Angel didn't know quite what to do with the younger vampire sitting in front of him. The air was thick with unspoken tension and stress between them, but this was nothing compared to the hostility Angel had always felt around Spike before.
They had never, ever been friends.
However, that didn't really mean much right then, since Spike couldn't remember anything about their former relationship. For all the blond knew, they had been best friends...or lovers. Angel knew he could look at this as an opportunity to begin again with Spike, without Angelus and his twisted relationship to everyone who came near him. Here was an chance for him and Spike to really begin as equals to get to know one another.
He could look at it that way. But he chose not to. The possibility that Spike could regain his memory, plus the fact that the older vampire really didn't expect that he would be able to tolerate his grandchilde for more than five minutes at a time made him opt instead for looking after Spike in the most minimal way possible. That did not include deceiving the former Big Bad about the past nor making up "feelings" for him in the present. Angel hated Spike, Spike - the real Spike, Spike with all of his marbles intact - hated Angel. That was the way it was, the way it was supposed to be. Spike without a memory was only needlessly clouding the issue.
It was agreed that Angel would try to help Spike remember as much about himself and what he had been like as he could. However, before the gang from Sunnydale had left, Giles had pulled Angel aside and asked whether it would be wiser to simply lie to Spike about his past. The fear was that once the blond was told that he had been a ruthless killer who hated not only the Slayer but Angel as well, the younger vampire would revert to that behavior because he had no other frame of reference. While this might certainly prove to be the case, Angel wasn't sure that deceiving the other vampire was a good course of action either. There was always the chance that he would regain his memory on his own, which would of course undermine any falsehoods the older vampire told him. That would make the blond even more pissy than usual.
The issue was still undecided in the brunette's mind after the Sunnydale crew had left the two of them alone in the empty hotel. In the sudden uneasy hush that descended, the new Spike fidgeted nervously, something the old Spike would never have done. If Angel hadn't been convinced that this wasn't a trick before, he certainly was now. Finally Spike broke the silence.
"So, er, what now?"
Angel sighed and pushed debate of whether to tell him or not to the back of his mind for the time being. "Well, it's almost dawn. I thought I'd show you to your room, and then you could get some sleep. It's been a long night."
Spike nodded and followed the older man up the stairs without argument. Angel had decided to put Spike in the room across the hall from his own, needing to keep an eye on the blond in case he decided to start dining on the locals. At the open doorway to the room, though, Spike paused and turned toward the brunette.
"Are you going to come in?" he asked a bit shyly.
Angel blinked, taken aback, then uncertain about his interpretation of Spike's meaning. It was entirely unlikely that the blond could be propositioning him, wasn't it?
His question was answered as Spike leaned forward abruptly and kissed the surprised man fully on the lips. So shocked was the older vampire that he didn't even offer any resistance to the action, simply letting it evolve as it normally would. Meanwhile, Spike sank further into this kiss, opening himself up completely to the older man, and Angel suddenly understood what this was about.
Even through the memory loss, the demon in Spike remembered the proper etiquette for dealing with vampires further up the Sire chain of command. There was nothing unusual in this memory, though all the others were erased. For vampires, this behavior was instinctual, and Spike remembered it in much the same way that a human with amnesia will retain the physical knowledge of how to swim, though he or she will not be able to remember taking lessons. It was engrained in him, never to be erased.
It was an understatement to say that Angel was surprised at Spike's use of the old rituals. As far as the brunette knew, neither Dru nor her errant childe had ever paid him such respects before (though to be fair he himself had never really paid them to Darla or the Master, either). Once Angel realized what was happening, however, he was able to attempt to bring to an end the formal procedure before it reached its inevitable conclusion: the dominance of the Sire asserted through a near-rape sexual claiming of the submissive. Although the demon in him screamed to take Spike in the most vicious way possible, the soul slammed the door quickly on anything like *that* happening. The fact that he was at all tempted to simply allow the demon to have at Spike would be the subject of many a day's brood. If he actually went through with it he'd never be able to wash the act from his conscience.
"Spike, I...this isn't..." He took a deep, unneeded breath and tried to gather his scattered thoughts. "Go to sleep, childe. We'll talk tomorrow."
Nodding doubtfully, Spike allowed Angel to steer him through the doorway, then shut the door between them, leaving Spike in the room alone.
*********
An hour later, Spike found himself hovering around the older vampire's bedroom doorway, hesitant to enter but unable to leave. Despite what Angel had said earlier, the blond vampire needed some sort of contact with him in order to sleep. The younger vampire was alone and afraid. More alone than he had ever been before, since now he didn't even have the comfort of knowing himself in the dark. Angel was someone who knew him, had known him. Moreover, Angel was connected to him by blood, the most important connection in the world for a vampire. In the back of the smaller man's mind, the code of behavior still demanded that he offer himself to Angel in lieu of his Sire. This urge would not stop no matter how many times Angel rejected his offers. Right now, the Irishman represented everything that was safe and identified. The blond sought out Angel as he would a mystic or a saint. He needed the brunette desperately. Angel, having realized this earlier, was not surprised in the slightest when he felt Spike loitering in the doorway of his bedroom. Calmly he told him to come in.
The blond entered silently, skirting the edge of the bed until he was standing next to the headboard. Wordlessly Angel pulled back part of the sheet, inviting the younger man to lay down beside him. As soon as he had, the brunette wrapped his powerful arm around the slim waist, turning the blond sideways until he was lying on his right side. Leaving his arm where it was, Angel moved to rest snuggly behind him, spooning the blond tenderly. At this move, the younger vampire's body relaxed for the first time since he had woken up in the mausoleum. He was safe now, here in Angel's arms. Holding the blond close, the brunette was aware of the exact instant that Spike drifted off to sleep. Smiling slightly, the Irishman allowed himself to finally drift off as well.
-the end-