Groom Shopping..
Stardust Goes Husband Hunting For Madhuri!
It's the topic of National Debate. Not-whenSachin Tenulkar is going to score his next century. Not-whenour country will go in for re-elections and who will govern next. Not-will Bill Clinton be impeached. And who who will be the U.S. president int he year 2000 A.D. Not-is there life out there in the universe?
The question that is foremost on everyone's mind across the country (and the community across the world) is-'When Will Madhuri Dixit-The country's Most Beautiful, Most Successful and Most Eligible Actress-Tie The Knot?'
It's tied up the country in 'knots' alright. The million-dollar question about hte martial status of the star with the million-dollar smile.
Each time she visited her family in the U.S.(every year), it set off tremors back home. Especially in the media. Rumors of an 'engagement', a 'bethrothal', a 'secret ceremony' would filter in and it would have everyone in a swirl. Who is it? Tinker, tailor, soldier...? More likely, doctor, software-engineer, businessman, industrialist-WHO?
Except that M.D., gorgeous M.D., would flash her brilliant, enigmatic smile which would say-'WAIT!' But who can wait for the loveliest lady of tinselville to walk down the aisle?
And since Ms Dixit has always been a 'Stardust' baby (every since we first introduced her to the public in 1986 and predicted her superstardom in 1987)-we cats got together and took it upon ourselves to go 'groom shopping' for la Dixit.
Very, very excited-our agents throughout the world did some hard-core sniffing to uncover some eligible men for our Mads. Some single, some attached, but all eligible!
Then with an international list of proposals-we contacted Madhuri who personally shifted through the proposals, answering all of them. Our husband-hunting for Madhuri would surely bear some fruit. After all, we cats were responsible to an extent for our 'discovery'! Mads had a dekko at all the 'proposals' and replied to each one personally (jilted lovers, don't take it to heart).
So read on with bated breath- here comes the bride (to be). Grooms, hold your hearts...

INTERNATIONAL CELEBERTIES
SACHIN TENDULKAR: Indias's Top Criketer and The Best Batsman In The World.
"Our little Master Blaster is India's pride and the world's envy. Good things come in small packages, don't they? But then his deliveries have knocked outt he maiden Anjali for a six. I don't qualify for an 'innings'."

ATAL BIHARI VAJPAYEE: Prime Minister-India
"No Comments."

MICHAEL JACKSON: The 'Thriller' Of the Music World
"He and I can dance together. Maybe he'll out dance me! Now beat it!"

LEONARDO DI CAPRIO: The 'Titanic' Sex-Symbol!
"If I had been sailing with Leo Di Caprio in the Titanic, it would have never struck the iceberg. I'm sure his passion for me would have melted all the icebergs and steamed up the Atlantic! And of course, then he'd be called not Leo but Taurus Di Caprio-my sun-sign!"

LEANDER PAES: Tennis Superstar Anyone?
"It 'paes' (pays) to know this Leander. At least I know his proposal won't be genuine for he 'loves all'- but from my side this 'love game' will always be a deuce!"

TARUN TAHILIANI: Designer Past Compare
"If I accepted Tarun's proposal, one things taken care of-the bridal outfit. This is one trousseau I won't have to pay for. And I love a man with a sense of humor; so I'm sure Tarun will have me in 'stiches'."

DALER MEHNDI: Bhangra Superstar From Punjab
"Daler Mehndi? Na na na na na re.. Tunak tunak. Let's move on to the next one."

ELVIS PRESLEY: King of Rock-Around the Clock
"Something in me tells me that he's still alive and he's out there waiting for me to say yes. So c'mon Elvis. 'Don't Be Cruel' and quickly 'Be My Teddy Bear.' I won't even wait for him to propose. I'd propose to him. In that case I won't have to kiss a frog because he's already a king."

SALMAN RUSHDIE: The Writer-Out of Exile
"He msut stop writing 'Satanic Verses' and compose 'Romantic Verses' instead. That's a better idea!"

BILL CLINTON: President Of the United States Of Amercia
"What can I say about the-man-about-the-White-House when the entire world, his family-right up to his dog Buddy- have had their say about it. Watch out for the Madhuri 'Starr' Report. Perhaps I'll act in Mani Ratnam's next film 'Bill Se'."

ELIGIBLE ACTORS; SINGLE.
AKSHAYE KHANNA: Single, Successful, Sexy
"We've already been in 'Mohabbat' together but he told somebody else, 'Doli Sajake Rakhna.' So I told myself, 'Aa Ab Laut Chalein.'"

AJAY DEVGAN: Dark And Intense
"The only time Ajay will propsoe to me is if I have 'Kajal' in my eyes. Too bad I didn't think of it earlier. Now it's too late."

ELIGIBLE ACTORS (MARRIED):
C'mon, second marriage are 'in' in Tinselville. And they have a right to 'propose', okay.
ANIL KAPOOR: Buddy Of Yore
"But oh...woh toh aur kiski Dil Mein Rehte Hain!"

SUNIL SHETTY Hunk With Spunk
"Too bad, inspite of his various businesses, he's never upto Mischief. Though I believe he's a prankster, his proposal would be during a game of kabadi. I'd say, 'Hu Tu Tu to you too.'"

SHAH RUKH KHAN India's No.1 Star
"Now that's a hero any girl would want to marry, thanks to his devotion and loyalty to his wife. Why hasn't he proposed to me? Because SRK ka Dil Toh Pagal Hai..."

AAMIR KHAN: Brooding Thespain
"It could have been a perfect 'Rishta.' But Aamir was waiting for Indra Kumar to give the go ahead but Indra Kumar had other plans. So I'm not going to sit waiting around for the perfect proposal."

SALMAN KHAN: The 'Body' And Sould Of It
"he already asked me one, 'Hum Aapke Hain Koun.' Then he told me, 'Dil Tera Aashiq' but we're never going to be Saath Saath again.

GOVINDA: Dacing King
"I've always considered him to be 'Hero NO.1'. But I'll only accept his proposal on the condition that I will always be his Heroine No.1."

NANA PATEKAR:
Dark Shadows Are Exciting
"His name may be Nana-too-much-dadagiri. So I am too petrified to accpt Mr Patekar's proposal. Even if it is in Marathi."

AKSHAY KUMAR: Action Jacson And Engagement Expert
"I'll have to think about this one. Probably I'd have to get a No Objection Certificate from all his past, present and future girlfriends!"

CHANDRACUR SINGH: Royalty And Intensity
"'Maachis' proved that his flames burn bright. But I want more than a match light. I need someone who's a torch bearer for me. Till then Master Chandrachur will have to console himself with, 'Tere Mere Sapne.'"

SANJAY DUTT Uh Huh!
"Too late...he's just married to Rhea!"

AJAY JADEJA: The REal Debonair Sportstar
"He insisted on fielding on every 'cover', but I insisted on being on every magazine cover. So I prefer this proposal remains under 'cover'."

RAM GOPAL VERMA: The Whole 'Truth'!
"What a 'Rangeela' man he is! But he'll always ask me for the 'Satya' about my love for him. And then I'll have to say, Ram Gopal 'Kaun?'"

M.F. HUSSAIN: The Artist Whose Muse Is Madhuri
"Ah, no! He's so senior. I respect him a lot. NO comments."

MEL GIBSON: Lethal Weapon
"Those aer the bluest eyes I've seen. But for Mel G to impress me, he can't remain a 'Mad Max'. He has to be a 'mad-about-Madhuri' Max. Because I am the one 'Leathal Weapon' even Mel can't handle."

HARRISON FORD: American Icon And Sexiest Hollywood Sytar Alive
"Why do you think I drive a Ford? Both the Fords are strong, reliable, good-looking and valuable. This is one proposal I'ld accept without any 'Star Wars'. Of course, I wouldn't want to be marooned with him for Six Days Seven Nights in any 'temple of doom.'

PRINCE CHARLES: Royal heir To The British Empire
"First he'd have to prove his acting prowess in the movie called 'The King And I'. Right now he's the (hair) heir apparent but I wouldn't want to tear my hair out worrying about it!"

GEORGE MICHAEL: Pop Idol, Outside
"I always found him cute, but I'm a very put person. I like to romance indoors. And he prefers singing 'outside'. So, no fastlove for me."

MIKE TYSON: World (Ex)Heavywieight Boxing Champ
"No way! He'll lose his temper whenever I wish him 'happy new EAR!'"

BODDY: Soldier Of Hearts
"So kareeb yet so far away. Bobby is already someone else's dream. Dream on. I won't wake up Bobs for this proposal."

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