Friendly fire isn’t.
-Askani Proverb

What is, is.
-Askani Proverb

The why of any situation is secondary to the situation itself.
-Askani Proverb

Whatever can go wrong, will.
-Mother Askani

I take orders from only one person, me!
-Han Solo

Hell hath no fury like a mutant whose vacation plans have been put on hold.
-Beast, about Wolverine

Some fruitloop waving around the 2nd law of Thermodynamics like its a signed confession from God isn’t going to convince me evolution is a hoax.
-Vermilion

Most Internet flame wars are started by cats who did not get what they wanted for supper.
-Judy Heim

If you don’t like my driving, get off the sidewalk.
-Cyclops

Ya have to tell me? The man has worked his whole life to make intimidation a science... Ah think he’s got it now. Ah think his hobby is running poor, young, unsuspectin’ mutants into the ground.
-Cannonball, about Cable

Oh, I don’t know about that. You could stand there and look mean and present quite an intimidating front.
-Dana Hawkes, about Cable

But there’s nothing better for bonding than some good, old-fashioned villain-bashing.
-Pete Wisdom

Of course. Marry into the Summers family, get instant enemies, just add water.
-Samantha Wheeler

X-Force: known and feared by turf growers everywhere.
-Deadpool

We’re going to have a mutant training session in the gym? Like, we’re gonna practice fighting sentient monster basketballs from the fifth dimension?
-Jubilee

I gotta admit I was a little ticked at you guys before--But we’re way past that now.
-Nightwing

How else am I to get you to treat me like a man of weight and substance unless I act as morally perturbed and angst-ridden as everyone else in this room?
-Beast

Follow me, everyone--I know the way! I met a guard who was nice enough to tell me where Magneto’s command center is. Then I was nice and helped him pick up his teeth.
-Beast

I exhausted my supply of hope about two o’clock this morning. All that’s left is anger, frustration, and an overwhelming desire to cram 355 lbs. of blue fur down Stryfe’s throat!
-Beast

On Real Evil
Beast: Bobby, we seem to have encountered an opponent far more dangerous then Magneto, more devious than Mr. Sinister, more dastardly than--
Angel: Hank, give it a rest and give it to me. It’s a bow tie for crying out loud! How hard could it be to figure out?
Havok: Gee, I don’t know, Warren Worthington, society-boy--Didn’t you always used to just wear clip-ons?
Cyclops: I’m doomed.

On Shopping At FAO Schwartz In New York On Christmas Eve
Beast: What about you Sam?
Cannonball: Actually, I’d love to join y’all. Ah just got a few things to pick up for my brothers and sisters first. *he unrolls a long list* I’m just gonna hop in t’toy store right quick and pick ‘em. It shouldn’t take 5 minutes. See ya at the restaurant?
Beast: Riiight. 5 minutes. *whispers to Trish* We’ll never see him again.

On Tense Situations
Xaiver: Henry--report!
Beast: ‘Stars and garters’ is the only thing that springs to mind, sir.
Banshee: Saints preserve us.
Beast: Okay, that too.

A clean and uncluttered desk is the sign of a SICK MIND!!
-Unknown

If you do something once, people call it an accident. If you do it twice, they call it a coincidence. But do it a third time and you’ve just proven a natural law.
-Grace Murry Harper

Education is that which allows you to get into more intelligent trouble.
-Anonymous

Research is formalized curiosity. It is poking and prying with a purpose.
-Zora Neale Hurson

School is where you go to learn to communicate, but teachers say, “No talking!”
-Gallagher

When you stop to think, don’t forget to start up again.
-Anonymous

Research is what I am doing when I don’t know what I’m doing.
-Wernher von Braun

On Spike
Kielle: Spike. Mmm.
* Joan_M giggles. And thus the Lady Scribe summarizes a whole discussion with two words :)

There are no stupid questions but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.
-Unknown

Joan_M: I am NOT cuddling a horny bloodsucking toddler!!

Winsock is performing illegal acts.
-Unknown

Scully: Have you ever had any dealings with a cow?
Mulder: Agent Scully, WHAT are you implying?

Matt Nute On Humidity:
* M-Nute remembers the first time he went to Missouri. I'd never dealt with humidity before, ever. I got off the bus and went "Ah! I'm all sticky!"
M-Nute: "Why am I sticky?" "It's humidity" "What's that?" "Water in the air." "Where I'm from, we call that RAIN."

Jim_Smith: Indi: He's gained sentience and evolved beyond Foe's intelligence. Sadly, this being Foe, it only took Nudge five minutes to do this...

* Edana_ni_Emer notes that if Al gets snugged/smooched/cuddled every time he pings out and joins again, he's going to get a lot of lovin'.

On Nutes And Fruitcakes
* Epona_Harper facepalms...Nute's a fruitcake lover. Just like my dad.
Nique: I read that 'Nute's fruitcake lover.' I...need more coffee.

Azzy: "I'm not a racist. I hate all people equally."

Sabia: I think I'd be the most anti-social Borg ever. "You will be assim-oh geez. No way. That'd mean I'd be *stuck* with you. Nevermind. We'll just shoot you instead."

Firebird308: Frito: ...Why are you asking Nute if he wants your food here when--I get the impression of--you can just yell down the hall/next room?
Lyssie: Firy: 'cause it's fun?
Frito_M: FB - I type faster than I talk, and I find it amusing that every time I do it, someone asks me that question.
Frito_M: Besides, the last time I did it, it caused a long discussion about the merits of cupcakes.

* Melodist starts thwapping the spam. "Just because I don't want to forward this to 300 people doesn't mean I support terrorism!"
Foenix: Mel: WHAT?? How dare you not clog bandwidth!!

* Edana_ni_Emer snorts. One day, I hope his life is saved by a flaming pagan gay man with sparkly nail polish, a lisp, and a huge pentacle around his neck.

* Foenix grabs the Akira tin
Jim_Smith: Foe: That's it...go get him....
Mike_Smith: Jim: With a tin? What's he gonna do, offer me butter mints?
* Jim_Smith puts up a sign that says "$50.00 reward for shooting Mikes. Especially this Mike."
* Foenix runs up behind Mike_Smith and *clangs* them upside the head with an Akira collector's tin.
Mike_Smith: Foe: OK, OK, you got me. Fair and square. Would you like to shoot me now, or wait till you get home?
Jim_Smith: Foe: What are you waiting for!? Shoot him! Shoot him now!?
Mike_Smith: Jim: You keep out of this! He doesn't have to shoot you now.
* Firebird308 looks oddly at the guys. "You guys are making me start to seriously question the sanity of the general male population."
`Alan: FB: What, only start?
Mike_Smith: FB: All Mike knows is I got Shai curled up next to me, and my Esteemed Colleague here is busy picking up his face. Insane like a fox, I say.

* Foenix nods. Guy Gardner is my hero.
Speedy_Paul: Foe- My condolences.
* Firebird308 waits to see if Paul is smited with the Akira tin.
* Foenix throws the corpse of the flying white kitty of death at Speedy_Paul's face!!
Speedy_Paul: O.o
* Archetypex grins. Years back, my father gave me a wedge and a short-handled sledge and set me to the task of splitting an entire tree's worth of wood. I disturbed him by yelling "ODIN!" with each hammer strike :-)

* Archetypex is cursed by a phonographic memory for songs.
Hex_16: Arch: Maybe I'm just tired, but I read that as "pornographic memory"

BC-Homework: Erm, what are the two biggest problems facing developed countries? (got polution, for one of them) and how can third world countries assist?
* Foenix reads that as "How can third world countries exist?"

Foenix: "100 years ago, superstition and the sword ruled. Foenix was bored out of his mind..."

* Foenix claws his eyes. ACK!!
Foenix: Pink background, blue text!

* ArchBack picks Epi up and sings 'Rockabye Baby'.
*** Epona_Harper has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
Nique: PK! Look what you did!
Persephone_Kore: Nique: It wasn't me! It was Arch!

* Edana_ni_Emer still remembers the fellow who kept his kilt up for too long and took an arrow in the rear. That must have hurt.
Hex_16: Edana: Imagine how much it would've hurt if he had been hit in the other side...
Edana_ni_Emer: And I'm sure it was much better than, say, an arrow in the front.

Nisie: Sort of... And it just hit me that Emma and Betsy would make a great team if I ever wrote slash stuff.
* Persephone_Wolf blinks. Whatever did I miss?
*** Persephone_Kore has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
Nisie: Talk about stunning the Kore...

Sabia: That was disturbing. Her statement could imply she just ate Mel's hand.

BC-Writing: You're name isn't even anywhere near Yonas *wonders how she did that* O.o
Firebird308: I'm wondering too. :O) Was slightly distracted by Crantz which was why I didn't respond earlier.
* BC-Writing was also distracted by the Cricket. Which is her excuse :)

* BC-Writing did NOT accidentally send her adress to FB, thinking it was Yona. 'Course not
Firebird308: BC: Riiii-ght. ::grins::

Indigo_: "I'm going to seduce you into my bed, so you will give me what I ask or I will DESTROY your hair band!"

`Alan: My sister was a big Care Bears and My Little Pony fan too. I tell ya, there's nothing more fun to a ten-year-old than to make fun of the Care Bear movies in your little sister's hearing. :)

Firebird308: I taped a bunch of the X-Men show from the 90's. Almost got the entire Dark Phoenix saga. Then some moron decided to interupt with a report. I had been waiting for years to get the entire storyline on tape. ¬.¬
Indigo_: FB: If they interrupted, I'm sure it was important.
Firebird308: Indi: I know, but did they have to do it during one of maybe two shows that I actually watched? >_<
Indigo_: FB: The important thing probably happened during your one of maybe two shows that you actually watched.
Andrea13: Indi: You just *had* to drag logic into this. ;)

* Firebird308 covers her eyes. "When updating Crantz on what was going on, I accidently typed 'Kiko just had to unplug her phone because peabrain just killed her again.' instead of 'Kiko just had to unplug her phone because peabrain just called her again.'"
* Ped snerks in amusement
Andrea13: Fire: Oops.

M-Nute: Alan: Yeah, but since I'm eating out of the take-out container, cutting steak with my bayonet is a bit of overkill.

* M-Nute nods. That was hilarious. "Tap, what're you eating?" "Meat." "Can you be more specific?" "No. Meat. Onna stick."

* Indigo_ cuts her hamburgers too. Eat 'em with knife and forg.
Indigo_: er, fork.
Indigo_: DREA! Stop trying to make me type 'frog' when I don't need to!
AlecWire: How does this make sens- Hang on a sec. [checks sanity at door] Much better.
Andrea13: Wire: See my revision. I cut burgers, not frogs. My mind is on vacation. :)
AlecWire: Drea: Ah. I got a time-share for mine.

* Nique hrms, idly flips off the Marvel Certified Fansites crap, and plays with pretty scans...
Firebird308: I read that as 'pretty craps' for some reason...
* Ped snerks in amusement
Indigo_: If you pay with pretty dice, then the craps game is pretty?
Firebird308: Indi: I guess... :-)

Firebird308: Lyssie: Well, gee, Sinny killed AOA Forge who was her father figure. :O)
Firebird308: Ack.
Firebird308: His, I meant. ::Hides::
Sabia: *her* ?? Is there something about Nate that I've missed?!
Lyssie: Sabby: blood, intestines, falling apart pieces as telekinesis ripped his dna structure to shreds....
Firebird308: Sabby: Typo!
* Lyssie snickers.
* Sabia thinks that would have been great! Femme-Cable!
Lyssie: And, DAMMIT. No Alicia OR Times to annoy with the thought.... ;)
Firebird308: Now I'm trying not to choke on my drink while laughing...
Firebird308: Lyssie: I think Alicia did a female Cable. Or maybe it was someone else...
Sabia: Lyssie: I'm just wondering why the more powerful AOA version would bleed when the wussy regular guy can get squashed and blasted without mussing his hair.
Lyssie: Sabby: Not a clue.
Sabia: FB: Alicia would only get a female Cable if she emmasculated one of hers. Which she may have done.
Firebird308: Sabby: Well, I couldn't remember who did female Cable but I knew Ali was a Cable writer so she was the first person who came to mind.
Jess__: Adam says : Alicia did female Cable for the XXY
* Lyssie nods. That makes sense.
Firebird308: And a small, somewhat filthy corner of my mind keeps trying to interpet 'did female Cable' into something dirty.
Lyssie: It's Ali, you never know.

Firebird308: Indi: Last night I had the singing navel commercial inflicted on me.
Indigo_: FB: I am SO soryr.
Indigo_: er, sorry.
* Azzy still screams whenever she sees that stupid comercial
* Edana_ni_Emer has seen that once. Is it muy disturbing.
Nique: Only had the misfortune of seeing that once...
* `Alan still doesn't get what's so frightening about the singing navels. I mean, it's a minor nifty digital trick, that's all. Annoying when you see it five thousand times, sure.
Azzy: I see it all the time. Lousy stupid Comcast....
Azzy: Alan: Sure, but how would you feel about *male* singing navels?
`Alan: Azzy: Um, that it's a minor nifty digital trick that's annoying when you see it five thousand times?
Azzy: I mean, this one's all fine and dandy because you're looking at pretty female tummies, completely ignoring the fact that their navels are SINGING
Azzy: But was about a nice, cottage-chessy male tummy with a happy trail?
`Alan: _That's_ what I don't get. What's so incredibly terrifying about the fact that the navels are singing?
`Alan: I mean, in the Matrix, for example, you get to see Keanu Reeves' mouth sealed shut, and nobody complains about that except for people who wish it'd happen in real life. Same sort of deal, IMO.
Azzy: Alan: But I don't want to see his navel sing. That would be odd. In a frightening sort of way.
Indigo_: Alan: You don't find it disturbing that a navel is singing?
Indigo_: even if it was Keith Hamilton Cobb's navel, I would not want it to SING.
* Edana_ni_Emer snickers at Alan.
Indigo_: Alan: I find it disturbing because navels are not supposed to sing.
`Alan: Indy; Um, no more than I find Arnold Vosloo going from desiccated corpse to lovestruck supervillain in four easy peoplesuckings. Less, actually.
Indigo_: You recall the hubbub last year about Frito and Seraph discovering the Singing Penis?
Mike_Smith: Indi: What about the bunny slippers?
Indigo_: body parts other than the mouth are not supposed to sing.
* Edana_ni_Emer screetches to a halt and stares at Indy. The what?
Indigo_: Mike: Bunnyslippers are not body parts. They're anthropomorphic cartoon articles of clothing.
Indigo_: Edana: You heard me, Edananananananana.
`Alan: Indy; And lizards don't talk, but that never stopped Budweiser.
Indigo_: Alan: Yeah, but they're not SINGING.
Indigo_: and Lizards aren't body parts.
Mike_Smith: Indi: Pfft. Semantics. If one of US invented singing navels, it'd be the FUNNIEST THING EVER. As it is, it's an overplayed ad campaign.
Indigo_: besides, talking animals are widely accepted as cute, even if it's not possible.
Indigo_: Mike: No, I think the Mulderbutts are pretty off too.
Indigo_: and I hated Ace Ventura's talking ass.
`Alan: Indy: Talking, singing, they were _lizards._ All the same thing to them.
Jellicle: Note - if it were the frogs' navels talking I think we'd all be pretty disturbed too!
Indigo_: Jellicle: Frogs don't HAVE navels, so yes, that would be really disturbing.
Jellicle: Or any other animal for that matter ;)
Jim_Smith: Mike: Did you just use "Semantics" and "singing navels" in the same argument?
Indigo_: Alan: Note the little boy in the commercial who sees all the singing navels in person looks very disturbed.
`Alan: s' just, from the way you people react to this commercial, I get this mental picture of you waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat to check and see if your navel had learned "Born to be Wild." And that's _way_ too much of an overreaction to a thirty-second ad. :)
Mike_Smith: Jim: I compared them to the bunny slippers.
Indigo_: Jim: He did!
Jim_Smith: Mike: Uh, why?
Indigo_: Alan: No. I don't wake up in a cold sweat, checking to see if my navel has learned "Born to be Wild." It's more like I check to make sure it hasn't learned "Feelings" or "The Chicken Dance Song."
Mike_Smith: Jim: Because I find them equally anoying. Indigo apparently doesn't.
Jim_Smith: Mike: I've never even seen a singing navel. Is this one of those things that I manage to easily avoid, like annoying Top 40 radio?
Edana_ni_Emer: Indy; The Chicken Dance Song doesn't have words, does it?
Indigo_: Edana: I don't think so.
Indigo_: but I still wouldn't want to wake up with my navel singing it.
Mike_Smith: Jim: It's a commercial from some pants manufacturer. Lee's maybe. They made pants that hang lower on women, so you can see their navels.
* Jellicle has to admit this is a funny conversation to answer end-of-auction notices to, though..
Mike_Smith: Jim: To wit, they show all these women in midriffs, their navels singing "I'm coming out..." ad nauseum.
Jim_Smith: Mike: Oh wait, I saw that once.
`Alan: And the reaction that commercial gets in here, you'd think they were the Elder Navels, summoned back from beyond the world we know to devour all of mankind. :)
Jellicle: Navelthulhu
* Edana_ni_Emer hopes someone's gonna log and post this. *snicker*
Indigo_: Mike: I do find that annoying. Frightfully so.
* Mike_Smith slaps his forehead. Of COURSE Cthulu. It's like the holy trinity of irritation.
`Alan: Shub-Navelrath, I was thinking, but that works too.
daroosFOOD: *snugs everyone and runs*
Firebird308: Edi: I... oh damn. That's right. No make logs anymore. But I'll go over this later to nab parts.

Due to lack of interest, today has been cancelled.
-Unknown

Never knock on Death’s door
...Ring the bell and run. He HATES that!
-Unknown

This is not fun! I’ve had fun! THIS ISN’T IT!!!
-Peter Venkman

The First Stagehand’s Law (AKA The Frisbee Law): Never, ever precede anything with “Watch this.”
-Unknown

You never learn to swear until you learn to drive!
-Unknown

About Shatterstar:
Blood warrior of the fashion police, Roberto thought uncontrollably.

Maeve77: Aack! We've all just contributed to the delinquency of a minor!
Archetypex: Maeve: Relax. If they're in here, they're delinquents by definition...

Indiana_J: The Cat Peep before it dies: "No, no! I've been a GOOD sex slave, mistress! NOOOO..."
*ripMUNCHMUNCHMUNCH*
Firebird308: Indy_J: O.o
* Ped snerks in amusement
* Indiana_J smiles sweetly at FB.
Firebird308: That poor, poor Peep... *G*

The Romans conquered the Greeks, the Egyptians, and the Gauls. Then they come to Scotland, where they find legions of naked hairy, blue screaming men and women. They say 'to hell with this', then build a big honking wall to keep the weirdos out.
-Will Riley; The Archetype Association

Threnody: An Irishman isn't drunk so long as he can hold onto a blade of grass and not fall off the world.

That program is my bitch, and it needs to be reminded of that.
-Zanne, on a PSP program

"Of all the drugs that come out of Columbia, Caffeine is my favorite."
-tygakatt, in a conversation regarding coffee

"You can't force good writing. You can't work for it. You just need to relax and let it come to you, or else it'll show up, and your readers will know it. It's kinda like having an orgasm."
-Zanne, in a conversation with kylen15

* daroos has little holes where her teeth were, but they're happy little holes.
Epona_Harper: May all your holes be happy holes. Man, that sound sick when you think of it a certain way. :)

I got back yesterday afternoon, but I was dead.
-Zanne