The screen is black and silent. A faint shuffling is heard off-camera, and then a short, poofy-headed girl is seen walking onto the screen. She stops in the middle of the screen and faces the camera. She clasps her hands behind her back, grins, and begins to rock back and forth on the balls of her toes.

Poofy: (grinning) "Hello, everyone. I am Nikki, the creator and narrator of this twisted tale of love, lust, and lies. Most of you are probably wondering what the hell I was smoking when I wrote the last episode. Unlike the main characters of that episode, I don't smoke pot. I don't do drugs in general. Drugs are bad, mmkay? I just wanted to do something totally 'out there' for the much-anticipated season two premiere. Also, the two real-life people that Travis and Demetrius Johns are based on are notorious pot-smokers. As for the cats…well…I've decided that all the animals in Dominica have the ability to speak. And why not? Hell, Passions has a talking doll, a talking angel statue, a witch, and Satan living in someone's basement. I figure that if a kick-ass show like that can have talking inanimate objects and such, mine should be able to have talking, weed-smoking cats. So there.
Well, now that that's all said and done, time to return you to the plot-lines that were left open to my whims of fancy."

Nikki skips off humming the theme to I Dream of Jeannie.
The screen slowly fades in to a view of Down by the Bay restaurant. The scene switches to show the dining room, where there is a big to-do. All the attention of the room seems to be focused on the center table of the restaurant. It is here that we find Dirk and Eliza, still participating in their eating contest. They are both now tearing into the main course. (To refresh your memories: Dirk is having the lobster claws with the unlimited salad bar; Eliza is having the surf and turf.) It is obvious that the salad bar was a cocky but unwise move. Dirk is slowing down in the amount of food he is taking in per second. Eliza is smiling and savouring every bite of her shrimp and steak. Picking up her water glass, she gulps the cold water and licks her lips. She dips the shrimp in garlic butter sauce and seductively sucks the meat off the tail. She flicks the remains onto a growing pile on a plate in front of her. Scattered parts of the crowd cheer; it is her second-to-the-last shrimp. Bets have been placed on the couple; the odds are three to one against Eliza (probably because she's a chick; stupid men! *grin*).

Eliza picks up the last shrimp and dips it in the garlic butter. She waves it in front of Dirk's face and then pops it into her mouth, pulling the tail out and tossing it onto the pile. Her plate is now clean. The crowd erupts into loud cheering.

Eliza: "Where's the waitress?"

Cathleen wades through the crowd, holding a dessert menu.

Cathleen: "How can I help you?"
Eliza: "I'd like to see that dessert menu in your hands, please."
Cathleen hands the menu to Eliza with a flourish; it is obvious where her loyalties lie. Eliza peruses the menu then sighs moodily.

Eliza: "Oh, I can't decide. It all looks so good." Turning to the crowd. "How about I read the desserts to all of you, and you guys help me decide how to end this contest?"

The crowd erupts into cheers, and then falls silent so that Eliza's voice can be heard.

Eliza: (seductively) "First we have a sumptuous banana split sundae: one banana, halved, is surrounded by three, round, cold scoops of vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry ice cream. Topped with fluffy whipped cream, cherries, and…ooh! crunchy nuts. A perfect treat for the whole family."

Eliza casts a glance to Dirk, who is still trying to get all the meat out of his lobster. He returns her gaze, swallows his food, and gives her a wide, but weak grin. Eliza responds with a coy grin of her own, then turns back to the menu.

Eliza: (still seductively) "Next on the menu is a sweet apple cobbler. A thick, flaky crust filled with Down by the Bay's own mixture of apples, cinnamon, honey, and a secret ingredient that makes our cobbler the best by the bay. Thirdly, we have German chocolate cake…ooh! My favourite! Thick, moist chocolate cake glazed with sweet pecan and walnut icing, covered in a creamy caramel sauce." To the crowd "What do you think of that one, guys?"

The crowd cheers heartily, and several patrons shout their recommendations. Dirk is looking a little queasy now, but still grinning weakly. He has finished his lobster, but still has some salad left over to finish off. Eliza continues.

Eliza: "Next on the menu, we have a delicious hot, chocolate fudge brownie, served with two large scoops of hand-made vanilla ice cream. Oozed with hot chocolate sauce and sticky caramel cream…"

Dirk: "Enough! God, you're either gonna make me horny or sick…please, stop. You win."

The restaurant bursts into wild applause, and Eliza stands up and takes a bow. Cathleen emerges from the mob carrying the bill. With a grin, she hands it to Dirk, face down. With a gulp, Dirk lifts the bill off the plate and groans with financial pain—the bill totals over $150.00. The crowd is ushered away, back to their dinners, as Dirk takes out his wallet and thumbs two hundred dollar bills out of the pocket. He places them on the plate.

Dirk: (to Cathleen) "Keep the change, hon."

Cathleen's eyes grow large; she has just made forty-five and some odd dollars in tip from a single customer. She runs back to the kitchens to deposit the amount of the bill into the cash register, then runs off to find Jamie. She spots him at the time-clock, about to punch out. Her tip money in hand, she slows down and walks towards him tentatively.

Cathleen: "Jaime?"
Jaime: "Not you again. What are you gonna spill on me now, coffee or something else that will give me third degree burns?"
Cathleen: "No, actually, I was going to offer you half of the tip I made from the couple who had the eating contest. I know that you had to clean the table and rinse the dishes and all, so I figured that you deserved half the tip I made."

Jaime: (stunned) "Wow, Cathleen, that's…that's really nice." Takes the money "Thanks. You could have made off like a bandit, you know?"
Cathleen: "Yeah, but I'm a firm believer in giving credit where credit is due."
Jaime: "Well, I have to go…um…have a nice night, and thanks again."
Cathleen: "Sure, no problem. Have a nice night yourself."

Jamie walks out the back door, looking back at Cathleen once with an amused look on his face. Cathleen coolly waits until Jaime is out of sight and hearing. Then she runs to the nearest person she sees, which happens to be one of the Mexican dishwashers, and embraces him in a bear hug.

Cathleen: (shrieking happily) "He talked to me! And not one word of it was something angry or spiteful! He's gonna be mine soon, I swear it!"
Dishwasher: (going along with Cat's excitement) "Aye, sí, señorita, él será tu novio en el futuro…aye…loca puta…" *learn Spanish!*

Cathleen then runs off to finish her shift, leaving the poor Mexican alone with his confusion.