Go, Macarena!by Captain Outrageous
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Title: Go, Macarena!
Warnings: This is Captain Outrageous. I wrote this story. 'nuff
said.
Jim could hear the excited whispers coming from the bullpen as he exited the elevator. Something was up. Judging from the locality of the disturbance, which was centered around his desk, he was taking another trip to the Sandburg Zone. Clutching the files he had just retrieved from Records, he braced himself and walked into the offices of Major Crimes. Sure enough, around his desk was gathered the cream of the Major Crimes Unit. It looked like he had come in at the tail end of the discussion. Money was exchanging hands and judging from the mixed expressions of disbelief and glee, whatever the betting pool was on, it was a hot one. Shaking his head, he stood there listening to the heated debate. Blair: "Okay, so it's set. 5 to 1 says I can do it. Are we agreed?" Rafe: "I don't know... it's like taking candy from a baby." Joel: "Yeah, right. My money's on Blair. I swear he could convince the Pope he wasn't Catholic." Blair: "Thanks for the vote of confidence. I'll try my best. Anyone else?" Brown: "It'll never happen. My money's on Simon refusing." Connor: "I'm sorry Sandy, but I agree with Brown, you'll never get him to do it. My money's on Simon." Blair: "Okay, I think that's everyone. Joel's holding the money. Any objections? No? Good. I have until Simon goes home to make it happen. Until then gentlemen, Megan, it's been nice doing business with you." Jim waited until the crowd moved away before joining his partner. "What was that all about, Chief?" Blair jumped. His voice squeaked a little as he answered. "Jim! Hi. That? That was just a little gentleman's bet, that's all." Jim tapped the folders in his hand. Somehow he didn't think this was the run-of-the-mill bet they were talking about. "Gentleman's bet, huh? What was the bet?" Blair held off answering, moving aside to let Jim get to his chair. Jim sat down and watched as his partner picked up a file off the desk and settled into a chair. Blair started to page through the folder, skimming text but not settling on any one section. After a second he put it down again. "Hey, Earth to Blair, what was the bet?" Blair looked up. "Oh, that. I bet the guys I could get Simon to do the Macarena." Blair put the first file down and picked up another one. Jim rolled his eyes and started laughing. Only Sandburg would make such a bet. "Sandburg, do you know the probability of making that happen? There is nothing in this world that would make Simon do the Macarena in front of his men." "Don't worry. I have it covered. Can you pass me the file on Kaufman? I think I found something while you were down in Records." Jim passed Blair the requested file. "Aren't you worried about the time limit? It's almost 4 o'clock. Simon has a meeting with the mayor in half an hour and then he's gone. That doesn't give you much time." Blair opened the file, flipping through the first couple of pages. "Don't worry, I have that covered too." As if on cue, Simon opened his office door. "Sandburg! In my office, now!" Blair hopped up. Grabbing something out of his backpack, he walked into Simon's office. Jim watched from his desk as Simon sat down on the corner of his desk, motioning Blair to close the door behind him. He resisted the urge to eavesdrop and watched the two. A crowd gathered near his desk. Whatever it was that caused Simon to call Blair into his office must not have been as serious as it first sounded. Instead towering above the observer like he usually did when he wanted make sure that the subject of his ire understood the full import of his misdeeds, Simon remained perched on the corner of his desk as he delivered his speech. Blair looked relaxed as listened to Simon. Seemingly satisfied that whatever he had said had been heard, Simon motioned Blair to leave. Blair stayed where he was and started talking. Jim smiled as he saw Simon's face transform from annoyance to outrage then amazement. Judging from the silence in the room, he and everyone else was holding their collective breath, waiting for Simon to throw Blair out. They were still waiting as Blair burst out with a wild speech, his hands waving mile a minute as they tried to keep up his words. Blair's back was to the room, but judging from Simon's expression, whatever Blair was saying was working. The outrage was gone, replaced by a glazed look that came into most people's expression when dealing with the force of nature they liked to call 'Blair Sandburg'. Finally, a look of pure greed crossed Simon's face before it was concealed. Jim sat up straighter. What was Sandburg doing? Simon was incorruptible. Drug lords had tried to bribe him and had failed. What could Sandburg offer him to cause him to react like that? Before he could tune into the conversation, Simon stood up and moved to the window. Blair stopped him before he could close the blinds. This resulted into another argument, one that Blair evidently won as Simon let go of the cord. Major Crimes watched in amazement as Simon allowed himself to be positioned in front of the window, albeit with his back to the crowd. A movement caught the corner of his eye. Joel had a camcorder trained on the window. Man, he did not want to be Blair or Joel when Simon found out his performance had been taped. Jim focused back on the window. There, framed by the window, was Captain Simon Banks, doing the Macarena before God and man. His movements were surprisingly rhythmic for a man of his size. He went through the motions three times before ending his dance with an intriguing hip swing that caught everyone's attention. Applause rang out along with wolf whistles and laughter. Blair handed Simon a disturbingly familiar envelope before escaping out of the office. Jim waited as Blair worked his way through the crowd, accepting congratulations from everyone. Joel handed Blair his share of the money and the tape. Jim stood up as Blair neared their desk. "In the conference room now, Sandburg." Jim ignored the stunned silence as he stomped out of the bullpen leaving Blair to follow him. He couldn't believe Sandburg had done it. Right in front of him. Opening the door to the conference room, he let Sandburg walk through before closing the door with menacing softness. Sandburg didn't even have the sense to look scared. "I did it Jim; I can't believe I actually did it. Well, I mean, I knew that I could do it, but for a second there, I wasn't sure if he would. But he did it and I did it and ... Jim, aren't you excited?" Jim sat down on the table and folded his arms in front of him, trying to look his most menacing. Blair didn't seem to notice. "Blair, you gave our tickets for tonight's Jags game to Simon so you could win some stupid bet!! I guess you could say I'm excited!! How could you Blair?" "Jim, chill out. It's not what it seems." "I don't know Blair, it seems pretty simple to me. Simon's going to Jags game tonight and we're going to be stuck..." Blair interrupted him. "We are going to be stuck with season passes." He felt his jaw drop. "Season passes? How?" Blair grinned and waved the videotape. "The folks in Major Crimes aren't the only people who would like to see Simon doing the Macarena. I met up with a couple of the players last night and we set up this bet. I get them a tape of Simon doing the Macarena and they give me four season passes." "You mean you traded Simon our game tickets for a video of him doing the Macarena which you're going to trade for four season passes to see the Jags?" "Well, actually I'm only getting two season passes. I knew that Simon wouldn't do it for the two tickets for tonight's game, soooo I convinced the guys to give me two of the season passes up front to bribe him with. I have to either give them back tomorrow OR show them a video of Simon doing the Macarena. Since I have the video, they're giving ME two season passes!! And since you're my partner, WE are going to every game this season!!" Jim shook his head. "What can I say? My partner's a genius. But what are you going to do when Simon finds out about the tape?" Blair grinned and rubbed his hands together. "He won't! The Jags players only get a one-time showing and then it gets erased. I owe Simon that much." Jim shook his head again. James Bond didn't even have the moves Sandburg had. "Right, Sandburg. I believe you." He stood up and walked to the door. He did not want to be around Sandburg when Simon found out about Blair's little shenanigan. Blair followed Jim out, protesting loudly. "I am. What kind of person do you think I am?" Jim stopped and looked at Blair. "Do you really want me to answer that?"
The End. Comments, Criticisms??? Email me at wildeskind@surfree.com. I can take them!!
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