Episode Four:

Skip ahead two days. (Yeah, I can do that…I mean, who's writing this thing: you or me? That's what I thought.) It's now Friday. Dirk was actually really turned on by the fact that Eliza could out-eat him, so they ended up back at her place for a fun night of making out and watching cheesy horror films (Eliza's turn-on). They went out together the next night—a picnic on the beach, followed by skinny-dipping. (Hey, they're young…let the kids have their fun.) Of course, unbeknownst to Eliza, Dirk has been "mowing the lawn" at the Cumino mansion. Dirk feels pretty bad about cheating on Eliza, but he figures, 'Hey, we're not even really a couple yet. I'm just playing the field.' Plus, all the extra money Dianne pays him allows Dirk to take Eliza out. (Sudden realization: Dirk is a man-whore! Wow! When did that happen?)
Meanwhile, it was discovered that Jonathan's ankle only suffered a mild sprain, but he still had to stay off of it for the rest of the night. Andrea was very understanding about it and offered to reschedule their date. Jonathan happily complied and promised to call her as soon as he could. While he was out, he began to really organize his campaign for mayor. He and Lizzie organized a rally to be held on Friday, in which he would officially announce his campaign for mayor. He knew that his only competition was Jessicka Walnut, so he had his people call her people and arrange for an impromptu debate to be held the same day as the rally. The townspeople could ask the two candidates questions about their positions on town issues, their personal history, and on anything else they could think of. Jessicka's publicist agreed, and the debate quickly became the biggest thing to hit Dominica since…um…that…really big storm…last…week. Moving on…
Last plot-line for this episode: Bryce and Amy ended up having a huge argument on the way home from Lake Flora about Bryce having a crush on Nydia. To get away from her "oppressive boyfriend" (hey, she's rich—go figure), Allison took Cathleen to the Vineyard for the weekend. Needless to say, Bryce (and Jaime!) loved the freedom from psychotic women. Bryce went clubbing the first night Allison left, and ended up with several phone numbers. One of the girls he met ("Shannon"?) recommended that he see the Demon Brownies' show on Friday night. He agreed, Demon Brownies being his favourite local band. He spent the time between Wednesday and Friday just hanging out around town and occasionally driving into Baltimore to visit some kids he met at summer camp the previous year. Nydia and Paul went right home after the orange soda incident and haven't had much time to hang out. Mostly, they just spent the time working, Nydia at the Cumino mansion and Paul delivering mail packages all over Dominica. He agreed to meet Nydia and Ariel at the concert, and even offered to bring a guy friend for Ariel. The soccer star just laughed and said that she could pimp herself out just fine, thank you.
So that's pretty much it. Kinda predictable, isn't it? Well, screw you! It's late! Read it anyway; we all know you have an addiction to high levels of cheese.

Our episode opens with a lovely view of the Dominica common, a park in the center of the town. Workers are busy adding the final touches to a stage that will, in a half an hour, host the Mayoral Debates. The town's current mayor, Martin O'Malley, will be the "referee" of sorts for this little shin-dig, and some of the local Knights of Columbus will be the musical entertainment both before the debate, and during the half-hour intermission.

The camera shows people spreading out picnic blankets and lawn chairs on the grassy knoll. Many have brought picnic baskets with them, while others are busy carrying food from the local shops back to their spots on the grass. Small children run around towards the playground nearby, and the whole scene is reminiscent of a Fourth of July celebration in a small community.

The camera shoots to a shot inside a trailer behind the main stage. It is here that we find Jessicka, surrounded by her publicity entourage and, of course, David. She is busy reviewing her stances on positions believed to be important to Dominicans: a clean living environment, tourism, and regular trash pick-up. Things are very frantic in the small trailer, needless to say, and everyone is anxious about the debate, except for David, who is aggressively playing Jedi Knight on Jessicka's laptop. (Even if that isn't possible in real life, it's possible now.)

Jessicka is seated in a chair with a stylist attempting to curl her hair. Her publicist, Andrew, is standing over her holding a clipboard and reading questions off of it.

Andrew: "Okay, one more time. What is your stance on hunting in the area surrounding Lake Flora?"
Jessicka: "I'm a strong supporter of hunting as a sport that allows parents to bond with their children. However, I do not believe in letting young children shoot squirrels with BB guns when their families go on picnics."
Andrew: "Good, good."
Jessicka: "God, that is such a lame answer, Andrew. No one's going to buy that. I mean, squirrels are a pain the ass! Hell, if I wasn't running for mayor, I'd get a BB gun and shoot some!"
Andrew: (calmly) "Now, Jessicka, remember—not many people in this town actually hunt. But it's common knowledge that you have a strong affection for guns. You need to downplay this…violent side of you. It's a turn-off to voters."
Jessicka: "Damn the voters! Christ! Like I give a damn about this town! I just need this position to get me into politics. Once I'm mayor, I can slowly work my way into Congress, and then, I will be the first female president of the United States! Then, I can follow my father's dreams, God rest his soul, of making the United States the most powerful Communist country in the world." Tears up "God, I can't wait…someday, Andrew, this planet will be mine."
Andrew: (trying to pretend that he's not shocked) "Um, yeah, Jessicka…I wouldn't mention any of that stuff today…or ever. The residents of Dominica aren't exactly 'comrades' to the cause. Try to pretend that you're normal, at least until you're elected."
Jessicka: "Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm not dense, Andrew. I'm not about to share my plans with the hick residents of this puny town. They're far too complex for Mr. and Mrs. John H. Yokel. Now…more questions!"

Andrew sighs and rolls his eyes, but continues on with the questions as the camera moves out of Jessicka's trailer and into Jonathan's trailer, next door.

The activity in Jonathan's trailer is very low-key. Jon is playing a video game against Lizzie, and is sadly losing miserably. A Police CD is playing "Roxanne" in the background and various members of Jonathan's entourage, including Andrea, are singing along. Jonathan has decided to dress like a guy today, and is wearing a dark-blue dress shirt with a white tee-shirt underneath along with a pair of khakis and black sneakers. As he jerks the game controller around, however, we catch a glimpse of his pink pearl necklace.

A representative of Mayor O'Malley enters through the trailer door, looking slightly frazzled.

Rep: "Mr. King? Fifteen minutes."
Jonathan: (looking up from the game) "Okay, thank you. Tell the mayor that I'll be out to meet with him in a few minutes."

The representative nods and walks out, closing the door behind her. Jonathan returns to his game, only to realize that he is dead.

Jonathan: "God, Lizzie, can't you cut me any slack? Just once I wish you'd let me win at this game."
Lizzie: "Jonathan, it's Super Mario Brothers 3. If you can't beat me in this game, then you are a truly pathetic human being."
Jonathan: "Lizzie, I have a big debate in a few minutes. I am under a considerable amount of pressure. I swear that I am usually not this bad at this game."
Lizzie: (patronizingly) "Sure, Jonny. Whatever you say. Hey, we should probably review what you're going to say up there."

Jonathan takes Lizzie's controller and walks over to the TV. He turns off the Nintendo and takes the game out, then turns of the TV screen. He turns back to Lizzie before replying.

Jonathan: "Why do I need to practice? Everything I say up there is going to be the truth, not some publicity-fabricated answer. I don’t want to be just another politician who gives the answers that he…"

Lizzie coughs grumpily.

Jonathan: "…or she wants the public to hear. And if I have an answer that the people wouldn't like, I'm not going to BS some answer to make it sound like they're the ones who are wrong for feeling that way. I want my politics to be pure, uncorrupted."

Lizzie begins clapping, then gives Jonathan a standing ovation.

Lizzie: "You're so noble, Jonny dear. Saint Jonathan: patron saint of lumberjacks, cross-dressers, and honest politicians."
Jonathan: (sarcastically) "Thanks so much for your support, Lizzie darling."

Lizzie walks over to Jonathan and hugs him. She looks up at his scruffy features and smiles.

Lizzie: "Oh, Jonathan, you know that I'm just kidding around with you. I really love what you're trying to do. Hell, if I believed in corrupt politics and mud-slinging, I'd join Jessicka Walnut's campaign committee."

Jonathan taps her on the nose and smiles.

Jonathan: "Ah, ah, ah. None of that, remember? I refuse to say anything bad about Jessicka, and no one on my committee is allowed to bad-mouth her, no matter how nasty she gets. I'm going to run a clean campaign."
Lizzie: (grudgingly) "Fine. I won't say anything. But if she starts attacking you, I can not guarantee that she won't wake up the next day with a horse's head on her pillow."
Jonathan: (smiling) "You really need to stop making connections with Tom Cumino's friends. It's almost creepy."
Lizzie: "Hey, you brought up his name, not me. Remember that." Looks at her watch "Come on, Jon. It's time to meet the mayor."

Jonathan lets go of Lizzie, and together the pair walks out of the trailer and off-screen.

The view is now on the stage, where a scrawny young man emerges from stage left and crosses to a podium in the center. He taps twice on the microphone and flinches at the sound of feedback. When the noise has stopped, he leans in to speak.

Nerd Guy: "Um…test one-two. Test one-two. Hello, Dominica!"

The crowd enthusiastically cheers in response. He waits until the noise has lowered, before continuing.

Nerd Guy: "Yes, yes. Hello. I am Warren Finkelstein, aide to Mayor O'Malley. I am here today to introduce my boss the mayor and to explain to you all the rules of this debate. First, Jessicka Walnut will be allowed to speak for three minutes, uninterrupted, about whatever she chooses. She may introduce herself to you, tell you about her main issues concerning Dominica, or, if she really wanted, she could give you a synopsis of her favourite television show." Scattered chuckles "Then, Jonathan King will speak uninterrupted for three minutes. After this time, the mayor will open the floor to questions from you, the townspeople. If you have a question for either candidate, please raise your hand, DO NOT JUMP UP AND DOWN OR MAKE ANY KIND OF RUCKUS WHATSOEVER."
He pauses to push his glasses back up his nose and smile brightly at the crowd.
Warren: "Anyone, regardless of age may ask questions, but we ask that parents hear their children's questions first and decide whether or not it should be allowed to be asked. Once a question has been posed, the candidate to whom the question was directed will be allowed to respond for three minutes. Then the other candidate will have a chance to speak. If the question is posed to both candidates, then Ms. Walnut will respond first, because 'Ladies first.' Now, we only have a limited amount of time…"
Mayor O'Malley's voice, from offstage: "And, Warren, you're taking up most of it!"

Warren tries to hide his upset emotions as the crowd laughs and cheers the well-liked mayor.

Mayor O'Malley's voice: "Now, introduce me so we can get this shin-dig a-going! I've got a golf game this afternoon, and I sure as hell don't want to miss it!"
Warren: "Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present to you, Mayor Martin O'Malley."

The crowd applauds loudly as the mayor enters stage left, grinning, waving, and blowing kisses into the wind.

A little bit about Martin O'Malley before I continue. Basically, he's just like the real-life current mayor of Baltimore, except for the fact that he is now the mayor of Dominica. Mayor O'Malley is still a young, likable Irishman with his own Celtic rock band, a cocky attitude, and a great sense of humour. However, this Martin O'Malley has decided to not re-run for mayor of his town. The good mayor is running a campaign of his own—for district representative for the Maryland State Senate. He's a guaranteed shoe-in, due to his popularity in the area and the fact that no one else really wants to run against him. Unofficially, Mayor O'Malley is giving his full support to Jonathan. Officially, since the mayoral race is still so new, the mayor has neither supported Jonathan nor Jessicka more than the other. Good politics, you know. Mayor O'Malley believes that Jessicka is a bit too…eccentric to be a good leader. What with all the talk about Communist dictatorships and all…(Hey, it's a small town. There aren't that many secrets, unless it's to move the story along.) Anyway, his current popularity coupled with the mayor's eventual support, Jonathan is sure to become the next mayor of Dominica.

Warren has now left the stage, and the mayor has taken his place at the center podium.

Mayor: "I am pleased to now introduce a very charming and ambitious young woman, Ms. Jessicka Walnut."

Jessicka enters stage right, wearing a three-piece, grey business suit. Her long, golden-brown locks have been curled into a seducing wave of hair, and her skirt shows more than a bit of leg. The men in the crowd cheer loudly, and a few less-cultured males wolf-whistle enthusiastically. Jessicka smiles demurely and waves, then takes her place behind the podium. She politely shakes hands with the mayor, batting her eyelashes coyly at him. He grins openly, and kisses the top of her hand.
Turning his attention back to the audience, Mayor O'Malley continues.

Mayor: "I am now happy to introduce an upstanding Dominican and a very popular fellow, Mr. Jonathan King."

Jonathan enters stage left, smiling amiably and waving. The ladies of the crowd go nuts, cheering, shrieking, and swooning. He blushes modestly, and blows kisses to a select few, who blush as well. Jonathan then takes his place behind his podium.
The Mayor shakes his hand and winks secretively to him, then turns back to the audience.

Mayor: "Okay, let's get this party started!"

The camera pans the crowd as the people cheer and applaud. Several are holding homemade signs, showing their support for either Jessicka or Jonathan. The camera swings around to the stage once again and shows Jonathan looking out at the crowd and smiling, every now and then saying something to Mayor O'Malley. Finally, the camera rests upon Jessicka, who is looking at the two men out of the corner of her eye. She then shifts her gaze to stage right, behind the curtain, where David is waiting. He holds up a small doll, made of plain white cotton material and wearing a very small string of pink pearls. David grins and makes the doll wave to Jessicka, who smiles in response and kisses the air towards David. He responds likewise. The camera returns to a view of only Jessicka, who is waving to the crowd and smiling with a glimmer of malice gleaming in her eyes as the camera fades to black.