God & Satan

In the beginning God  created the heavens and the Earth.

And the Earth was without  form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep.  

And Satan said, "It doesn't get any better than  this."

And God said, "Let there be light," and there  was light.

And God said, "Let the earth bring forth grass, the  herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit," and God  saw that it was good.

And Satan said, "There  goes the neighborhood."

And God said, "Let us make Man in  our image, after our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air and over the cattle, and  over all the Earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the  Earth."

And so God created Man in his own image; male and female created  he them.

And God looked upon Man and Woman and saw that they were lean  and fit.

And Satan said, "I know how I  can get back in this game."

And God populated the  earth with broccoli  and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of  all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy  lives.

And Satan  created McDonald's.

And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double cheeseburger.

And Satan said to Man, "You want fries   with that?"  

And Man said, "Supersize  them." And Man gained 5 pounds.

And God  created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth  chocolate.

And Woman gained 5 pounds.

And God said, "Try my crispy fresh  salad."

And Satan brought forth Hagen  Daz.

And Woman gained 10 pounds.

And God said, "I have sent thee  heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook  them."

And Satan  brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter.

And Man gained 10 pounds and his  bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth  running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.

And Satan brought forth  cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2.  And Man gained another 20 pounds.

And God  said, "You're running up the score, Devil."

And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and  brimming with nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the  healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them.

And he created sour  cream dip also.

And Man clutched his remote control  and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol.

And Satan saw and  said, "It is good."

And Man went into cardiac  arrest.

And God sighed and created quadruple bypass  surgery.

And Satan  created HMOs.