|
Return
to Wildeskind's Joke Archive
Puns-mania
###################################
Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers.
However, all the league records were unfortunately destroyed in a fire.
Thus we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
****************
A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins
that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One
day his supply of the birds ran out, so he had to go out and trap some
more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to
wake them,
he gingerly stepped over them, seagulls in hand. Immediately, he was arrested
and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.
*************
A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies
with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of
a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When
the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the eye
and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?"
*******************
An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man.
After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip
of elk hide and gave it to the chief, instructing him to bite off, chew
and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine
man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and
said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."
********************
A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name
missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the
local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have
taken Leif off my census."
********************
There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin. One slept on
an elk skin and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became
pregnant and the first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the
hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This goes to prove that the squaw of
the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.
|
