Personal Diary 
Days of My life at UCLA

Journey of Success/life journal!

Friday, December 27, 2002,5:55pm.Today, I was thinking to make a weblog since I have time. I am working in the hospital, it’s not that bad, we’re gonna have a c-section soon. I still don’t know what area I wanna go after I got my MD? I have some thoughts: OB/GYN, emergency medicine, neurology and cardiac surgery. It’s so naïve. But I really don’t know. All I know is that I wanna be a surgeon. But what kind of surgeon? Today I added a second page to my other homepage. I called it “illusion or a focused mind?” , I also noticed that they reduced my account size from 50MG to 20MG. Ok, they’re starting a section. But anesthesia is not here yet. Ok… Just calm before the storm I guess. I gotta go, I will try to write my diary here from now on. 

 Saturday, 18:00, December 28, 2002: I am in the hospital. I am kind of hungry but I want to go to my meal break after seven. So by then half of my shift is over. Tonight, there was this about this “gastroenterologist” who made only 35k per year. I really don’t know what I wanted to be. Still don’t know. But the first step is to get into a decent med school. Mom called earlier this morning. It was around 10:25 when the phone rang. I was still in bed , I picked up the phone and we talked for 5 min. she said there was a problem with their phone that they couldn’t dial international calls! And then I said I have sent you many e-mails why didn’t you respond and she said there was a problem with the internet connection as well. But I remember the last time our phone conversation was end up to an argument and she said if I am giving you my love then I am expecting you to do what I said. We were both mad and after that phone conversation I didn’t call her. I didn’t call her for mother’s day, nor for Yalda’s night. But I sent her e-mail. It’s 18:30 and I am getting hungrier. Oh, well, everybody is giggling and laughing about this good-looking young anesthesia-attending doctor. His name is Dr. M A or some thing like that. He should be from Middle East and Kathy was making joke that if her breasts look right! I asked her questions about OB/GYN and emergency medicine and cardiac surgery and neurology. She said she likes both ER and labor & delivery same. She said if it was up to her she wanted to be “per diem” here and there. She said she only had seen a cardiac surgery once and she loved it. Now I checked the UCLA system under the “department & specialty” and I got some ideas about the different specialties that are possible. I don’t know what’s wrong with me I still haven’t got into medical school yet and now thinking what kind of residency I wanted to go in! That’s crazy. (it’s 8:50 pm) , Kathy just came , she said “room one is complete, as soon as she is pushing I need you back there”. Alex (the USA, which is the unit tech) just walked in. I don’t think we need him tonight, since Monica, the other tech is here and one tech can cover both sides, especially in a night like tonight which is not busy at all. Ok , that’s enough for tonight.

 Sunday: December 29th 2002, 5:12pm, I am sitting with these funny nurses, Nancy, Darryl and JMAC are making these weird sounds of women orgasm and Darryl is doing this “arch” thing while Nancy is saying “ oh yeah, yes, yes..”!! And we’re all giggling and laughing. I don’t know why I am writing this. But it seems very funny. I looked at the picture of the anesthesia who was on last night, to me he is not hot at all. He is very average looking guy. If I can sneak out of here by 10:45 would be great. It was really slow today; I made about maybe 100 charts today. We only have two pt in our floor right now. One has been ruptured for a long time but has an small pelvis with a big baby( a possible c-section case). Another pt in small checkroom is a private pt of Dr. R and she is here for induction of labor (IOL). I am hoping the float secretary shows up on time.

SERVICE CENSUS              PATIENT SERVICE SEARCH

BY DEPARTMENT OR SPECIALTY

SERVICE = DEPARTMENT AND SPECIALTY

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DEPARTMENT OR SPECIALTY

   Monday, December 30th, God this table make me sick. I can't get it to be single space. OK, I did it, now I can go and have breakfast.4:30pm, I am at work. One pt is complete and pushing, c/c/+2. Another pt is coming tomorrow for version / possible c-section. All the sudden it got busy. One inpatient admission and two just got in and another is ER incoming. I talked to Shahin this morning for about an hour/. LDR1 delivered, that was a vacuum delivery. It means they’ve used vacuum to suck the baby’s head out. I checked my grade. I did ok in 2 classes and bad in one.God, it’s like a zoo tonight. For some reason, everybody who walks into this floor they get admitted. They are only 2cm dilated and they are getting admitted. God!!! I can’t believe they’re staying overnight and nothing will happen. Now they are talking about the same Anastasia, M.A. , to me he is not good looking at all. Only 10 pt came during my shift. 8 of them got admitted, however I don’t think any of them will deliver during my shift.

 Wednesday January 1, 2003,8:08 am, I am at work but I can’t keep my eyes open. I was up till 3: 46 last night. I am so tired. I was watching TV till 1:30, then I went to bed and I couldn’t sleep. I listened to the re-run of Holakoee’s show “ the secrets &needs” and then “morning wave” and then “gol-gasht”. Between 4 to 6 I was half-sleep, half-up. I got up at 6 and I was out of the apartment at 6:40. We only have 2 pt right now. I am really hoping to be a slow day today. Yesterday before the new year I did so many things around the house basically I scrubbed from the bathtub to bedroom. I throw away my books and notes, since the grades are out and I don't need them anymore.

 Friday, January 03, 2003, 14:35, I am at work, hopefully getting off by 15:00. I need to go to financial aid office and drop-off some forms. Labor & delivery is a zoo today and luckily I am in 2west covering for Annie. We only had one discharge today and basically I spend most of the day organizing our files here. I had pizza for lunch. I should stop eating junk food. My graduation pictures are ready; I’ll pick them up on Monday. Classes are also starting on Monday.

 Saturday, January 04, 2003,9:00 PM: today I was off but I did lots of house works. I cooked fettuccini Alfredo, I throw away my old clothes + lots of paper junk and then I cut my old jeans and made a ¾ quarter pants out of it. Besides watching TV, listening to radio and music I didn’t do any thing else. Azin called last night, we can’t even carry on a normal conversation anymore. She hanged up in less than 5 minutes from the time she called. I think she is pregnant. If she is not, then for some unknown reason she became moody and sensitive recently. Nicole-my coworker- called today, she wanted me to cover for her today. I didn’t cover for two reason, first of all I already worked 40 hours for this week and I know Judy doesn’t want employees to go overtime. And second I told her if she wanted me to cover let me know early, I don’t like last minutes notice, so this would be a good lesson for her that next time plan ahead and call sooner. Khodaya komakam kon.

 Sunday, January 05, 2003, 16:36, Dr. C. was here, he was saying that there are 3 events in life that are predestine, here is those “predestine events”. Birth, Marriage and death . I don’t know. I talked to Khaleh Nooshin about Caribbean school, she told me that it’s a good idea, graduated in June '02 from St’ George and now he is doing his residency in Michigan in Emergency Medicine. I am just a confused kid. Classes will start tomorrow.

  Monday, 1/13/02, I am sitting in the computer lab, I came here to type my chemistry proposal, I am listening to Moein song named “lahzeh-ha”. And now I am out of space. Meanwhile I am chatting on the Persian chat-room. It’s wrong. I have so much stuff to do. I have a quiz on Wednesday on linguistic, which I haven’t started studying. I am kind of hungry too. I am thinking to get my stuff and go to north campus and start writing my paper there..

 Friday, 01/17/03-Good news: My chemistry proposal got accepted. This time I didn't get any help from anyone and it got accepted right away. They rejected me seven times, the last time I wrote my first proposal. I think my writing skills getting better.

 Hopefully like my 1st chem. Proposal, I'll get some good answers soon… this can't change my decision, since.. If we do not dream, we will not dare. If we do not dare, we will not realize what we have dreamed"

 I got an application from a medical school in Samoa/Australia. The application was mailed and stamped from their office in Australia, how did they get my address and info and interest in medicine, god knows!!! Well, Australia is another option too !.

 1/19/02: it’s 22:22 Sunday night, I am in the hospital, working in labor & delivery unit again. We had three delivery today but all of them went wrong with a complicated problems: first dr. B. pt , she pushed long enough and dr. B I guess wanted to go , so she used vacuum and sucked the poor baby out. It’s more like a business than medical treatment. The second pt was this idiot , she went to those stupid classes for the pregnancy and she didn’t want to use any epidural, so … she pushed and was in pain for 7 hours , then she end up delivering but with hemorrhage and laceration, so for a delivery that could be much simpler we have to call the attending doctor to do the laceration that did take time about 3 hours after she delivered. I did some of my lab report write up. DT the RN has been here since 7 in the morning. Probably she will stay till midnight helping nurses to recover their pts.

 1/24/03, baa S. davaam shod, taghsireh man bood, khaily chert o pert baaresh kardam.eemrooz tavaloodeh shahin-eh , behesh zang zadam. M. dareh ba yeki beh esmeh Sasan Ezdevaj mikoneh. Akseh H. dirooz to "American Bahai" chaap shodeh bood. yeh rob digeh baayad beram sareh kalasam.It's www.anywho.com and you wanna click on the reverse lookup botton and type in the phone number with the area code

 1/26/03: I am at work. I got an starange email from S, the guy that I have been e-mailing for only 2 weeks, it’s 2 pages, here is part of it “man dar hale hazer, dar in marhale zendegim baram moheme ke betonam dokhtari roo peida konam ke betone dar ayande hamsare man bashe. Adam picky yee ham nistam vali in entekhab kheili mohemiye. Ghablan ham behet goftam az ashna ba to kheili khoshalam va to baram kheili jalebi. pas ... Khob ta hala moghadame chidam hala baghiash, pass, hamoon tori ke mitoni bebini man ghasdam az ertebat bar gharar kardan, dosti ya sar garmi ya yad gereftane bishtar dar morede donya, digaran va khodam nist. Banabar in mikham hamin hala bedonam ke to donbale chi hasti va agar hadaf va khaste to motefavete az mane hamin hala bedonam daram chi kar mikonam. Javabe in soalamo bede bad ba kamale meil har shenakkhti ke az khodam daram roo behet midam va har soali ham khasti dar morede man azam koni behet javab midam. In soal ham dobare hamoon soale ghablime taghriban vali in roo ham miporsam, Toye in amrica va canada pesar e irani (ke kheili hashon ham vaghean khoband) ziad hast va dokhtar kam (nemigam badan dokhtara vali be dalile por tarafdar boodaneshon kheili hashoon spoiled dar hadde gheire ghabele ghabool mishan) Hala please tell me what is it about me that makes me so lucky to be able catch your attention.” We’re gonna go for a section, I’ll write later. episiotomy= Surgical incision of the perineum during childbirth to facilitate delivery.

 Sunday, February 09, 2003: I talked to S to not to send anymore emails for one week. It’s taking my time and distract me from my studying. I saw Dr. H. today. She asked me about the medical schools and I told her that I haven’t heard any good news so far. But I am sure , I will hear it soon. The key is not to loose faith and hope and don’t ever give up. There is a c-section in the O.R now. I checked the AAMC website for “Applications for transfer or advanced standing” & “Transfer Policies of Medical Schools” The following link showed up: http://services.aamc.org/tsp_reports/ 

not very good luck if someone is enrolled in international schools. I bought some glossy paper to make the Noruz greeting cards. I think I will do that tomorrow too.

Saturday 2/15/02: I got an "A" in my chemistry midterm. I am going for the oath ceremony on Wednesday. Mom is coming before the end of the February. I don't know the exact date, but I know that she'll be here for Noruz.

Sunday, March 30, 2003,7:34:28 PM: today is Azin’s first anniversary. I sent an email last night and I talked to her today before I came to the hospital, that’s why I missed the bus and I was half an hour late. It has been a long time that I hadn’t write any thing on this page. Today is my last day of the spring break and tomorrow the new quarter begins. I had my last final on Thursday march 20th , I came home for the new year and since then , I worked every day in the hospital. I only had 2 days off and now the new quarter is starting without even recovering from the last quarters stress.. pre-written, pre-defined, pre-destined destiny.. is that true? I am gonna go and call Sean. Mom is at Novin’s house. She called last night after the birthday party of Bayan & Negin that they’ll be in Novin’s house over the weekend. I better go..

Sunday, April 06, 2003, it’s about 20:09 pm, I am at work. I checked my grade , I got 2 A’s and a B from my 3 upper division class and a C+ in a GE! It’s ridiculous. I have already sent emails to the TA and instructor to negotiated and change my grade. But .. she sent me an email that nob, sorry.. well that’s life, shit happens.

5/11/03 9:19:29 PM, Sunday. Today is/was the mother’s day. I am working in the hospital again. I supposed to work from 3 to 11. Elizabeth called me last night to come here at one instead of 3, so she can leave early and take her mom to eat out. There is nothing special here. I’m starving and yawning. I’m gonna eat as soon as I get home. We’re having a c-section now. They started at 18:45 and they’re not out yet.Comedians have dark sides in general.

Desired procedure:

yeh weblog-eh ajib paida kardam, esmesh "oryan" hast: http://zirposh.persianblog.com/ 

E.D.C = expected date of confinement (giving birth)
SAB: Spontaneous Abortion (loosing baby by itself with out any medical assistant), which is counted as “miscarriage”

TAB: Therapeutic Abortion. Loosing the baby during the first or second trimester of the pregnancy with the aid of medical procedures (termination of labor/ abortion )/treatments. Doesn’t count as miscarriage. Can perform the “TAB” until the 23 weeks of pregnancy (2nd trimester).

otolaryngology=E.N.T = ear, nose, throat ( doctor of goosh o halgh o beeni)

REI (OB/GYN) fellowship: Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility

Locks jaw= tetanus (kozaaz) = when you get your jaw’s off! Associated with TMG =vaghti “fak” dar mireh! :- )

“Naegle's rule” = “nay gelz “ =(used for pregnancy wheel and calculation of EDC or due date)= 3 months plus seven days of the last menstrual cycle= states to count back three months from the first day of the last normal menstrual period (LMP) and add seven days. Thus, a LMP of 5-12-00 becomes 2-19-00.

Multi-fetal pregnancy reduction: reduction of the number of multip in a pregnancy.

Gitelman's syndrome : Gitelman's syndrome is a variant of Bartter's syndrome defined as primary renal tubular hypokalemic metabolic acidosis with hypocalcuria. Gitelman in 1966 discovered that some patients with Bartter's syndrome showed a different myriad of symptoms. Gitelman's syndrome presents at a later age and the patients are less likely to be short or to have polyuria-polydipsia. Paediatric cases typically present in the school age period with fatigue, muscle weakness, and symptoms of neuromuscular irritability. There is no racial predisposition or gender preference for either Bartter's or Gitelman's. Gitelman syndrome is a more benign disorder than Bartter's and also more common, but is still a rare disorder. Prognosis for normal growth and neurointellectual development is good. Both are inherited as autosomal recessive traits.

Macrosomia Overly large body. A child with macrosomia has significant overgrowth.

Parvovirus = Any of a group of small viruses that contain DNA in an icosahedral protein shell and cause disease in many vertebrates, especially mammals such as dogs and cattle.= a highly contagious febrile disease of canines and especially dogs that is caused by a parvovirus (genus Parvovirus), is spread especially by contact with infected feces, and is marked by loss of appetite, lethargy, often bloody diarrhea and vomiting, and sometimes death called also parvo

Augmentation: The act or process of augmenting. Augment = To make (something already developed or well under way) greater, as in size, extent, or quantity

gynecoid =Characteristic of a woman. --> Vaginal birth

android = An automaton that is created from biological materials and resembles a (male frame)human. Also called humanoid.--> higher chance for c-section

PIH : Pregnancy-Induced Hypertension (Medical)=preeclampsia = Clampsia

Fetoscope=A type of stethoscope designed for listening to the fetal heartbeat
dope tone= ultra sound (U/S) machine

ECT = electroconvulsive therapy = Administration of electric current to the brain through electrodes placed on the head in order to induce seizure activity in the brain, used in the treatment of certain mental disorders, especially severe depression. Also called electroshock, electroshock therapy.

Hyperemesis = Excessive vomiting

proteinuria = The presence of excessive amounts of protein in the urine.

VBAC : Vaginal Birth After Cesarean birth

"APGAR'S" , A=Activity (Muscle Tone), P= Pulse, G= Grimace (Reflex Irritability), A= Appearance (Skin Color), R= Respiration

APGAR Scoring for Newborns: A score is given for each sign at one minute and five minutes after the birth. If there are problems with the baby an additional score is given at 10 minutes. A score of 7-10 is considered normal, while 4-7 might require some resuscitative measures, and a baby with apgars of 3 and below requires immediate resuscitation.

Laryngoscope : A tubular endoscope that is inserted into the larynx through the mouth and used for observing the interior of the larynx.

myomectomy: (maa-yo-mek-tomee):The surgical removal of a uterine fibroid tumour.
GI consult: Gastrointestinal

Dyslexia= A learning disorder marked by impairment of the ability to recognize and comprehend written words. A term used to describe a condition in which an individual with normal vision is unable to properly interpret written language. Dyslexia is more common in males and is often first recognized as a reading difficulty in the first grade. Individuals can see and recognize letters but are unable to spell and write words. They have no impairment of object or picture identification. Dyslexia is not related to intelligence and in fact several famous scholars were thought to be dyslexic (for example Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison). The exact cause of dyslexia is unknown.

Dyslexia: You can sitll raed it Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. amzanig huh?

E.C.V = External cephalic version (for Breech Presentation at Term , after 36 weeks of gestation)

Subpena (so-pee-naa) =Subpoena: [.sub under + poena punishment] (Law) A writ commanding the attendance in court, as a witness, of the person on whom it is served, under a penalty; the process by which a defendant in equity is commanded to appear and answer the plaintiff's bill. [Written also subpena.]

Thoracentesis tray : [thorax + ? pricking, from ? to prick, stab.] (Surg.) The operation of puncturing the chest wall so as to let out liquids contained in the cavity of the chest.

Prenup: (pre-naap)= Prenuptial agreement, (premarital agreement), Prenups= also called an ante nuptial agreement, premarital agreement, a written contract between two people who are about to marry, setting out the terms of possession of assets, treatment of future earnings, control of the property of each, and potential division if the marriage is later dissolved. These agreements are fairly common if either or both parties have substantial assets, children from a prior marriage, potential inheritances, high incomes, or have been "taken" by a previous spouse.

What is external cephalic version? External cephalic version is a manual method for inverting a baby in the uterus from the outside.

Why would the baby need to be rotated? A baby would need to be turned around if it was in the breech or transverse position near the time it is expected to be born.

What does breech mean? "Breech" refers to when the baby's behind or feet face down toward the cervix (opening of the uterus to the birth canal) instead of its head.

D.N.C. = dilation and curettage

A dilation and curettage (D&C) is an operation performed in hospital, usually under a general anaesthetic, and involves opening the cervix and emptying the uterus by suction. Incomplete miscarriages can result in infection and infertility if left untreated.

When a missed abortion is discovered during a scan, the doctor usually recommends a D&C.

Sunday, July 06, 2003 1:12 PM: I am in the hospital working a double shift today. From 7 am to 11:30 pm. I supposed to only cover evening shift, but they called me last night, there were short with staffing. I was short in my shifts for this week. So I came... It worked out fine for both the hospital and me. Yesterday I went to library and I studied for almost 4 hours. I was really good. Then I did some grocery shopping and I made 2 jars of Persian eggplant preserve (Torshi bademjoon). I also found the site that has the recipes to many common Persian food . they took the recipes from the book of Roza Montazami (Fatima Bahraini) called “ the art of cooking- Honar Ashpazi”.

Friday, January 02, 2004 6:27:29 PM: khaily delam poreh.. S. dareh break up mikoneh. Tagh-sireh khodam ham hast. Rast ham migeh. Migeh keh man na commit mikonam beh relationship o na aghab miram o een joori nemisheh. Migeh yeki ro dareh date mikoneh keh 2 saaleh az eeroon oomadeh o oonja MS az eroon dareh o architect hast . .. muslim o khosh-gel o javoon o he thinks they’re compatible too.. goftam go for it. Vaseh eenkeh man keh khi-yaali keh nadaram keh .. yani nemidoonam daram alaan che kaar mikonam o alaki nemikhaam az roo tanha-ee yaa naa-chari yeh gholi bedam yaa yeh kaari konam keh baadan pashimoon sham. S. ro ham nemidoonam keh dareh bazi mikoneh yaa raas migeh, vali dar har 2 halesh che baazi o che raas behtareh keh bereh baa oon dokhtar khanoom. Chon ageh baazi mikoneh, man dombaleh adam-eh player nistam o ageh raast ham migieh, keh hagh dareh o dalili nadareh keh vaghtesh ro vaseh man talaf koneh.. akharesh ham keh nagah mikonam I don’t wanna end up with a mosalmoon guy.. migan kabootar baa kabootar , baaz baa baaz, konad ham-jens baa ham-jens parvaaz..
Digeh email-haam ro zood zood javab nemideh o digeh baram meseh ghabl nemineviseh. Digeh goodnight email nemifresteh o digeh behem harf-haay mohabat amiz-eh ghabl ro nemigeh.. va man daram kam kam een fekr ro mikonam keh areh shayad dareh vaghean mireh o hameh chi tamoom dareh misheh.. and this make me sad.. yeh ehsaseh badeh khaali boodan mikonam.. nemidoonam chim shodeh, ghablam roosh fekr nemikardam. Vali az vaghti gofteh keh dareh mireh taghribaan tamoomeh modat too fekram hast. Chim shodeh? Yaa khol shodam o yaa aashegh!

Friday, January 16, 2004,4 7:01:44 PM: I broke up with S. haalaa oon dareh bar migardeh o migeh dokhtareh behesh mahal nadadeh o he want me to take him back! I felt like a chewed, spited out tasteless gum! And my response to him is NO! he had his chances and he blew it! I brought my MCAT book to review again. As I was about to study for the test, I notice this online article by “Nariman Namazi” 

who went abroad to an Irish medical school called “Royal College of Surgeons in Ireland.” 

he was recommending it to everyone instead of going to Caribbean. “Nariman Namazi”’s email address is narim7@hotmail.com 

here is the link to the article http://www.iranian.com/Diaspora/2004/January/Med/index.html 

Saturday, January 24, 2004, 19:32:30: Today I wrote my first prescription for a patient who was about to discharge. I came to work not feeling ok. I knew that I was about to catch the cold: red watery eyes, runny congested nose, headache and muscle fatigue were all the symptoms of a common cold. Flu wasn’t an option because I knew my body is immune to flu, since I’ve got the flu shot at the beginning of the flu season. It wasn’t busy today. I thought I would leave 6 hours earlier today. But I did a little math in my head and I decided to stay! I’ve got my multivitamin and aspirin, I went down to cafeteria and had some hot cream of mushroom soup with steamed vegetables and hot tea. I came back up we had a patient who needed to go home and didn’t have the outpatient prescription for her discharge. Doctors were at dinner. The nurse asked me if I know how to write an order of Motrin for her with the dosage and direction. I said say and I wrote my first prescription for a patient at 18:30 today. She went home at 18:45 with my discharge instruction and medication order. Her name was MS Crummie. She was African American. Today based on the symptoms and my diagnosis, I treated myself for a cold and write my first order. Even thought I am still sick, but I feel great. I am glad that I didn’t leave early today so I had a chance to write my order. And yes..If doors are closed, my hopes are still wide open. I wanna be a doctor and I will make it happen. I know I can.. I must , I will make a difference.
Doctor-ee keh doctor-nashodeh, ham darmoom mikoneh o ham nos-kheh mineviseh!
:- )

Friday, January 30, 2004,22:58:18: I am in the hospital as usual. I was covering the night shift last night. We had a patient that was here for her 24 hours urine lab. To check for some PIH lab and for protein/createnine ratio and total protein in her urine. To see if she’s preeclmpsic or not and needs to be admitted in the hospital or can go home.


For some reason they ran the wrong test on her urine. So we had to call them again and have them redo the lab. Then it got busy here and the computer system was slow, so labs weren’t inputted in computer and we had to call them and ask them about the lab results. After patient being here for more than seven hours for a simple lab result that normally should take a couple hours, when I called lab, they gave me some raw data that wasn’t even inputted in the computer. Patient wanted to go home and doctor were waiting for the results. Because normally when labs input raw data in the computer, the system automatically calculate and gives the final values of total protein, index of protein/createnine ratio and all those goodies. So doctors were waiting for those data to be inputted so they can get the calculated answer from the system… raw data had no use for them..


Guess what I did. I looked at those data and I said no big deal, I calculate the total concentration of protein and mass of protein with the index ratio on a piece of paper and I told the resident who was on that “ while you’re waiting for the result to be inputted, I have already calculated the value and it’s 2.61 mg of protein in her urine. So you may wanaa use this, because I don’t know how long will it take for them to input the result”. He looked at me surprisingly and without looking at the paper said, this value is high. Then he talked to his intern. He thanked me and got my calculation sheet from me and that was it. They admit the patient. I was so happy and scared at the same time. Not believing that they admit the patient only based on my calculation, I was so proud that he trusted me with my calculated result and scared at the same time that what happened if I was wrong in my math and my solution of finding the final answer. It would cost a fortune for the patient to be admitted to the hospital and what happen if I was wrong.


Last night I went home very excited, happy and kinds of worry. This was my first order of admission for a patient in life without having an MD. It’s funny, because I wrote my first prescription for a patient on last Sunday. There was some things warm in my heart, something that gave me more hope to follow my passion. A doctor trusted me this time. He trusted my math and he made his decision based on what I told him. I was the one who admit the patient last night and then I went home. Knowing that if that was a wrong admission, it will be cancel today.


Today when I came here, the first thing I checked was that patient’s chart, she was admitted with the diagnosis of PIH / preeclampsi and on the page next to her admission order was my sheet of calculation with my handwriting. I felt so proud and happy. I know that this is just a beginning. I have all kinds of tool that I needed. I only need and acceptation to medical school and an MD to practice. I will get those two as well..


Khaily khosh-halam.


Saturday, January 31, 2004,19:14:29 : Vickie talked to me, she said she did my “employee annual review/evaluation” and she input lots of good stuff for me. She taught I was above the average and she congratulates me for my good service. I should get a meeting with Judy about this soon. It was a change of shift and nurses report just got Finished.

02/15/04: I just took an IQ test, my IQ score was 133.

I just did a little check on the net and here are the links: “LINk 1” 

Monday, June 21, 2004, 6:34:08 PM : it has been a long time that I haven’t write anything on this page. After almost two years, I sent my graduation pic to S. and S got it today. Khosh-esh oomadeh bood. emrooz ask-hayeh tavalod o Noruz ro keh develop shodeh bood az riteaid pharmacy pick up kardam. yeh kami dark boodan vali khodam o maman khodaa ro shokr khoob oftadeh boodim. Baa Roxanna R. harf zadam. Baad az 9 saal. Hich kodoom az bacheh haa raghib-haa va competitors haayeh man medical doctor nasodeh boodan. Elaheh , veterinary Medicine khoondeh bood o Vet doctor shodeh bood . (V.T). Bahareh ham Pezeshki Azaad o Daroo-saazi sara-sari ghabool shodeh bood o rafteh bood daaroo-saazi khoondeh bood. o shod Pharm-D. … rox goft taa 2-3 maah baaz az raftan-eh man depressed shodeh bood o har chi zang mizadeh maman eena chizi nemigoftan. Roxi goft shadi, hich kodoom az bach-eh-haayeh class doctor nashodan , beh joz to keh shagerd-avaleh class boodi. Goftam manam hanooz nashodam o tooyeh process-esh hastam. ee-shalah beh zoodi. .. yadeh harf-eh maman oftadam keh migoftan keh shadi to momkeneh shagerd avaleh dabirestan o koleh Nahiyeh shodeh bashi vali baa een akhalagh o eena .. too zendegi moshkel paydaa mikoni, maman beh man migoftan :” shaadi, shagerd aval-eh class, shaagerd aval-eh zendegi nist.” Va man emrooz migam: “ shagerd avaleh class, shagerd aval-eh zendegi nist, vali “mitooneh” basheh o oonja tooyeh zendegi ham mitooneh shagerd aval besheh”. S. baraa tavalodam yeh parcel post kardeh vali hanooz naresideh, 3 dafeh baa post office check kardam o naresideh bood. mogheh change of shift hast. S. aks ro dideh bood o excited bood. goft gozashteh oono tooyeh wallet-esh. Shahin o azin o grandma in Friday , june 25th miyaan LA keh maman ro bebinan. Dirooz, Sunday june 20th father’s day bood. 3 taa card jomeh shab keh miyoomadam khooneh kharidam keh bacheh haa o maman o grandma toosh benevisan tosh. Aks-haay emrooz ro ham bayad reprint konam o befrestam vaseh een o oon. S. ham migeh keh aks mikhaad. Tavalodeh 26 saalegim, hafteh pish Monday june 14th bood. az Friday june 1th taa Tuesday keh raftam sareh kaar ro vacation boodam. hamisheh tavalodam june 15th hast ,vali emsal chon leap year bood o kabiseh, tavalodam yeh rooz aghab tar bood. chon feb 29 days bood o rooz-haayeh solar year ro yeh rooz aghab mikeshid. Hameh chi bood . hanooz 5 dagheh beh saat 7 o change of shift moondeh va man beh harf-eh maman o khodam va yeh ayandeh fekr mikonam keh baa dast-haa o eradeh-yeh man o komak-eh khodaa sakhteh misheh o beh khodam migam, Areh shadi, shagerd avaleh class, shagerd aval-eh zendegi nist, vali “mitooneh” basheh. En-shaa-lah.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004, 4:53:30 PM: alaan az tooyeh hospital keh evening shift ro coverage midam tooyeh 2 west/ postpartum hastam. I am almost done with the every day ordinary task here o halaa MCAT review book-am ro ovordam keh bekhoonam. I have been reading/ studying for the MCAT for the past four years. I started thinking about study program for the MCAT on August 2000 when I was still studying at Santa Monica College. I was an honor student and part of the dean’s list. I worked and save money and on October 2001 I enrolled for the Kaplan review course. Hanooz ham keh baad az een hameh modat daram vaseh MCAT mikhoonam, tazeh mifah-mam keh oon dars khoondan-eh man om-ghi naboodeh, halaa keh daram mikhoonam mibinam there are so many new things that now I know that I didn’t know!.. and there are still many to learn. It reminds me of a poem by Avicenna (boo-Ali Sina), the famous Persian doctor and scientist, saying that “ taa beh daan jaa resid , daanesh-eh man, keh be-daanam hami keh naa-daa-nam”.. Now I know that I still don’t know so many things. Maman jaan migoftan when she was in medical school and later during her residency rotation, she used to have an instructor telling her “ Nasrin, mariz ketaab nakhoondeh” va “ mariz baa oon alaa-mat-haa-ee keh to, tooyeh ketab khoondi nemiyaad, baa-yad to , oon ghadr baahoosh bashi keh az rooyeh symptom-haa-ee keh mideh befahmi keh mariz chesh hast “ ..Meaning that your patient hasn’t read your medical text books, so when pt comes, it may not and will not follow that exact symptoms of the disease that was mentioned in the book and you’ve learned. Halaa man beh khodam migam, “ shaadi, een kasi keh question-haay MCAT ro mineviseh , een ketab-haayeh to ro nakhoondeh, baayad oon ghadeh a-migh o in-depth bekhooni o baa tamoom-eh subject-haa o ma-faa-him een ghadeh aa-sh-naa o maleke-yeh zeh-net baasheh keh soAl ro har joori keh dadan o che bi-rab-t o che baa-rab-t ham keh bood betooni baa knowledge-eh khoodet doros o sahih o on time o beh mogheh javab-eh doros bedi. Areh Shadi, oon kasi keh soAl-eh MCAT ro mineviseh , ketabeh to ro nakhoondeh, vali een ghadeh amigh o por bekhoon keh to betooni fekr-eh ta-raah-eh soAl ro doros bekhooni o javabeh doros bedi. Shadi boro jeloo va talash kon. Shadi boro. Khodaa posht o panaahet hast. En-shaa-lah . I must, I can, I will make a difference.

Monday, November 15, 2004,4:25:43 PM: here is the link A Persian Girl In California (APGIC) 

Tuesday, December 14, 2004 22:04:50: I got accepted to St. George’s University school of medicine on Tuesday December 7th 2004, I had a really bad cold for all that weekend. I ended up calling sick for the Monday December 6th. I wasn’t feeling better on the 7th, but I thought I can’t skip two days from my job. Before I left home I thought I better call SGU and see if any thing new .. and they said my file was just arrived and my file was on top of the stack which was back from admission committee. Since last week I have applied for loans and tried to defer my current undergraduate loan. By Dr. Shlomo Raz, UCLA department of urology: Why I entered Medicine : I am by nature a problem-solver. I don't like to look at the future---I like to create the future . my philosophy for the patient care is to Treat every patient like a member of my own family. I believe in putting my heart out to help my patients.

Monday, January 17, 2005,4:55:33 PM: it’s a good day. I am working in labor and delivery and we have one patient who has been admitted. I talked to Bahareh, Saadi, Shervin, mom. Shervin came home last night. He said that he quit his job at the gas station. I am happy for him. He made the right decision. He said that he is moving into the apartment today. He came today and said that his current landlord didn’t have the time to move his stuff today and he will help him to move out tomorrow. I have already taken all my stuff out of the room for him. So tomorrow when he brings his stuff in, he has his own room. Mom and me will share the bigger room. Tonight or tomorrow I need to put my stuff in the upper drawers. That won’t be bad. Shervin said the apartment is too small for three people to live in there. I said, that would be only you and mom and I think a two-bedroom apartment would be enough for two people. I just need to get rid off some of the junks before I go. I have been talking to Saadi for more than two years now. January 13th (4 days ago) was our second anniversary. I don’t know that anniversary would be the right word or not, because we haven’t been together .We only saw each other once and for a short period of time. But we have been writing/talking for two years now. I asked Shervin about his opinion about Saadi. He said that if you love him go for him. I said that love/interest is not enough, different religion, different level of education and income later on will be issues/problem in marriage. Sami (Somayeh), Saadi’s sister came back from Iran yesterday, She and Saadi’s mom left on Christmas day and Saadi went to pick her up from the airport yesterday. He cooked ghormeh sabzi from scratch. He bought fresh meat and fresh greens for the stew. He also roasted/baked chicken in the oven for her. I am leaving Los Angeles to Grenada on February 3rd. I will start medical school on February 8th. White coat ceremony is also on that date. I will miss all my family and friends. But I promised my family and Saadi to send them pictures from the white coat ceremony. I talked to the unit director Debbie and the head nurse regarding my two weeks notice. They told me that I need to quit my job as a career position and then switch to per diem employee. I need to talk to people in the human resources department tomorrow. I have a good feeling about everything; me, going to Grenada, Shervin is moving back to the apartment and Mom to watch and take care of Shervin. I talked to mom today and I told her that I want to get her a debit card from my bank account so she can spend money from my account and pay for the grocery and house expenses from my account and not to be worried about financial expenses. But she said no. I hope that everything will be fine. Today is Martin Luther King’s day and is a national holiday. Sasan is admitted to the hospital since Saturday. He has some sorts of cramping and GI problems. Doctors are waiting for his lab results to come back. Shervin is moving into the apartment tomorrow. I hope that this time he can go to school and get financial aid. I wish him all the best. May god protect and save all of us. Saadi said that Alireza is coming to his place tonight. They are going to talk about their test that are going to take in February, he asked me if I can to go on my break late (after 8 = 11 pm Toronto’s time), but I am hungry and because of the MLK day, cafeteria closes at 8, so I don’t know if I can talk to him tonight or not.

Monday, June 13, 2005, 11:40:01 AM: I am back from Grenada, I came back on June 5th and I started to work in the hospital on Wednesday June 8th. I switched one of my shifts with Monica (she asked me to do it) and now I am off on my birthday, Wednesday June 15th. I am checking online for the schools that I have transfer opportunity as an “advance standing student”.

Thursday, June 16, 2005 , 12:52:42 PM: I am in labor and delivery, I supposed to work in 2West today but Annie called in family illness for today and tomorrow , so I guess I have to work in labor and delivery tomorrow too. I had my 27th birthday last night. Shahin, Azin, Nooshin & Arash, Bahareh Called and we called dad twice. He had his bypass surgery done on Saturday and they are going to release him from the hospital tomorrow Friday or on Saturday. Today when I get home we are going to cut the cake and open the gifts, because last night, the birthday party started at 7:30 and we had phone calls one after another until about 12:30 , so it was too late and I wanted to open the gifts today and enjoy more from the birthday. I was looking on transfer application today. So far I have found only one school that suits my situation and that is Wayne school of medicine in Michigan. I have to call tomorrow and get more information about the transfer.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005,8:28:56 AM: I am here in the hospital, covering a double shift from 7 am to 11 pm. This is my last day at work before I go back to Medical School. I came back to Los Angeles on June 5th and my return ticket is on August 7th. I started covering from June 8th until August 3rd. Thank god, I had a good summer, although I worked most of it and didn’t have much time to do side/fun stuff, but I am glad that I was able to cover (thank God and knock on wood). As far as S., I don’t know what I am going to do. I know that we might be very similar as far as values, culture, like and dislikes and attitude, but we have different religions, different life styles and later on different level of education, income and social ranking which I always had in my mind as some standard to use when I am choosing a person to get marry to. In the other hand we have been talking for the past three years and there are strong attachments, interests, emotions and feelings between us, at the same time I am thinking if we are not made for each other, we better start looking around and meet new people, sticking to each other just because we have known each other for 3 years is not logical and I think it’s childish. May god help both of us and guide us to do what is the best for both of us. Amen.

09/02/2005: Friday, 8:42 AM , SGU study room in super dorm one , I need to and I want to get all A's in my classes this term, God help me to do it. Amen.

Thursday, July 06, 2006, 8:02:44 PM : I am in hospital covering a 12 hours shift from 1900 to 0700. I came back on June 25th and I started to work on the 29th. I broke up with Saadi after 4 years of friendship and now I am just focusing on my goals and my future. I knew that with him , our friendship won’t go anywhere. Before I had some doubt , but now I am more certain that we should cut it off. And that’s what we’re doing now. It is so funny because I also wrote my diary on January 13th 2003, the day that I chatted with Saadi in the chat room for the first time. And I wrote it on the same day that “ it was wrong!”. I was just reading my previous writing on this page and thank god I had a big satisfactory smile on my face. Today Kathy the nurse saw me and said , “I can’t believe you keep coming back to us” I told her “because I need money” and she said “ no because you love us” and I said “that’s true, I love working here” thank god for all the good thing you have given me and you will give me. Today we had a head and neck surgeon under AKA name and she said that she didn’t see me that last time she came here. (I knew this pt from one of her previous visits) And I told her that I am covering every day (thank god) so I don’t know if I was in L&D when she came or if I was in the other side. she said “oh, wow it must have been hard working so many hours” and I said “no, it help me save some money for school”, she asked what are you studying and I said medicine and then she didn’t say anything. I felt/feel good. I am a medical student and I am so thankful from God. Thank god for helping me. We have a pt in the OR getting a repeat C-section. It’s a busy night.

Friday, July 07, 2006, 4:36:26 AM : I am reading my online diary. It started in 2002 and I can see the changes in my life, my relationship and friendship with people, my family and my friends. It is interesting to me, as I read , I see some parts I asked questions that back then I didn’t know the answer and it took me a couple of years for some of them to get the answer. So now as I read my diary , I can answer the questions in my head. Just like if you have watched a movie once and now you’re watching it again for the second time, you are already know the end , but this time you pay more attentions to details. I emailed Saadi to send me a copy all the emails we had during the past 4 years. I am covering a 12 hour night shift. It has been busy all night. I need to do my face today after I get home and sleep. Bahareh called and probably we are going out today (Friday), I told her I will give her a call when I wake up in the afternoon and then we’ll do something. But first I need to get home and get some sleep.

Sunday, December 31, 2006,9:12:54 PM : I am back for the holiday. Working full time. I am working tonight from 3pm to 11pm but I am hoping to leave 15 min early to catch the bus and hopefully get home on time for the new year. I am also working tomorrow from 7 am to 7 pm. Babak emailed/phoned for files and I told him that I give him the files on Tuesday after I get off from work. Now it’s 9:35 pm and I am thinking about the plans that I want to do in this coming 2007 year. I am doing my best and I ask god to give me “Ta-eed” and “to-figh” in my plan. About transferring into a U.S. medical school and hopefully get my degree from American medical school. I have a couple of choices and I ask god to guide me and help me in my plan . God has been always there for me. He carried me in the time that I couldn’t go any further. God I want to thank you for helping me and carrying me along the way. Be with and guide me through and help me as you always did. I always thought 2007 is so far , but now it’s here just a couple of hours away. Things that I need to do in 2007: 1) transfer into a U.S. Medical school (en-sha-lah) 2) taking Kaplan for the USMLE step 1 board 3) taking the USMLE step 1 board 4) start my clinical rotation in U.S. and I ask god to be with me as he was with me always. Well new years is coming and I wish health, wealth, happiness and success for everyone in the family. May god protect us all. Happy New Year 2007.

Cathartic = of or pertaining to catharsis= a purgative. =Also, ca·thar·ti·cal. evacuating the bowels; purgative. (Kathy said she had “cathartic effect” on her patients, as soon as pt saw her, she poop the baby out! Like a cleansing effect!! And I said, it’s not cathartic effect, you have good spirit.

Monday, January 01, 2007,6:47:15 PM : Today was the first day of the new year. Last night I got home at 11:10 pm , showered, talked to shawn. We had egg plant stew with Saffraan rice and tea. I was up until 1:30 AM , watching TV. May this year brings happiness and health and success to everyone in the family. this morning I covered from 7 am to 7 pm . B. and S. both emailed. It’s new year. May god protect us and guide us all.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007, 10:30:24 AM : I am here in 2 west. Covering day shift. I am working on my transfer application. God help me. Doctor joon bekhoon o jeloo beroo. I am supposed to see B. today to give him the files. I am getting off at 3 and we’re supposed to meet at 3:15.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007, 9:56:58 AM: Me and S. split/broke up after almost 5 years. I missed my rotation and now I am just focusing on future. I will buildup every thing again. God help me to find myself and do well.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007,9:15:53 AM: I am in biomedical library in UCLA. I just filled out a letter to extend my ECFMG time period. I am cancelling my test date to give myself more time to study and prepare for the exam. I will miss one rotation and have to try hard to graduate on time. god give me strength to move forward and do well. God please be with me. “dobareh mi-saa-zam.. hameh chiz ro az no.. “.. I will start again, another start, another beginning.. I will try again and I will do well. God please be with me.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007, 7:13:21 PM , I am studying in the library. Studying for the exam. life is an exam by itself. I cancelled my test today. I am studying. A neurosurgeon asked me out for a date. he has a very similar background as me, but we have different religions . I need to study for now and just focus on my exam. god help me .. God .. God.. can you hear me? I am sure you do.. so please help me to do well on my exam.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007, 9:00:44 AM, I am in biomedical library. Just check my mail and responds from iranianpersonals.com another physician also mailed me. I need to get physiology done today. not much time left. They approved my deferment request for my loans. Thank god.

Thursday, August 16, 2007, 8:52:23 AM, I am in the biomedical library. I want to and I have to and god willing I will do well on my exam. god please help me to do it. I checked the web site yesterday about the “F” family. To me they are the best sample of not only survival but also over-achievement. They came with nothing and they all either became physicians or married a physician/ “koloft family”. They got the best residencies in best university hospitals. God help me with my life too. Help me to do well and do my best. Because “anything less than your best means cheating”. God grand me the power and help me and let me go as fast as I can and be ahead of everyone else.

Monday, August 27, 2007, 3:27:08 PM : I am here in biomedical library. Saeed, Saadi.. is gone from my life. He is gone for good. I need to make my future. I need to study hard to do well. God please help me out and give me more strength to do it. “life does not put things in front of you that you are unable to handle”. I signed up for my test date and I will take it. god please be with me, I know you are . I can feel that you’re watching me from the top as I am typing this. bekhoon doktor joon, bekhoon doktor joon.

Monday, August 27, 2007, 6:03:08 PM, This is what is S, a 37-year-old neurosurgeon wrote to me for my test, on Mon, Aug 20, 2007 3:46PM, Subject: You WILL do well ...no worries ! I am confident that you will do well ....have no worries and do the best that you can, and if it takes 10 times to get it done, so be it ...just say to yourself : "I will get it done , no matter what it takes" ... Good luck Shahram

Sunday, September 02, 2007, 10:50:20 AM, Studying and practicing Medicine and doing surgery have been always fascinating and interesting to me. I am interested in study of neuroscience, brain function and neurosurgery as well as women's health care and study of female reproductive system, treatment of infertility and IVF. On my leisure time, I enjoy going to the beach, especially Santa Monica pier and third street promenade with family and friends. I enjoy walking on Westwood Boulevard or going to Starbucks and have coffee on my leisure/spare time. I love cooking, reading and jogging. These little things make me happy & thankful from God for having them.

Thursday, May 15, 2008:I haven’t written on this page for a long time, the last time I wrote on this page, I haven’t started my clinical rotation. Now I am writing this from England AKA United Kingdom (UK). I am here for my OB/GYN rotation for 7 weeks. I have already finished 5 weeks of it and I am going back home in less than 2 weeks. I finished surgery and internal medicine rotation in Northern California before coming here. . There have been so many things going on since then. I realized I really wanna do surgery and be a surgeon. I really liked sugary. It was only after 2 weeks of start of surgery rotation that I noticed that I wanted to do it. I like plastic surgery. Meanwhile family was trying to hook me up with a couple of people.. I want to get into surgery residency. I need to get into surgery residency first, figure out where I am going to do my 5 years of residency and then settle down.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008,6:31:09 PM (Pacific time), 9:31:09 PM (Eastern time): I am in Miami, Florida. Feel so lonely.. I am studying for my exams. I have my exams coming up soon. Life by itself is an exam. God give me more power to do well on my exams. .. This is the time I need you. I know you hear me… so help me my dear God…

Wednesday, October 15, 2008, 5:15:01 PM, 17:15:08 : I am in Miami, Florida. Tomorrow is my last day of pediatric surgery elective rotation in Miami Children’s Hospital. I am flying back home on Friday morning. I am studying. God help me. So many things have happened.

Thursday, October 16, 2008, 6:20:01 PM: today was my last day of rotation in Miami Florida. I am going home tomorrow. Shadi keep your spirit up.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008, 8:23:14 PM : I am doing my elective in General Surgery, Trauma Team. I am studying for my exam. I cancelled my Surgery rotation at San Joaquin General Hospital in French Camp. I needed more time to study for the test. I rescheduled my Surgery Residency interview at New York to January. I need to do well in the test first. Shadi , Doktor joon bekhoon bekhoon and trust in yourself... I wanna be a SURGEON. God help me and be with me. I am going back to study.. “To follow without halt one aim, this is the secrete of success. “.. Shadi faghat bekhoon.. faghat bekhoon o boro Jelo…

Saturday, November 08, 2008, 8:58:43 AM , I was on-call on Friday (October 31st 2008, Halloween day) and post-call on Saturday (November 1st 2008) for a total of 30 hours of marathons of being on-call. It was a busy day, I had my scrub on and I was walking in the hallway of the hospital to go to emergency room for another trauma, I saw an old volunteer lady in the light blue uniform passing by, I said hi and When I asked an old volunteer lady “how are you?” she looked at me and replied: “Delighted to see a LADY SURGEON” … hopefully one day.. I will become one.. God willing. It just gave me a great feeling and hope of possibilities.. and I am telling myself hopefully God willing one day I will be a good surgeon… I am studying for my exam and doing questions.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008,5:22:44 PM, I am studying for USMLE Step 2CK. Someone stole my “USMLE Step 2CK Kaplan Internal Medicine book” on Friday when I was doing my surgery rotation with trauma team (surgical trauma). I had a patient who was on “contact isolation”, so I left my book and my patient progress notes outside the patient’s room on the counter. I went inside to change the “wound Vac”, when I came out, the book was gone and my daily surgery progress notes was there. I asked everyone and every possible place, couldn’t find it. Thank god I had that book on PDF file, so I went and reprint it again, but all my personal notes that I wrote in the book was gone. I had to reschedule the exam date, my percentage in quiz bank need to be a lot more than this. I am studying more and more... This means I will be graduating later than the match date. For this reason, I had to cancel 11 interviews that I got for General Surgery and OB/GYN, including the interview for General Surgery Residency in San Joaquin General Hospital in French Camp in California and one interview for OB/GYN in a Yale University affiliated hospital (Bridgeport Hospital in Connecticut). I am focusing on the exam and studying for now and one day, hopefully I will be a great experienced “Surgeon”. (God willing).

Sunday, November 30, 2008, 10:06:46 PM: God let me forget the past, help me to move on and just focus on the future and my USMLE STEP 2CK exam. I am writing this from Bakersfield, I came back today. I went to LA for thanksgiving holiday. I left on Wednesday morning and came back this afternoon. I needed that break, to refresh and get more energy. God be with me and help me. This is the time that I need to put all my energy on my exam. I have to be strong and focus. God help me to do well on the exam. Khodayaa, this is the time that I need you. Carry me with your magic wings, give me more power to fly again and pass this stage, to fly as high as I can, to the highest points, to the peak. God carry me with you magic wings and take me there. God can you hear me? I am sure you do. You’re watching me. Let me do well on my USME STEP 2CK exam. God.. Let me be the surgeon that I always wanted to be. Amin… oh, my dear god…your child is calling you, please hear and answer her prayers ...Shadi.

Monday, December 01, 2008, 6:19:33 PM, I am studying for my exam. My request for OB rotation to finish one week sooner was approved. Thank god. I am studying for my exam and changing my MindSet to be focus and positive. I am telling myself, if there is a will, there is a way. En-shallah. Shadi SURGN2B. God willing.

Shadi SURGN2B. God willing...Surgeon Shadi Rezai, God willing...

Wednesday, February 04, 2009, 10:17:00 AM “O’ Lord, let me dedicate my life today, to care for those who come my way, let me touch each one, with healing hands and the gentle art , for which I stand , and tonight, O’ let me rest in peace if helped just one”. Shadi Rezai

Tuesday, February 10, 2009, 10:10:07 AM : Shadi, General Surgery Resident (En-Shaa-Laah), Shadi, Surgical Resident (En-Shaa-Laah)… Ja-raah joon, bekhoon bekhoon… Shadi , Bekhoon Bekhoon..Shadi Jaan Movafagh Baashid.

Thursday, March 12, 2009, 11:23:49 AM, God, help me do well in my step 2CK. Let me get a high score in step 2CK. Let me be the Surgeon that I always wanted to be. Become the surgeon you are. God please help me to become the surgeon that I always wanted to be. Thank you my dear God. Shadi Jaan Movafagh Bashid. Doktor Joon, Bekhoon Bekhoon…

Thursday, July 09, 2009, 12:14:36 PM: studying for my exam. Life is a series of exam, full of challenges.. Enjoy the moments and use the maximum best out of them.

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