may 23, 1998
~ 9:15pm ~

i'm gonna show you that a woman can be tough

listening to: janis joplin
album: greatest hits
fave song: all of 'em
feeling: not too bad
weather: cooler than has been

i was going to write last night. i had the best intentions on writing. but, i got so involved in writing brian back, that by the time i finished his letter, it was almost 10, and i had to get up kinda early this morning to go to the florist with my mom, Dena and Jon and jon's mom. we ordered the flowers for the wedding (in which i'm going to be the maid of honor...i feel all warm and fuzzy inside...)

but, yesterday was just an incredibly strange day. i don't know how to describe it, but i'll try...nathanael and i were both distant, and we talked a little bit about it (in letters, of course), and then, he called me about five minutes before janet was supposed to pick me up to go to the bank.

we had the most profound conversation we've ever had, speaking. it blew my mind, and continues to. i will be completely truthful~i don't remember the majority of our conversation, but i know how i felt, and how i feel, still. then, after i got back from the bank, i called him because i wanted to talk to him, and we talked for about two hours, then janet and beka came to pick me up, and we went out to eat at a local chinese restaurant. i had the best time. the three of us haven't hung out "girl's night out" type thing in a really really really long time, and it was great.

then, i came home, wrote to brian, then went to bed.

today, as i said, i went to the florist, and picked out corsages and bouquets for my sister's wedding, and then went to work. when i got back, i found out my dad had taken my guitar in and got it restrung, so i think i may go play it when i get off of
here. or, make that try to play it. *shrugs*

i also went to borders tonight with my parents and i had a blast in there, as always, and when we came out, my mom handed me a bag, and it was the poetry book by jewel~my sister was going to get it for me for my b-day (which is in about two weeks, i think).

i've come up with a creative idea for a thing for nathanael~i'm not really gonna get into it, just because i know he sometimes reads this when he's at ben's, and he's supposed to go play music this weekend. but, i think i'll have fun with it, and it'll give me a chance to be creative.

lately, i've been feeling stifled creativity-wise, and it's driving me crazy. it's like, i have so many ideas and emotions and stuff, and just NO WAY to express them, except in writing. so, we'll see how it comes out.

tomorrow, i'm going to the virginia renessance (sp?) faire with my parents, and i really can't wait. i haven't been to one in a while..so, it should be fun and stuff...

i'm glad that it is a three day weekend. my nerves are shot to who knows what, and i need to recoup, especially since speeches are wednesday and thursday for me, and voting is on friday (beka and i are both running for offices...me for SGA pres, her for class of 99 pres...)

well, in order to not bore you all with my thoughts on nathanael, which is what i would most likely start talking about soon, just coz he's been on my mind all day long, i'm gonna go finish up last minute stuff on here, and then get off of this machine (i don't want to spend as much time as i have been on here...i want to live life away from here somewhat...)

adios...