august 28, 1998
"if you want to make peace, well you gotta find the pain"

he said that i left him, he said that i hurt him, but i'm not sure if he realizes the hurt in my heart towards him right now. i don't hate him, but i want the space and time he wanted before the second letter.

he's not here, and i dont' know what i'd say even if he were.

she's somewhere down the road, probably just sitting around, and i want to talk to her, but...

billions of people in this world, and i think of only those i know. and i don't really even know why, and maybe other people will get the rambling i do, but then there will be the other people who look at me like i'm just totally insane and either way, i don't much care.

i realized why i do these pages. sometimes i say it's to get other people to realize that they aren't alone, but mainly, it's my form of expression, and it's totally for me, and that's okay too.

i wanted to scream. scream at the top of my lungs, just to let someone - anyone - know the anger that i was feeling. i don't understand how anyone that "cared" for you as much as they said they did could take everything and anything that you ever told them and could turn it to sharp daggers. but, they can.

and they will.

* soap suds *

TigerLily