Mood:
blueDiana Peterfreund wrote a great letter to her health today and I ditto everything she said. I don't know if my health has actually packed up and left home or if it just got to the point where it had enough and is now forcing me to listen.
I have been fighting off a cold since Saturday and I think the cold has finally won. I went to the dermatologist yesterday to figure out why my face has erupted (more on that later) and noticed that everyone in the waiting room was coughing or sneezing. I didn't stand a chance. Last night when I finally got home I could feel my skin start to ache...bad sign. I immediately went to bed and slept until 7:30. I got up, watched HEROES, then went right back to bed. This morning I got up and felt like I was in a fog. My head feels like it is going to explode and my body feels like someone has beaten the crap out of me. As I pulled into the control tower this morning to get the morning report I realized that I had no clue how I got to work. I know that I did because I was sitting there in my car but I don't remember anything about the drive. I then tried to get out of my car with my seat belt still on. Thank God no one was around to witness. Although it is probably on the security camera footage. That is why medications come with warnings about operating heavy equipment.
Whatever the hell is going on with my body has also taken a toll on my face. You might remember the cold sore entry from last week. That has finally started to heal but now my chin has erupted with acne. Occasionally I will get a few pimples now and again but it has never been this bad. So I made an appointment with the dermatologist yesterday to figure out what the hell is going on. Turns out it is all my fault. I was so self conscience about the cold sore that I washed my face too much causing the skin to dry out. The dryness coupled with the hormones from the impending period, inflamed my oil glands which has resulted in this acne explosion. I was hoping for some magic pill I could take to make it all go away but alas all I got was "take some Advil, use a cold compress, and buy a really good moisturizer." She said it should all clear up by the weekend. Let's hope so.
So last night as I lay there on the couch I started to think about what my body is trying to tell me. One of my problems is that I get so fixated on something that I will go full steam ahead until I finally hit a wall. I have been so focused on buying a house that I have been working 7 days straight at both the park and the pub. I haven't had any time to relax or to get myself centered. Another problem is I don't think I am allowed to be 100% happy. Whenever I am happy I will find some reason to screw it up. I have been so happy lately. Tired but happy. I have been earning good money at the pub which will help me out with buying a house. I have finally gotten a great real estate agent and mortgage broker who have been fantastic with my house hunting fears. I have met a guy who I really enjoy being around and spending time with. My friends and family all seem to be doing well. I should be on top of the world....right? There is this little voice though in the back of my mind saying that everything can't be great...something is going to go horribly wrong.
Maybe I just need some Nyquil and a good night's sleep.
