A Cheap HMO

1.Your annual breast exam is conducted at Hooters.   

2.Directions to your doctor's office include,"Take a left when you enter the trailer park." 

3.The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.   

4.The only proctologist in the plan is"Gus" from Roto-Rooter.   

5.The only item listed under Preventive Care coverage is"An apple a day."   

6.Your"primary care physician"is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.  

7."The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges"is not a typo.  

8.The only expense covered 100% is embalming.   

9. With your last HMO,your Prozac didn't come in different colors with little "M"s on them.And the Number 10 Sign You've Joined a Cheap HMO

11.You ask for Viagra;you get a Popsicle stick and duct tape.