Jim, Don't Eat That Twinkie!by Wildeskind
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Title: Jim, Don't Eat That Twinkie!
Warnings: Insanity alert. Ghostbuster-like tendencies are included.
Dream sequence may be too intense for young readers. Small reference
to action in TsbyBS and a little bit of smarm.
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub: Blair woke up to a low keening noise. Rolling over onto his back, he froze as an eerie glow filled his bedroom, radiating from a ghostly woman floating inches above him. Her long flowing hair drifted around small oval face. Staring into transparent eyes, he felt himself become mesmerized by the desire burning there. Wisps of lacy nightgown teased his blanket-covered form, the whisper light touches stroking him through his light summer blanket. Slowly, her pale ghostly hand brushed sensually against her smiling lips, then drifted down to brush against his hand. The cool/warm feeling of her fingers was unlike any sensation Blair had ever felt before. He groaned as a tingling sensation swept through him. Reaching up to hold her, he cried out as she disappeared. A faint chiming laughter echoed in his ears as he slumped back into the covers. Lying there, disappointed, he jumped as the covers whipped off him. Her soft musical laughter filled the room, as invisible fingers worked their way down his chest. Pausing at the rim of his boxers, the shorts tighten as she wound her ghostly fingers in the cotton. His boxers slid down his hips one delicious inch at a time. With each tug he could feel her licking and kissing the new expanse of delicate skin that was displayed. Back arcing, Blair groaned under her talented administrations. The sound of an obnoxious klaxon woke him from his sensuous dream. Groaning, Blair rolled over, pulling the covers tighter around him. A ridiculously cheerful voice called to him as the covers were yanked off the bed, dumping him onto the hard wooden floor. "Come on Venkman, we have a call. A full-fledged class four floating apparition was seen at the Park View hotel. Time to move it." /Venkman?/ Grabbing for the covers, Blair sat up to look around. Instead of his tiny loft room, he was in a large room with three single beds. All three were empty, but the sheets were messed up, as if the occupants had been roused from a sound sleep. /Like I was./ Getting up, Blair stumbled down the hallway on autopilot. Bumping into a to a brass pole, he grumbled, not really awake. He slid down the pole into a long door-lined hallway. Blair turned around slowly, looking for a way out. Swinging around, he noted that the pole he had slid down was no longer there. Looking down at himself, he saw that the boxers and T-shirt he had been wearing had transformed themselves into a gray jumpsuit complete with heavy boots and black rubber gloves. A low humming sound vibrated through him, its source a heavy weight on his back. In his hands was a device with small mysterious blinking lights connected by a heavy cable to the pack on his back. Blair began walking down the endless hallway, a sense of dread creeping over him, chilling him despite the warmth on his back. A noise behind him caused him to stop and rotate around slowly. He felt his eyes widen in fear and amazement. Down the hall was a hideous green ball of transparent slime. A crackling distorted voice came from his belt. "Venkman, I just spotted the little bugger. He was stuffing his gullet full of food from a cart and then took off through a wall. I've never seen a more disgusting display of gluttony!" The excited voice sounded familiar to Blair. It felt natural to reach down and grab the walkie-talkie and respond. "Uh, Ray, he's here. And I think he heard you. He doesn't look too happy. Are you there, Ray? Spengler? He really doesn't look too happy. He looks like he's going to charge. Guys? He's charging. Guys!!!" Blair froze as the maniacally grinning ball of green slime hurtled through the air towards him. The inconsequential thought passed through his mind that this ghost looked like the little guy on the cover of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It seemed appropriate. Crossing his arms across his face, he slammed his eyes shut as the ectoplasmic creature bowled into him with the force of a tidal wave. /Ugh, I've been slimed!/ Opening his eyes, Blair heard pigeons cooing as world around him came into focus. Beside him were Simon and Jim standing in an outdoor plaza of some kind. Jim held out a candy bar to him. "You did good, Egon. You deserve this." Blair reached out for the treat. Jim's hand yanked it out of reach. Blair felt his mouth begin to water as he stared at the candy bar. Then candy bar changed itself into a golden Twinkie. Blair stared at it in horror. "Jim, remember the Twinkie. Don't eat the Twinkie." The Twinkie began to grow bigger and bigger and bigger in Jim's hand until it was huge. Jim dropped the Twinkie and stepped back. Clouds rolled in, darkening the peaceful plaza. Jim and Simon convulsed as lightening engulfed them, playing across their bodies. In the background, Blair could hear the theme song of "The Highlander". Their forms blurred, bubbling up into two hideously ugly HUGE dogs. Hopping to either end of the Twinkie, they gobbled it up, bits of yellow and white fluff flying everywhere. Blair felt his stomach churn as they finished the Twinkie and then started on each other, forming a circle, the front end of one eating the hind end of the other. "Noooo! You ate the Twinkie. I told you not to eat the Twinkie! How could you eat the Twinkie, Jim?" Blair continued to yell as a hand grabbed his shoulder, roughly shaking him. He heard Jim's voice. "Wake up, Blair. Come on; wake up. It's just a dream." Blair opened his eyes. He was on the couch in the living room. Moonlight filtered in through the balcony doors. Jim was kneeling beside the couch, looking at him with concern. Blair sat up. "Sorry Jim, I was just having a weird dream." "So I heard. Why couldn't I eat the Twinkie?" Blair blurted out, "Because it was a BIG Twinkie." He looked at Jim, whose head was turned, valiantly trying to suppress his laughter. Blair's hurt expression only last a few seconds before the first few chuckles slipped out. Jim let loose and their laughter filled the dark loft. Gasping for air, Blair felt the tension melt away. /It had been a BIG Twinkie/, he thought. Jim echoed his thought outloud. "A big Twinkie, huh? You weren't dreaming about the Ghostbusters, were you?" Blair sat up, swinging his feet to the floor. "Yeah, how did you know?" The images were fading fast, but he did remember the ghosts and shooting the proton pack and sliding down the pole. /I don't think I will ever forget that first ghost!/ "We watched the movie last night, remember? What did you dream about?" Jim got up off the floor and Blair scooted over, making room for him on the couch. Sometime during the night, Jim must have gotten the quilt off Blair's bed and draped it over him. Lifting the edge, Blair offered to share the warmth. Jim grabbed the edge and slid under the quilt so the two men were sitting side by side. Blair shivered slightly at the cold Jim let in and then leaned sleepily against his arm. "Well, you remember the dream Ray had with the floating ghost?" "Uh, the one where she..." Jim's voice trailed off. Blair nodded smugly. "Yeah, that one, only we didn't get too far when this bell went off and I woke up. And then I was chasing Slimer and he slimed me. I remember the scene changing and you and Simon was there, in a park. You offered me a candy bar that turned into a Twinkie. The Twinkie got bigger and bigger and I told you NOT to eat the Twinkie. But you and Simon turned into these really UGLY dogs and started to eat the big Twinkie. You ate it all up and then you ate each other. I was yelling and then ... you woke me up." Blair sighed. /What a strange dream. It couldn't have been totally from the movie. The dogs didn't eat each other in the real world./ Jim's arm came around him and gave him a hug. Blair looked at Jim. "What do you think it means Jim?" "Well, you're the one with the psych minor, but if I had to take a guess, I would say that the first ghost was representative of your life before you met me. It was full of, uh, scientific pursuits but your goal of finding a full Sentinel had been out of reach. Unattainable. Then you met me, which shook things up. Suddenly you were doing things you had never done before, getting in the thick of things, and occasionally getting slimed. The last part of your dream with the giant Twinkie could be representative of the secret of my sentinel abilities. And the secret got bigger and bigger and bigger until finally Simon and I had to eat it up." Blair stared at Jim in amazement. Where had this insight come from? These bursts of intellectualism from Jim always caught Blair off-guard. Sometimes Blair forgot that not all learning came from the classroom. /Of course, Jim had to have learned something about psychoanalysis keeping one step ahead of all the nutcases in his line of work./ "I'd have to agree with you on the two ghosts, Jim. But a Twinkie? I don't know. Why did you and Simon turn into dogs? And why did you eat each other after you ate the Twinkie?" "Well, you know what they say. It's a dog eat dog world, Chief." Blair groaned at the terrible pun. "I can't believe you said that Jim. Dog eat dog world. Simon would never eat you in the real world. You'd taste terrible. All tough and stringy." He tried to duck as Jim's hand came up to cuff him, but he was trapped in the quilt. He was not getting out of his warm nest. Taking the cuff like a man, he snuggled further underneath the quilt. "Come on Jim, you can do better than that. Why would my dream have you and Simon turn into dogs and eat each other?" Blair felt Jim sigh. "Well, what about the two people in the movie who turned into dogs, the Gatekeeper and the Keymaster? They were two people who were essentially in the wrong place at the wrong time. And they turned into dogs. The Ghostbusters were able to defeat the evil Gozer and turned them back into humans. Maybe you're OUR personal Ghostbuster. You're the one who helps us make sense out of this Sentinel thing. Without out you, I definitely would have been dog meat. And I don't think Simon would have accepted anyone else but you." Blair thought about what he said. Did he really think that Blair was that special? Sitting up straight, Blair protested. "But Jim, anyone can do what I do. All you need to know is out there, if you know what to look for. Simon could have done it, if he had known what was happening." "The point is that he didn't and he couldn't. You are the one who is able to explain things from a perspective that Simon and I would have never thought of even if we had known about Sentinels. You balance us out. You are our Ray who sees the better side of people when Simon and I only see the bad side of them. You humanize things and make life alot brighter than if you weren't there. You are our Venkman who, for all his faults, would rise to the occasion with some incredible BS or encouragement despite being scared. You are our Egon, our inventor and wunderkind. Never think that we don't appreciate what you do. Simon would have never offered you that badge if he didn't think that you made legitimate contributions to this team of ours. And don't think that your differences make you less of a person. They add more then they take away." Personally Blair thought of himself more like Gozer the destroyer. But if Jim wanted to think of him as his private Ghostbuster, well, Blair wasn't going to disillusion him. Of course, look at the destruction the Ghostbusters habitually left behind them. That seemed more like him. Blair smiled sleepily, his head nodding. Jim stood up and helped him to lie down, tucking the blanket around him. "Do you think you can get a little more sleep tonight, Chief? We still have a couple of hours before we need to get up." "A couple of hours? What time is it?" Blair peered out from under the covers. "1:00 am, Chief. We're going camping today, remember?" "Oh yeah. Just one thing. Leave the marshmallows home, okay? I REALLY don't want Mr. Stay Puft coming to visit me tomorrow night."
The End. Comments, Criticisms??? Email me at wildeskind@surfree.com. I can take them!!
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