Xander was having a dream that he was being chased by something large and loud, but in the dark of the hotel he couldn't see what it was. It was right behind him, though, practically breathing down his neck. And although he was running through the empty hallways as fast as he could, it was gaining on him. There were two problems with the situation: one was that Xander knew he was dreaming, but was unable to make himself wake up. The second was that Dream Xander knew exactly what was behind him, but refused to let his conscious mind in on the information. Dream Xander preferred to be smug.

Xander ran up the main flight of stairs, looking over his shoulder the entire time, only to come face-to-face with ...it...at the top. Then he was falling head over heels down the staircase and landing with a noisy thump on the floor next to his bed. Rubbing the sore place on the back of his skull, the teenager ascertained that yes, he was now awake, though landing in a heap between the bed and the wall probably wasn't the best way to make the transition to wakefulness. At the very least, he was going to have a bitch of a headache for the next few hours. Damn.

Stifling a huge yawn, the slayerette stepped into the shower. The hotel's water had just been turned on about a week ago, and after living there for nine days without water at all, Xander still sent a silent thank you to every god and goddess he knew of as he immersed himself in the hot liquid each morning. Not that he had ever been fastidious about his personal grooming, but even he had his limits when it came to body funk. Especially when his days were spent helping to clean the Hyperion and getting Angel Investigations moved in, both of which were dirty, sweaty tasks. Of course, it wasn't until they were both done that the hotel's water finally was turned on. The fact that Xander had only come to LA with enough clothes for a weekend in the first place didn't help matters either. C'est la vie.

After a long, hot, thoroughly relaxing shower, Xander wandered downstairs to the kitchen area, noting as he did so that Angel hadn't gotten up yet. In order to avoid the possibility of having an argument with the vampire that would get him thrown out of his rent-free lodging, Xander had elected to have his room on another floor on the opposite side of the hotel from the older man. That way, they saw each other only in certain central areas, which seemed to work out nicely for both of them. Often, unless the teen was helping Wesley do research or surfing the net with Cordy, Xander would be out touring LA before Angel made his first appearance of the day. Usually by the time the brunette returned it was late evening and Angel would be up in his room. Entire days would pass without the two even laying eyes on one another. It was as pleasant an arrangement as Xander could have asked for.

Mostly, the young man spent his days either walking around downtown or going to the beach. He had learned to negotiate the LA bus system (which meant he had learned to wait up to an hour and a half for each bus) and wandered aimlessly around the city, trying to figure out what he was going to do with his life. The answer had come one night about four days ago, as he and Cordelia went out for ice cream. (Double chocolate chunk for him, plain vanilla for her.) Suddenly he was certain about what he wanted. But now, four days later, he was still unsure about how to go about getting it. Xander had no idea what Angel's reaction would be, but as he set about making his breakfast, he decided that this morning, no matter what, he would talk to the brunette vampire.

After pouring a bowl of cereal, the youth reached in the fridge, pushing cartons of blood out of his way until he picked up the white jug of milk. Yup, definitely this morning.

The slayerette was washing out his cereal bowl when he heard feet on the stairs. As Angel appeared in the kitchen doorway, Xander sent him a wan smile as he tried to exterminate the butterflies which had suddenly started popping up in his tummy. What if Angel didn't want him staying another few days? Where would he go then? Grabbing the bull by the horns, Xander took a deep breath and tried to get it over with.

Before the younger man could advance the conversation past a mumbled good morning, however, the hotel's glass doors burst open, revealing a beautiful and stylish Cordelia Chase.

Xander cursed the relief he felt at the interruption, then smiled at his former girlfriend.

"Look!" she said, turning her mega-watt grin on him, "I brought coffee," she added, holding up a tray of four paper coffee cups. "Real coffee. Firehook coffee. I thought we could celebrate our new offices in style." All of them had been finding small ways to celebrate the new offices for the past two weeks.

Sitting down behind the computer, Cordelia waited for Windows to load as she tapped her perfectly manicured nails against the edge of the keyboard. Xander picked up the newspaper that she had brought in with the coffee and sat reading it on the edge of her desk. In the silence that filled the room, the teen was trying to gather his courage for another attempt at talking to Angel.

For the second time that morning, the glass doors burst open.

This time it was Wesley who entered the hotel, carrying a stack of books that reached from his waist to his chin.

"Wow, Wes," Xander said, leaping up to help the older man, "doing a little light reading?"

"Actually, all off these books have to do with the prophecy of the Drakian Moon. It's not an emergency, mind you, but here is our chance to be forewarned, and we mustn't pass it up." The ex-Watcher handed a small pile of books to each of them, ignoring the groans and sighs.

After flipping randomly and unseeingly through the books in front of him, Xander stood up and walked over to the doorway of Angel's office, through which he could see the dark-eyed man pouring over his own assigned stack. The young man finally cleared his throat to get the vampire's attention.

"What's wrong, Xander?"

The youth took a fortifying breath. "Well. You know, when I first asked if I could stay here, I didn't think it would be for so long. I mean, I said a little while, and it's been almost three weeks now. I'm sure you're sick of having a roommate..." He trailed off, the unreadable expression in Angel's eyes making him wish he had never started this conversation.

Angel broke into his thoughts unexpectedly. "Have you made a decision?"

Xander blinked. "About what?"

"About whatever it was you came here to think about."

Letting out a shaky breath, the younger man dropped his eyes to the floor and tugged on the bottom of his t-shirt. "Yeah...I don't think I'm going to go back to Sunnydale. I mean, I'll go back and pack up my stuff, but I'm not really very happy there. I don't think it's the place for me anymore."

"You've been happier here?"

Angel's insight surprised the brunette. "Yeah, I guess. It's like there I have a place, but it's a bad place. There I'm the idiot, the guy who messes everything up. I'd kind of like to start over somewhere, with a clean slate."

"Why not here?"

Xander nodded. "Yeah, I was thinking LA might be good. Bright lights, big city..."

"I mean, here. Angel Investigations. You'll need a job."

Xander hesitated, then shook his head. "I appreciate the offer, but it's not exactly a clean slate. Cordy and I have lots of history, most of it not good, and you and I...well, that's not been good either, generally."

"No, it hasn't. And that was both of our faults. But we've been getting along for the past few weeks, and you and Cordelia have become friends over the last year or so. I don't think you'll have any problems."

"But that's not really the point. You guys know me as Xander the eternally sarcastic screw-up. I want to be somewhere that people will just accept me without expecting that."

Angel eyed the young man closely. "Do you really think that's how we treat you?"

Xander shrugged. Now that he thought about it, everyone here - including Angel - paid a lot more attention to what he had to say than the Sunnydale crew ever did. When he helped out with the cases, it was as an equal, not an inept sidekick. It probably had something to do with the fact that the employees of Angel Investigations, excluding Angel, of course, were just as super-powerless and normal as he was. Sure, Wesley knew a lot about demons, and Cordy had visions, but these things didn't make them stronger or better fighters than he was. He wasn't the only mere mortal trying to kick demon ass anymore, and although he hadn't realized it until that moment, it felt really good. He looked back over at Angel, who, hands folded in front of him on the desk, was patiently awaiting his answer.

"I guess demon hunting is really all I'm really qualified to do, anyway," he began, choosing his words carefully.

"Good, so you'll stay," the vampire interjected with a small smile. "You can live here, too, at the hotel. I mean, if you want to."

Xander's narrowed eyes were counteracted by the hidden grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. "You just don't want to pay me enough so I can actually afford rent someplace else, right?" he asked jokingly.

Angel appeared to take the question seriously. Then he shrugged. "Maybe I've just gotten used to having you around."

Xander didn't know quite how to interpret that, so he decided to simply ignore the comment. "Oh. And if we haven't killed each other by now..."

"We probably won't," Angel finished.

Xander took a deep breath, surprised at how easily the pieces had just fit together. One minute he was looking through a book on lunar behavior, the next someone was offering him a whole new life. It was eerie. For the first time, he felt himself smiling at Angel naturally, without some motive or discomfort behind it. "Okay, boss, when do you want me to start? I'm going to need to go back home and get my stuff first. And say goodbye to Willow and the rest of the Scoobies."

"You can go now if you want. It's been pretty quiet lately. Take as long as you need to."

Xander shook his head, a rueful smile plastered to his face. "It won't take very long. I don't have a lot of stuff and there aren't that many people to say goodbye to. Kind of sad for someone who has spent all of his life in the same town."

Without waiting for a reply, Xander turned on his heel and left Angel's office.

* * * * * * *

Xander hadn't been kidding when he said it wouldn't take long. In fact, from the moment he set foot back in the 'dale, all he could think about was how soon he could leave again. He even wondered if he should bother leaving the bus station. Why not just take the next bus right back to LA? There wasn't much that was salvageable in his basement "apartment", and he didn't really expect any of the members of the Scooby gang to even notice he had been gone for the past few weeks. In the end, Xander's loyalty and sense of duty got the better of him, and he dejectedly trudged through the sunny streets toward his parents' house.

As if he needed any reminder of how much he wasn't essential in anyone's life, the "0 new messages" flashing at him from his answering machine as he walked in the door pretty much did the job.

Sighing, he picked up the two suitcases he owned, knowing that all the stuff worth taking would easily fit into them with room to spare. About halfway though the packing process, Xander took a minute to call Willow. Even though they hadn't been close for about a year, he did have lots of good childhood memories of the redhead, and those had to count for something, right? He only cringed a little when her machine picked up, then left a brief message asking her to call him when she got a chance.

An hour later, she did, but only to tell him there was a Scooby meeting scheduled for that night at the Magic Box, which apparently Giles had bought while Xander had been away. The teenager swallowed his unreasonable hurt that such big things had been afoot when he was out of town. Arriving at said property later that evening, though, he was moderately cheered by the fact that evidently nothing else had changed. Buffy sat on Riley's lap, the two of them cooing at each other like idiotic birds. Willow and Tara, off alone in a corner of the shop, weren't much better. Anya was counting money in the shop's cash register, steadfastly avoiding Xander's eye. As the dumpee, Xander kind of assumed it was his job to avoid her, and was a bit peeved at having his position usurped so unceremoniously. Still, it was one less person that he'd miss once he got to LA.

Once the meeting was officially underway, Xander sat back and listened to the normal ramblings about the latest evil happenings in town, reveling for once in the knowledge that he really was unneeded here. Any vestigial feelings of guilt were wiped away in one swoop.

Finally, when it looked like everyone was about to disperse, Xander stood up and tried to remember the little speech he'd rehearsed on the bus ride. "I'm moving to LA," he started.

"What? Why?" asked Buffy, tearing her gaze away from Riley long enough to stare open-mouthed at Xander.

Fuck the speech, the teenager thought with a sigh. "I just need a change. LA's a change. Hence me going there." Suddenly he felt very, very weary.

"When?" this time from Willow, and his heart softened. A little.

"Tomorrow. First thing in the morning."

"You have a place to live and everything?" Buffy again.

Xander decided to show no mercy. "Yup. Angel gave me a job and Ill be living in a hotel with him," he said, looking her straight in the eye. At the mention of her ex-lover's name, she predictably flinched, then stopped asking him questions, as he had known she would.

The next thing he knew, he was swept up in a huge bear hug by Willow, who almost crushed him with the force of her embrace. "Are you sure?" she asked him quietly.

"Yeah." He smiled softly down at his best friend. "This is the best thing for me right now."

"All right, then. Have fun. Stay out of trouble. And don't forget to write. Although calling is probably better. You can call, right?"

"I'll call," he assured her, then beat as hasty a retreat as he could, given the circumstances. The entire experience had left him drained and vaguely depressed, and the thought of staying in the basement for even one last night was too much for him. instead, he quickly gathered his meager possessions and called a cab to take him to the bus station. Bidding Sunnydale a last farewell, he jumped on the first bus headed for Los Angeles.

* * * * * * *

A month later, Angel and Xander were hell-bent on getting drunk. They were both still covered in demon entrails from an earlier encounter in the sewer, and after everyone else had gone home, they had headed up to the hotel's roof to "relax" with a bottle of expensive Irish whiskey. Angel merely sipped at the contents, but Xander, still suffering from occasional bouts of uncertainty about his new life, drank half the bottle. The two had become closer in the weeks since Xander's return from Sunnydale, moving from mutual uneasiness in each other's presence to a mild respect and perhaps even liking of each other.

"You know," Xander announced with the heavy tongue of the tipsy drinker, "this is good stuff. I've never been much for alcohol, but this I like."

"I remember it as being stronger when I was human."

The youth paused, considering this for a moment. "Don't take this the wrong way, but it's hard to think of you as human. Were you all broody and pained like you are now?"

"I was kind of an asshole, if you want the whole truth."

Xander laughed. "Well, at least you're honest."

"I had this idea that my father was somehow responsible for how I turned out, and that no matter what I couldn't grow up to please his expectations. So I stopped trying. I lived for vice and rubbed his nose in it."

The younger man nodded, his stance a bit unsteady. "I know what you mean. Well, kinda. My father never expected very much from me - or anything, really. But he'd hit me just the same, yell at me to be a better person no matter how hard I tried. I never thought about finding consolation in vice, though." He grinned wolfishly and almost fell over. "I wish I had."

Instead of replying, Angel led the drunken youth to bed, where the vampire helped him to undress before making his way up to his own lonely room in the dark.

* * * * * * *

After a month and a half of being cajoled, begged, and wheedled by Xander, the brunette vampire finally caved and did the one thing he absolutely swore he would never ever do once he got back from hell: he bought a big screen television and had it installed in one of the rooms on the lower floor. Eventually, even he had to admit it was a good investment once Xander had caught him watching it late one night. The older man still refused to get cable, however, and on this point he couldn't be swayed.

Xander couldn't pinpoint the exact second that he and Angel became friends, but he could remember when he first noticed it. He had come home to find Angel lying on the sofa, watching a documentary on PBS. Although the brunette had grumbled about the vampire's fat ass taking up the entire couch, Angel had refused to move over, resulting in Xander playfully launching himself at the reclining older man, landing directly on top of him. Instead of shoving the youth onto the floor, the Irishman had simply shifted so that Xander's body was aligned with his own, the young man's head pillowed comfortably on his broad chest. Throughout the rest of the program, Angel had run his long fingers through Xander's hair, making the human wish he could purr. It had been nice, and more than that, it had been relaxed and easy, two things he had never expected to be in the presence of the other man. It was then that Xander realized that the word friendship could be applied to his dealings with tall and broody.

It was only two or three days after this startling revelation when the first big test of it appeared on the horizon. It started innocently enough with a phone call.

"What's up?" Xander asked, entering the room just as Angel was hanging up the telephone. When the vampire turned to face him, the teenager knew that something was wrong.

"That was Giles. Apparently there's been some kind of trouble in Sunnydale. Something bad. Anyway, Buffy's on her way here with Dawn and some of the others."

Xander answered as intelligently as he could, given the circumstances. "Oh."

They arrived a few hours after sunset, descending on the hotel like locusts. Xander was surprised to see Spike with them, but not nearly as shocked as Angel was. Nobody, including Xander, had bothered to fill in the brunette vampire about Spike's return to Sunnydale and eventual chippage; in much the same way, nobody had bothered to tell Xander that Spike was now a full-fledged Scooby member. Or that Buffy and Spike were so obviously sleeping together.

As everyone assembled in the lobby and dropped their bags on the floor, there was a moment of uncomfortable silence as Xander and Angel faced off with the Sunnydale group. Willow and Tara stood holding hands, Tara too shy to meet the eyes of anyone in the room. Dawn stood on the other side of Willow, her long brown hair in pigtails. Buffy and Spike stood together on the other side of the younger girl, also holding hands. Willow was the first to break this awkward quiet, grabbing Xander in a bear hug.

"Hey Wills," he managed to whisper as all the air in his lungs was forced out due to the vigor of the embrace.

"You haven't written!" she snapped, drawing back to glare at him sternly.

"Sorry, Mom," Xander muttered, only to cringe as the strength of her glare increased. "I am sorry, Will. It's just been really busy here lately. Lots of people needing saving. Lots of baddies needing to be squashed."

Willow continued to eye him unsympathetically for a minute, then her face melted into the bubbly Willow he knew and loved. "That's okay, I guess. But you are going to tell me *everything* before I leave LA, got it?"

"Yes, Master," the brunette said with a grin of his own.

"Can we go eat now? I'm really hungry." Dawn told the room, looking specifically from Willow to Tara.

"Yup, let's go," the redhead responded eagerly, then turned to Xander. "We told Dawn we'd go out for something once we got here. Have you eaten yet?" she asked him.
"Yeah, just a little while ago," Xander admitted sheepishly. It hadn't occurred to him to take the Sunnydale crew out right after they had arrived.

Willow shrugged with a smile. "It doesn't really matter. I mean, you could come with us anyway and talk, right? I need to hear everything about your life down here."

"Um, actually," Xander began, glancing toward Angel's stoic face for a second, "I'm really not feeling so well right now. I think I'm gonna stay in tonight. But when you get back we'll talk, I promise." He tried to avoid seeing the disappointment in her eyes. The truth was that the young man didn't want to leave Angel alone right after he realized that his ex-girlfriend was now dating a vampire he considered his mortal enemy. Xander could tell just by the vampire's rigid stance that he was very upset; the brunette hoped that once the others left he would be able to get Angel to talk to him.

"I'm stayin' too," Spike announced. "I'm sure Peaches has a little extra blood to spare for the prodigal son. Besides, the Slayer and I have got better things to do then hang out in any restaurant." With that, he gave Buffy a leer that a blind man would have recognized. Xander thought he really was going to be sick.

With that, the three young women left them to fend for themselves. Buffy immediately disappeared to do something in the room she and Spike would be sharing while Angel grudgingly led the blond into the kitchen. Xander followed uneasily, not wanting to leave the two of them alone for a second. Angel might not say anything to Buffy about how he was feeling, but that didn't mean he would hesitate to beat the shit out of Spike at the slightest provocation.

Spike followed the older vampire to the refrigerator and took the offered blood bag. "You know," the blond began, his gaze never wavering from the bag in his hand, "this is crap. Really. Animal blood is just..." he made a disgusted noise, then smiled fondly. "I remember the best blood I ever tasted. Buffy and I were fuckin', you know, and she pulls out this knife and cuts herself so I can feed off her. It was really...but I guess you already know what that was like. She's really something, isn't she?"

Before Angel had a chance to answer, the opening of the kitchen door interrupted them.

Buffy strode into the room and looked at the small cluster of men. "So, what're you guys talking about?" she asked easily.

"I'm just telling them all about our sex life, luv, nothing to worry about."

"You were telling them WHAT?" Buffy exclaimed, unable to believe her ears.

"One time, last month, she begged me to tie her up," Spike went on, ignoring her. "We bought this gigantic plastic piece that she sometimes uses on me, but that night she wanted me to -"

"Spike! Stop! Now!" Buffy shrieked at him, though there was more amusement than anger in her eyes.

"Make me, Slayer," Spike teased, bounding out of the kitchen door and flying up the stairs. Buffy chased after him, laughing.

There was still tension in the air of the kitchen after the two lovers had exited. Xander was unsure whether or not Angel would appreciate him attempting to comfort the older man. Turning to face the vampire, he found that Angel was already looking at him intently, with something in his eyes that resembled...hunger? Something caught in Xander's throat as he gazed into the bottomless chocolate eyes, then quickly looked away. Not soon enough, though; Angel had picked up the accelerated beat of the heart from the boy as well as the faint scent of his arousal at Spike's mention of a naked Buffy. Grasping Xander's chin in his large hand, the vampire tilted the boy's head back until their eyes met for a second time before the Irishman leaned down and gently touched Xander's lips with his own.

The kiss was close-mouthed and soft. It was short, too, ending as quickly as it began. The two men pulled back to stare at each other for a full minute before Angel leaned forward to close the distance between them again. This time there was a demand made as the cool lips slid across Xander's own. It took the young man only a second to acquiesce, opening his mouth so that Angel's tongue could explore the warm cavern before him. The vampire's hands grabbed the youth's waist, hauling Xander closer until their bodies were molded together. Xander's own hands were firmly wrapped around Angel's neck even as the teenager began to respond eagerly to the frantic kiss.

It was at this point that the sounds of the front doors opening could be heard clearly throughout the hotel's first floor, breaking the two in the kitchen apart as if they'd suffered an electrical shock. Although only Xander needed to breathe, they were both panting slightly as they gaped at each other across the space of a few feet.

"Xander..." Angel started in a low voice, but was interrupted as the young man suddenly turned on his heel and fled the kitchen entirely.

* * * * * * *

Angel finally caught up with Xander almost twenty-four hours later on the roof of the hotel. The teen had avoided him for the rest of the night after the kiss, then spent the entire day running errands with Cordelia downtown. The young man had finally come home and gone up to the roof just as the sun was setting. He knew Angel would eventually come looking for him, and although he really wanted to continue avoiding the older brunette, the youth knew that the confrontation was inevitable. Best to get it over with as quickly as possible.

He could feel Angel behind him, dark eyes boring holes in the back of his skull. He continued to ignore him anyway, waiting for the Irishman to make the first move. Minutes ticked by as the sky shifted from an indigo to full black. If this wasn't L.A., they would be able to see stars. Still Angel remained silent, though he must have known that Xander realized he was there. The teen felt his annoyance growing until he abruptly whirled around, almost snarling at his boss.

"What do you *want*, Deadboy?"

As soon as it was out, Xander wished he could take it back. In all the months that he had lived in such close quarters with the vampire the hated nickname had not been uttered once. The teenager and the vampire had managed to create a new relationship, one based on mutual respect and trust. Now, seeing the old gang had somehow brought back the old status quo. Of course, the kiss didn't help, but Angel didn't know why. Yet.

"Xander, I'm sorry if I offended you. I didn't mean to -"

"Save it," the youth growled, holding up a hand to silence the other man. "I *so* don't want to hear it. If you think I'm going to be your little fucktoy to flaunt while Buffy's around, you're out of your mind." Xander vainly tried to rein in his emotions, but his hurt and anger were too great to allow him to continue the conversation in anything that resembled a composed manner. "How could you try to use me like that? I thought we were friends. I guess I don't matter much when Queen Buffy comes to town. So she's dating Spike! Get over it! I mean, yeah, it was nasty to think about for the first five minutes or so, but then you have to just...*not* think about it," he finished lamely. He started to push past the vampire in order to head back down the stairs, but Angel's superior strength prevented this.

"You think I'm just using you because of Buffy?" the older brunette asked slowly.

"Duh!" Xander retorted, still trying to push Angel out of the way.

The Irishman wasn't about to let him retreat downstairs. "Why?" he asked the teen.

Xander was astounded Angel had the nerve to even ask that. "Why? Because we're friends, then one day Buffy walks through the door on Spike's arm and BAM! suddenly I'm getting kissed in the kitchen. Don't even try and tell me those two events aren't related. It's a simple cause and effect. I mean, I may not be the brightest coin in the fountain, but even I can see that."

"You're right," Angel admitted in a quiet voice, "they are related, but not in the way that you think. I'm not using you just to get back at Buffy. Seeing her with Spike has really changed things for me. It's changed everything. I've kept this image of her for so long...she was my ideal. I always thought that someday we'd get back together. That we really were soulmates. But last night...seeing her was like an epiphany. It made me realize that neither of us are the same people we used to be. Buffy and I couldn't make each other happy now. To be honest, we were never really able to make each other happy before, either. But Buffy's happy with Spike. Really, truly happy. And now I feel like I can move on, too."

"So, what? You move on to the closest warm body? Not really feeling the love, Angel."

Angel chuckled softly. "No. I've been noticing you for months. I just wasn't ready to make a move."

Xander closed his eyes and considered this.

"Do you think we could make something work?" the vampire asked after the silence had lengthened.

The teenager shrugged. "Don't know. Maybe."

"Would you be interested in pursuing something?" the taller man asked patiently.

"Maybe. You know, if you really wanted a date this could be a bit more romantic..." Xander let his voice trail off, a small smile belying the critical tone.

"Sorry." Angel ran his hand through the thick dark hair, then gently stroked his fingers down the side of Xander's face. "Do you believe me?" he asked quietly.

"Maybe," Xander whispered, eyes still closed.

The vampire bent forward and planted a light kiss on each eyelid, causing Xander to open his eyes finally and look at him. Angel leaned closer and placed a tender kiss on the boy's mouth. "Do you believe me?" he asked again, just as quietly.

"Yes," Xander eventually whispered back.