Poor Queen Hillary. Most of her appearances are carefully scripted, the visiting subjects duly screened for loyalty before being allowed into the Royal Presence. We also know that Hill and Bill rarely travel into the Red Country, avoiding the hoi polloi, preferring instead to mingle with those closer to their own station on the coasts. In fact, it is quite likely that Mrs. Clinton has NEVER voluntarily associated with the likes of policemen and firemen from vulgar places like Queens and the Bronx. It was only after 911 that she was forced, out of political necessity, to name as "heroes" those she had - in prior decades - denounced as "pigs". Someone slipped up at this venue, bigtime.
Poor Hillary. Who could have imagined the depths of dislike that the commoners hold for Her. Who could have believed that mere rescue personnel could be mad at Her? After all, She was only sympathizing with the downtrodden and shackled proletariat when She finagled to get those FALN terrorists pardoned. They’d only murdered and maimed a couple of male chauvinist white power structure pigs, anyway. No great loss. And that time Her entourage spat on 5 members of a police honor guard during a campaign stop in Albany, NY? Who could do anything but spit at some pigs and an American flag? Symbols of tyranny and capitalist imperialism, as we all know.
Surely, the good Queen can’t be taken to task for behaving like a spoiled and unruly 5-year old at President Bush’s speech to the Nation after 911. After all, it should be Her up there, not that Texas yahoo. Her stony face and apparent boredom during the National Prayer Service, and the way She didn’t sing the National Anthem at Yankee Stadium? How can her Highness be expected to sing that song of racist oppression? She did sing, "We Will Overcome", after all.
Everyone knows that only plebeian hicks fall for all those old platitudes about America, anyway. The intelligensia know better. They’ve taken important university courses like Queer Marxism Throughout History, and Female Empowerment Through Pornography. Some of those booing firemen probably didn’t even go to college, for goodness sakes. How can they be expected to appreciate a great woman like Hillary? The most benevolent, the most compassionate, after all, She IS the smartest woman in the world. We shouldn’t have to keep telling you that. Surely She would do the best for us all, the little people, if those knuckle-draggers out there would just get out of the way and let Her rule as God (not that we believe in Him) intended.
As Queen Hillary the First. Bow down before Her, you who are unworthy. Be grateful. And don’t even think about booing.
