"Sticks! Drummers, show me your sticks. Now!"

"Is that a bathroom? That's a bathroom! I'm SO there!"

"If you do that, you'll become...[long pause]...bad.

"I'm not gonna be The National National Miles National Bank."

"Mneumonic? Yeah, like Johnny."

"It's not the bass clef, it's base. Not like baseball. Bass as in voice."

"What are two staffs together?"

Taylor-"Superstaff"

"Yeah, superstaff. No."

"They call it a brace. Eh, whatever. That's not going to get you ahead."

"That's for being expediant"

"Lazy-man quarter notes (draws 4 small lines, and then 4 longer lines)"

"Bam bam bam bing bam."

"Let's see if I hear some vibrations. (puts ear to piano) If I knock your head you'll hear some vibrations."

"My mouth works better than my hands do."

"One flat, two flat, red flat, blue flat."

"Perfect is perfect. There is a deviation!"

"It's another layer of the onion of Music Theory."

"No such thing as a minor fifth. Ever. Pfft! Doesn't happen."

"Shoo."

Class-"Shoo?"

"Yeah, shoo. I save the other words for the car, which no one hears but her (Stacey)."

"Not dominant."

Brandon-"Recessive?"

"Not recessive. We're not talking genes, we're talking keys. Sound same. Totally different."

"John. Shut up. Stacey. Be quiet."

Stacey-"I wasn't talking!"

"You were talking. Faces turned in, mouths moving, that's talking. Don't do it. Ah! Be quiet!"

"Don't worry, everybody gets one chance."

"Size doesn't matter. Trust me."

"Ok everyone, take five for a lubrication break."

"You guys are like my new dog,you can't sit still and I have to yell at you to get your attention and yell to get you to listen" -Talking to Symphonic band and the Marching Band

"Some people over there"(looks at right side of field) "need to roll step. I'm not mentioning any names......Steve Chelton. And notice I'm not mentioning names. I'm gonna be descrete about it so I don't embarrass anyone."

"That would be the prudent thing to do"

"Shake a leg."

"Lets move expediantly."

"JUST SHUT UP!"

"Make this, well, Curvalinear."

"I want it like deeee daaaaa buuummm buummmm. Not dee dat bumm bumm. Deeeee daaaaa buummm bummmm."

"Bop, not Dah, bop. Say it with me. Bop, not Dah.[Later] Tah, not tut! Tah!"

"Greg, you look like a drunken bum with a drum.[whispering] and you play like one too.[not whispering] It's like giving a kid a drum for the first time!"

"[really high voice]Baaa![Ben Hollander:How's that again?] Baaaaaaaaa!"

"No Percussion..Whoa!! No. That sounds like Santa's Funky Chicken!"

"Clarinet sec...sect...sex. clari...sex...SECTION! Oh come on, I didn't mean it that way!"

"There are no lyrics to taps!"

"[To Mike C.] What is that thing with the...uh...head...that you throw lacrosse balls with? [Mike: Do you mean a lacrosse stick?] Yeah!!! A lacrosse stick!"

"We need everybody's full cooperation. If you're in the military, you've got problems if you have 25 lieutenants and no privates. I mean...nevermind, I'm not going anywhere with that one."

"Everybody, go back to letter F. F, everybody. F everybody! Everybody F everybody![Later, after playing through F...] That was a great F!"

"Oh, the ladder fell...at least Sara wasn't on it."

"Everybody go back to measure 69. 69 everybody! Everybody 69 everybody!"

"Percussion, walk to your spot with a bit of arrogance. That shouldn't be hard for most of you."

"Candi for the love of God!! TURN AROUND!!"

"Here, use a floopy disk to play the fish."

"[to the female pitsters] That's the last time I try to correct a woman."

"There's nothing worse than a pit that's disconnected from itself.... except for one person that's disconnected from himself."

"Okay, I have a new command for the band... 'Band, shut up'"

"Don't worry, everybody gets one chance."

"[Ben making car noises w/trombone, and Mr. Miles walks by] Car....back in garage..."

"[Yrying to get everyone's attention] Yo! Guys! Hey! ... Yo!"

"Okay, back it up. [band starts singing the Juvenile song]"

"[To Sweet Chuck] If you're gonna sit around and do nothing at least make yourself useful."

"Say it with me! We can get it right! Chump Chump, Chump Chump, UP!"

"[after doing something over and over]Well, we seem to have beat this horse enough."

"Bop, not dah. Tah, not tut. And da da da da should not sound like de de de de... doooo."

"Put it in, turn it a little, make sure you feel the moisture."

"WHOOPS!!"

Trombones: [playing really bad note] Mr. Miles: [singing] Wroooo-oooong...

"I need to hear the 16th note runs here. Who's got the runs? Raise your hand if you have the runs."

"...any Joe Q. Public could see that... [also Joe Q. Fluteplayer and Joe Q. Middle Schooler]"

"It's between sleigh-heigh. Sleigh-heigh."

"That was it, more or less. [Erin Reid: I'm thinking less.]"

"That note just... can't sound like that. I can think of sound analogies for how it sounds right now, but that wouldn't do anybody any good."

"That was like a duck on steroids..."

"That was a perfect example of what NOT to do."

"Percussion stop antagonizing Zack, he's got enough issues on his own"

"No guys stop talking, I'm not dealing with that today. I'll just throw your..........talkative butts out of here. I'm not dealing with that, now put the drum on. Zack, Greg, stand up, put the drum on, and play. Noooo stand up"

"Part of the reason that stuff needs to be organized back there is so Zack doesn't hurt himself walking back and forth"

"Whoa you need to slow down. Stop flying like a bat out of u know where......[Candi-H E double hockey stix.......]Whatever"

"You need to stop being stupid. No, wait, you need to stop being unattentive, stupidity has nuthin' to do with it, that's just an added bonus for some of you"

"The UH of two it needs to be on the UH of two"

"The part is hard, but not hard enough, now F everyone!"

"SAT time; Restrain your impulsivity!"

"I'm not happy with this ending, in fact, I'm not completely straight..."

"Whats the best way to get the biggest buzz?"

"Don't blow your brains out, it's only one F."

"Hey, cheap seats! Shut Up!"

(At Myrtle Beach, speaking into megaphone)"Everybody get in your own rooms. [Low Voice] Mr. Z has spoken."

"You should all be about 6 foot 12. ... That's 7 feet."

"I'm gonna stop crankin' it now. If that's getting you off, I don't wanna do that."

"Ok band, pop a squat"

"I'm dead sexy!"

"Get in my belly!"

"Do I make you horny baby...do I?"

"That's it baby!"

Ok, as much as I wish I could put this in a quote, I can't, so Mr. Z. makes this whipping sound when he acts like he is slapping someone. Ok, now the reference quote:

"I've got a [makes whipping sound] for each side of the room, don't make me use it!"

"Geez! Watch the tip of that thing!"

"[In a constipated voice] Good work."

"Blame Canada!"

"You don't need to play any louder, you're high enough as it is!"

"You guys were good last year, DAMN good!"[Thanks a lot Mr. Z, and what about this year??]

"We're gonna be good even if we hafta spill some blood."

"[Whispering in the Long Ranger(megaphone-like-thing) from another room] Josh. Josh. I see you Josh. Don't touch the Long Ranger. JUNIOR!! I see you! Ah ah ah. Don't touch the Long Ranger. Matsos! Same goes for you! Back...away..."

"Oh, my bad."

"Okay, you're Tim, and you're... you're... [Andy: Andy... It's on my nametag.] Oh, I didn't see your nametag. I didn't want to look all up and down over a guy's body, you know..."

Mr. Z.: [makes duck sound with trumpet mouthpiece] Ben: [makes shotgun sound with trombone]

"Hey Beavis, shut up."

"This isn't rocket science, it's marching band!"

"[gay voice] C'mon guys! We can do this!"

"This is neither the time nor the place to get all romantic!"

"Hand Check...Josh!"

Brandt: "They stopped."

Mr. Zielinksi: "Yeah."

Brandt (to drumline): "Don't stop."

"Hey bean dip... get in line."

"I learned that to talk like a southerner, all you have to do is add an extra vowel:sa-outh=south."

"Don't give me the finger! Put it down!"

"(slured together) On the beat off the beat on the beat off the beat...You all been smokin' crack!"

Jim: I'll have an Elliot Pizza with Elliot on top

Lindsey: The woman has a cock! In her hand!

Flamenco guy: For the females, you use all four fingers

Mr. Roeder: And then I said a few choice words...
[WE giggles]
Mr. Roeder: No no, I don't mean bad words, I just mean words I like. [smiles]

Sweet Chuck [upon losing a nut to the bongos]: Mr. Roberts, I lost a nut.

Brandt: Let's see how this move pans out.
Tim: Oh it'll pan out alright.
Brandt: It's supposed to be a circle.
Tim: Oh yeah, it panned out alright, it looks like a damn frying pan and not a circle.

Tim: Umm, the last set we learned looks like a penis. [shows Kate the drill charts]
Kate: Oh my God, it does...
Tim: And the whole drill was written by a guy named Dick. Hmm...

from the Trumpet skit...
Jamie: The categories are... (long list of categories)... and "Words ending in 'rombone'"...

some more from the Trumpet skit...
Jason G: [as Mr. Z] [singing] I'm from Indiana, I brush my teeth with straw. I'm from Indiana, how-dee-do-ya'll!

yet again from the Trumpet skit...
Jamie: [Celebrity Jeopardy host] Well Ben, what did you wager?
Jason Wagner: [as Ben Hollander] [holds up card]
Jamie: It's just a bunch of 8's...

from the Pit skit...
Victor: [Croc Hunter voice] Mr. Miles can always be seen around the band room, locking doors, unlocking them, and then locking them again. He can also be seen yelling at the drumline, probably because they're trying to mate with his daughter.

"Yes, if you want to say that I was a drum major, say that I was a drum major for justice; say that I was a drum major for peace; I was a drum major for righteousness. I want to leave a committed life behind." --Martin Luther King, Jr.