How Do These People Live?

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you  could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets", said the teenager at  the counter. "You don't?" I questioned. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was  the reply. "So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets, but I can order  six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

I was checking out at the local grocery store with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the beltclose to  mine. I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by the cash  register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the  girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "Divider" looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me "Do you know how much this is?" and I said to her "I've changed my  mind, I don't think I'll buy that today". She said "OK"  and I paid her for  the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy  drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy".

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they pointing to a distant convenient store would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked.  "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

Several years ago, we had an intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of  typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put  it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was  towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of  repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in Twister". I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

Sign in a gas station: Coke 49 cents. Two for a dollar.

My neighbor works in the operations department in the central  office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of  the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back  of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire Downtown?"

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a  photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.