighting,taunting, etc. I had not fully considered the effect of having the 3rd child on the first two. The third is not yet a year old but the fighting has escalated substantially since her arrival. 
 

Good material. My 35 year old son hates his 33 year old sister. It causes us all great grief so I am trying to see if I can find a solution. 
 

it's ok but get something new and interesting 
 

I found this all very good and helped me unsestand a few issues with myself and my kids. At the end of the day we are all human and we all make mistakes at the heat of the moment. 
 

thanks for the school project 
 

excellent reading - very reassuring and points to take on board and implement 
 

Really interesting stuff. It's an apt subject for me as I am caught right in the middle of an escallating rivalry between my partner and his elder brother who continues to abuse by exploiting and using him to run every little needless errand most of the time just to 'power play' 
 

excellant page. thank you. I have gained some incite on how to deal with my husband and his brother who as adults still rival each other. 
 

It was great! 
 

Great information!! I need some info for a child development calss of mine thanks again for all the wonderful info. 
 

Got useful insight into the problem. 
 

I am looking for for some facts. 
 

I really found this website very helpful as I am doing a huge task in Child Development that I needed information on sibling rivalry. Thanks again and if you can find the time I would love to hear from you. 
 

This is a topic that has been on my mind lately - thanks for the resources! 
 

I enjoyed your piece of information alot. I would like to be able to read more. 
 

Thanxs so much for the help... Im doing a project on Sibling Rivalry and this gave me everything I needed to know!- Thanxs again, Jamie 
 

this has been quite useful, thanx! 
 

Thanks for your essay... It has taught me a lot and left me with some questions to apply to my own situation. 
 

I am desperate mother with two daughters 11 and 13 their fighting is becoming unbearable. I just came across this and printed it. Hope to get some pointers. 
 

Very good page. It helped me for my research project. Email me sometime!! I live in Hamilton! I am 17 
 

this is a great site it really helpped me with my speech 
thanks again 
hailey 
 

Is it possible to please keep me updated with further information in this field? Thankyou 
 

i think this is good article, i need this for my last paper in university. tahnk you very much and i will always follow your up grading for your asticle.we can change information ang you can contact me if you need help 
 

Excellent article to read and to be relied on. 
 

I've emailed the hyperlink to my adult sibling with whom I've been at odds for 39 years. Your article has inspired me to prepare and present a speech to the our local Parent/Teacher organization on this subject. 
 

I am a graduate student in Pastoral Counseling and doing my first year of clinical internship. I have a client who has a two year old and a nine year old, both girls. The older child is rebellious, mean,disrespectful, and even hits the younger one. I was hoping to get some insight ftom your website. 
 

I am a psychology student and wanted to get some more information for my term work. I found this essay very interesting. It`s full of information and showed me a lot of new ideas. As far as I am just preparing my work, I won`t use your article. Dont` worry. But it was very interesting to read it. 
 

Excellent article summarizing major theoretical points! 
 

Hi! I read a little about your site. I too am in the same situation with sibling rivarly with my siblings. I am not included into family gatherings and one sister 2 years younger doesn't want anything to do with me. Over the years I've tried to find out why she acts this way but it does no good. It only makes things worse and my mother yells at me not her. Thanks
Martha 
 

Very interesting! I have two boys, 2 1/2 and 4. If one gets a toy, the other wants the exact same toy or it produces a long bout of sibling rivalry for the day. 
 

Hey, Mr. Boyle. I didn't know you knew so much on this type of stuff. Great stuff to read. 
 

Hi! I read your paper and would like more correspondencewith you. I am working on my Masters dissertation on "the second sibling" It would be good to be in touch with you. I am a student of Delhi Univrsity, India.
Anubha 
 

this has answered a lot og ques. for me. i have two stepsons who demonstrate pathological jealously, didn,t realize it could go into adulthood. i,m an only child with only one son myself. 
 

interesting reading 
 

some valid concerns raised, though without sliding to extremities i remain somewhat dubious whether any persistent negative developmental impacts result from sibling rivalry. I'm currently visiting the Royal Children's Hospital in Melbourne preparing a paper on the extrinsic factors which influence growth and development in younger siblings, and would be interested to read your thoughts concerning the benefits or otherwise of being reared with an older sibling. From experience i've seen that they generally progress along higher centiles compared to their peers, but if yours is different let me know. i realise that the intent of our papers are not fully congruent, but the common theme should provide a workable forum for discussion. 
 

Great stuff! 
 

I need help in stopping the incessant fighting, name calling and arguing between our two boys, aged 9 and 11. It is constant all day during summer vactaion and every morning before school and as soon as they arrive in the door from school. Nothing works. Help! Any suggestions. The older on (11) is also saying things like "no, you can't make me" when we ask him to do something" or he conveniently comes up with a stomach ache, headache, sore leg whatever. Helpppppppppppppp! 
 

Cool web-site!!!!!!!!!!!! 
 

Dude, great article/paper! I really, really learned alot from it. Isn't is truly amazing how the human brain works. We did not even learn how or brain works yet, and we are mightly close to cloninghuman beings. We might be closer the figuring out the Secrets of Cosmos or finding out the true reason we are here on Urth in the first place or even learn we are not alone in the Galaxy, than unlock the minds full hidden potential. Taking quantum leaps to the future, cheers. 
 

Re: Sibling fights 

Hello Diane:
(Other readers, please see below) 

Thank you for your message. How old are your children? 

Have you checked the "20 Tips to Stop Sibling Rivalry"?
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T064200.asp

I would also recommend that you read at least the chapters on "Communicating with children" and "How to say no" (Chapters 4 and 5) from the following book: 

Dana Chidekel, 2002.
Parents in Charge: Setting Healthy, Loving Boundaries for You and Your Child
Simon & Schuster. 

(You can probably borrow this book at your local library or purchase it locally or through the net). 

Of course, the best advice in the world will not do you much good if you don't apply it (or if you and the other caregivers to your children are giving them conflicting signals). 

Also - Read my essay again - slowly - (you can print it out and read it at your leisure) - think of what you can apply in your situation. 

Go to my "Additional Reading page"
https://www.angelfire.com/md/imsystem/sibaread.html

Print it out, and take it with you to your library or bookstore - browse through these books, and see which ones seem to make the most sense to you (we are all different and we process information more or less differently, so some books may seem to "speak" more clearly to you). 

And, of course, each situation is different. You could also try family therapy and/or parent support group meetings. 

I hope this helps. 

With my best wishes, 

William Antonio Boyle, Ph.D. 

"Any method is better than no method. However, some methods are better than others."
 

My two children constantly fight,and it's very tire
some.I wish they would stop but they don't.It seem's
like they fight a 1000, times a day and you can tell them to stop and they don't. 
 

Hi. I needed some resources for my presentation to my parent group. I am a social worker at a child care and preschool center, and I have monthly meetings with our parents in the evening. This will be my last session with the parents entitles "Sibling Rivalry". I found this essay very interesting and helpful in giving me some notes to present and dialogue about. Thank you. Sean. 
 

Re: Birth of twin siblings

Hello again Alexe:
(Other readers please see below).

Thank you for letting me know about your new twin siblings - They must be just adorable -

And, you are very lucky - you are going to participate in helping these two new human beings create themselves - which is perhaps the most wonderful experience a person can have! 

My congratulations to you and all your family!

William Antonio Boyle, Ph.D. 
 

Hi, its Alexe again (see entry 63), just wanted to inform you that there are two new babies in the house! My mom gave birth to (another!!) set of healthy twins on June 2, 2002. Leo James weighed in at 5 lbs, 8 ozs and Emylie Jillian weighed in at 4 lbs, 11 ozs. Leo and Emy are doing very well, and so far the only hint of sibling rivalry has been from my brother riley who is only 10 and doesnt like not being the baby of the family any more. Hopefully what i learned from your site will help, especially since Leo and Emy have 6 older siblings to contend with! lots of love, Alexe 
 

I am currently writting an essay of my own for my psychology class. I found the information in this essay to provide me with many good points about the origins of sibling rivalry. Many books talk about solutions to decrease the severity of sibling rivalry but none talk about what sibling rivalry is or where it came from. Thanks for providing me with the information that I was looking for. 
 

Thanks 
 

Thank you so much for your insightful essay. A large burden has been taken off of my shoulders by understanding the dynamics of sibling rivary. 
 

great site...nice resource 
 

Thank you for this very informative website. 
I have just begun reading it . I cannot consontrate at the moment because of the Stress today at my work because of my Supervisor.
I will read deeper tomorrow when in the right frame of mind. I can see where a person could have a stroke because of the Bullying by a Supervisor.
Thank you again for your site. 
 

Thank you for caring about this life altering subject. 
 

I am 15 and i have 3 brothers, one sister and one half-sister. i was very interested in your site because of the closeness between me and my siblings- my half-sister hayleigh is 20, my brother aidan is 18, my sister evann is 17, my twin brother spencer is also 15, and my younger brother riley is 10. i will make a few comments about my personal experience with sibling rivalry; my brothers and i all get along excellently except for the youngest. we fight a lot, however almost everyone in the family fights with him. my twin brother and i are the closest, with my older brother being a close second. My half sister is just fun to have around, and my younger brother is a little annoying. but my sister and i (she is twoyears older) fight like cats- sometimes we get along but very, very rarely. she doesnt get along so well with my twin brother, either. thats all! please email me!! -alexe 
 

I am an author and wanted to add my MOPS children's picture book to your list of suggested titles on the topic of sibling rivalry. It's called, "Sister For Sale" and was released by Zonderkidz in March 2002. To order, go to Barnes & Noble.com or Amazon.com. Thanks! Michelle 
 

i thought your essay was excellent. i am training to be a childrens nurse and part of my course i have to write an essay on the nurse`s role on an aspect of child rearing. i think you explored some great ideas that i could reccomend to distressed parents! 
 

great site thanku (used it for a university presintation in Physical & Health ed) 
 

I needed to review your notes on sibling rivalry for a developmental psychology research paper and it was very helpful. Thank you! 
 

Very interesting paper, was nice to have you as a teacher for a few days! 
 

I am finally glad to find a really good informative site. I will be reading alot of the recommended books listed. Thank You for all of your intelligent, interesting, helpful insights. 
 

I myself am only 12 and have many btothers and sister(8) and I'm doing sibling rivalry for a school project. I like your article alot and did not kow most of the interesting things mentoined, Thank You. 
 

I am a Mental Health/Disabilities Coordinator for a Head Start Program. We have lots of sibling rivalry cases. I am relieved to find some information on the subject. 
 

very informational for a paper i was doing! 
 

Very well constructed website! Good luck with your new teaching assignment! 
 

help... they are driving me crazy! HA! Thanks a bunch for your site... it is very helpful. 
 

A good start for my paper! Also some helpful explanations of my sister and I> 
 

This is good! Explains my family to a tea. It also will help me with my 2 children. I have a son who is almost 12 and a daughter who is 8. Need I say they fight like cats and dogs?
I'm trying to be a better mom. I will continue to read on. 
 

it was goood infomation for my project! 
 

I have a 4 year old daughter, and she will become a sibling in one month and she is starting to show some jealousy signs, and I was trying to stop or change the attidude she is aquiring. Your article help me understand this is all normal. Thank you 
 

Thank you for such an excellent essay. I needed to write an essay on sibling rivalry... and you esssay has been an excellent help. Thank you 
 

This synopsis gave me a lot of insight. I just recently had a serious argument with my younger brother, we have not fought like that in years. I would be very interested in seeing more info. about this.
Thanks Jenean :o) 
 

I would like soome more information on this topic as I have some clients that are trying to deal with this issue. Thank you just e-mail it to me. 
 

Re: Parenting 

Hello Bridgette:
(Other readers, please see below) 

Thank you for your message. 

Have you tried (I mean *really* tried) the Parent Effectiveness Traning? - See: 

Thomas Gordon, 2000.
Parent Effectiveness Training: The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children.
Crown Books. 

If you and your partner study and apply these techniques for some three months I'm almost certain you will get some positive permanent results. 

However, each child is different. If this doesn't work, you could try family therapy and/or parent support group meetings. 

I hope this helps. 

With best regards, 

William Antonio Boyle, Ph.D. 

"Any method is better than no method. However, some methods are better than others." 
 

Hello Dr. Boyle,
I checked out your web site to get some input about my 5 yr old daughter and my 3 yr old son, (22 months apart). She was fine until he was 8 months old and then she started getting very strongwilled-not really directed towards him, but everyone!! Very aggressive and I think part of it was because she talked a tad later than most and expressed herself the only way she knew how. She is much better with others now but the constant fighting drives me crazy. I read lots of books but I have never seen anything substantial regarding a solution which leads me to believe that it's "just the way it goes"!! Got any tips? We have a pretty nice 2 parent family and we are fairly consistent with our parenting. I have baby sat kids who come from divorce, etc, and they are so gentle with their siblings! What's your take on a solution to this challenge, I've tried everything from time outs to letting them work it out (the former has worked best, plus I'm not completley worn-out) -Bridgette 
 

i love you page. It have a lot of information the is educated to our community. Everybody should see this page. 
 

I am the mother of three children, all boys, and I find this description of sibling rivalry to be fairly accurate. 
 

I enjoyed the article and will use some those thots in my personal ministry. 
 

You are right about the abuse of power. Once your website is found by certain people . It will be remove. So work fast and let others know about your situation. You are not ALONE. 
 

interesting information I am hoping to write a paper as part of a famiy therapy course on some issue related to the sibling bond. Given the prevalence of large families in Ireland, though this is now changing, this issue is particularly relevant. I agree the issue of sibling relationships has been neglected I am having difficulty finding information. 
 

I liked your essay very much. It has helped me to understand why children act the way they do. I just wish you had written this essay when I was still little, and my mom could have read it. She could really have used this information when she was raising four children single-handed. 
 

thankyou for sharing this with me 
 

i thought that it was a good source of informantion and will use it again 
 

thanks a lot, I'm doing a project for for school, and this really helps a bunch! thanks! 
 

very useful for my speech 
 

I just wanted to let you know that I used a couple quotations on your site for my school report in Children's literature. I hope thats okay. 
 

Great information. I learned a great deal and hope to use it with my two children. 
 

Thanx for your article. I am doing a study of family break-ups after the death of parents. So often, adult children become enemies over the division of the family estate. This has happened in my own family, so I decided to do research to help others. I would appreciate any other input you or any of your readers have for my topic. 
 

I'm a highschool student doing research on sibling rivalry thank you for letting me use it I will be sure to give you credit 
 

an excellent paper...it really helped me in my research of sibling rivalry for a family studies class. I like how the topic was related to the Judeo-Christian religion and the human mental structure. 
 

I went here to see what i can do cause all i ever do is fight with my little brother. Hes a little pest. 
 

informative 
 

i havent read your article yet but i'm planning to use the whole thing for a psychology magazine report. It was the first thing i found in my search engine, and i was very happy to find it. Good insight and writing...
------kare 
 

I am a researcher and a social worker. I have downloaded your paper for my research work. I am sure your initiative for such an important but neglected issue will give guidance to all, who are related with child rearing in one or the another way. Good work done. Thank you for the paper.

With regards and best wishes,
Aapga 
 

I was tremendouely enlightened by your work. 
 

An very useful site. Thanks 
 

This was very interesting and informative; I've gained new insights on myself as a parent. 
 

Hello, I've only read the first part of your page, but it is already very interesting. I have three children. Amanda is almost 12, Trevor is 9 and Rebekah is 3. The older two children are fighting a lot lately and I'm hoping to get some insight on how to help the situation by reading the rest of your article. Thank you for making it available. Sincerely, Scott 
 

I have a one year old son and a two year old son. I was stupid to think that having them so close together would elevate the the kind of rivalry my husband had with his brother who is four years his senior. The article is very helpful and I am very thankful for such resources to assist me in rearing my children. There have been many times in discussions though that I have stated there should be more done to teach people about mental well being. In high school we recieved tips like reciting positive lines to oneself in the mirror but in my opinion this kind of instruction was greatly lacking in time and organization. 
 

I thought this website was very informative and well researched! I'm glad to know that there is atleast one person who thinks that not all sibling rivalry is fun and games! thank you for your information, it will really help my term paper! hehe 
 

you did well in creating this could have had more info tho. 
 

my kids are driving me crazy,boy 9 and girl 5,, doing a report for school to kill two birds with one stone, can across your site thanks for the info..Nancy 
 

thanx 4 the info. im doin a speech ooon this topic so its all good! 
 

I have 6 and 3 year old girls. A friend tonight told me my 6 year old is a bully. I admit to sibling rivalry and want to read up on it. 
 

I urgently need advice and support and found this site very resourceful and useful 
 

interested in romulus and remus their quarrel same as cain and abel parallel to my brother 
 

Re: Prevention of sibling rivalry

Hello Kim:
(Other readers, please see below).

My point is that these rivalries ARE preventable - see the sections in my essay on "What Parents Can Do" and on "What The Community Can Do."

The discovery of how to prevent these rivalries was a major breakthrough in human social evolution - namely, the how-to is to *avoid the abuse of power* in its various manifestations. However, during the last ten thousand years many human groups seem to have had great difficulties accepting this concept - which has brought us all sorts of human enmities and rivalries, up to and including the greatest horror of all: Large-scale war.

With best regards,

William Antonio Boyle, Ph.D.
 
 
 

Re: Books on sibling rivalry

Hello Perin:
(Other readers, please see below).

Thank you for your message - 

To begin with, read the section in my essay on "What Parents Can Do" (after several days, come back and read it again).

Also, go to the page on Additional Reading:

https://www.angelfire.com/md/imsystem/sibaread.html

Print it out, and take it with you to your library or bookstore - browse through these books, and see which ones seem to make the most sense to you (we are all different and we process information differently, so some books may seem to "speak" more clearly to you).

With best regards,

William Antonio Boyle, Ph.D.
 
 
 

Dr. Boyle-
Your article was very interesting and quite helpful to me. I am giving a speech in September about sibling rivalries. I was wondering.... you mentioned that you believe that these rivalries are inevitable. What reasons do you have for this belief? Are there certain conditions in which this is not true? Are there any beliefs that may prove the contrary, that these rivalries are preventable? Thank you so much! 
 

Would love to get hold of this book. I have 3 kids aged 5, 3 and 1, and want to avoid such a problem before it manifests itself. 
 

I have found this essay to be useful with my research paper on the same subject. I had absolutely no clue how sibling rivalry formed. After reading the essay, a lot of my questions were answered. 
 

great info...i am in college and this really helped me with my research paper....thanks so much 
 

good job
 
 

I was pleased to visit this site as I just started babysitting for 2 children ages 11 and 12. They are constantly picking on each other. I had mentioned that I needed to do some research in this area and through Raising Kids With Special Needs (aol chat and newsletters) was given this info. Thanks 
 

I thought this page was rather interesting. I'am currently in a high school psychology class and was researching the effects that birth order has on children. I found your information quite useful towards my research.
THANKS sincerely, jennifer
 
 
 

Just looking for advice for my daughter & her oldest child, Katheryn who is turning into a bully with her two younger siblings aged 11yrs & 9 yrs & appears to have no 'guilt about her actions. So far I have only read the first page. Looks interesting. 
 

Amazing!

In some two years, more than 35,000 visits to this small essay on Sibling Rivalry!

If you have any comments that you would like to share with other visitors to this site, you can write them in this Guestbook.

Thank you for your visit!

William Antonio Boyle, Ph.D.