Mood: caffeinated
I logged onto my Direct TV account to pay my bill online. When the main page came up I noticed that they are offered a free DVR to new customers. So I called the company to ask why a current and loyal customer such as myself was not offered a free DVR. The woman at first tried to tell me that it would cost them in the long run but when I asked her how she couldn’t explain. I told her I wanted a free DVR or I was going to switch to DISH. She put me on hold and came back and said it was being shipped. I asked if I needed to schedule and install and she laughed and said not that it comes with great instructions and that basically I just hook it up like my current receiver. She did mention something about 2 input lines and I looked and had two cables attached to the box so I thought I was good to go.
Well the receiver arrived last night and I was anxious to hook it up. I opened the box and pulled out the instructions and turned to the Installation Page and this is the very first sentence… For the best user experience and system performance we highly recommend that your system be professionally installed. Call 1-800-DIRECTV to schedule an installation.
WTF! She told me I didn’t need a professional. I figured that statement was probably meant for stupid people and that so wasn’t me so I turned the page to install it myself and these are the instructions I see. The following instructions apply if you are upgrading to a new TV or adding a surround sound system, DVD player/burner or VCR some time after your professional installation…. Because there are so many makes and models of TVs and auxiliary equipment, it is impossible to fully describe all the possible connections between your receiver and that equipment. Please refer to your TV and auxiliary equipment manuals for all of the connection options specific to each make and model. The following images show examples of how your receiver may be connected. In these examples, we try to use the best video connection that is supported by the TV, the best audio that is supported by the surround sound, and the next best video/audio connections on the DVD player/burner or VCR. \
There are some poor pictures to show how to connect your VCR or DVD but that’s it. No “this line from the Satellite goes here and that wire will go there” I am still considering myself intelligent at this point so I figured I will just pay attention to how I unhook my current receiver and hook the new one up the same way. I finally get my old one unhooked and go to plug in the new one and there are WAY more places to connect things on the new one. I put outputs to inputs and hook it up the way that “seemed” logical to me. When it was all finished I stood back pleased with myself and grabbed the remote to turn it on. The only thing I got was snow. I figured maybe I needed to reset the machine so I pushed the little red button. Still nothing happened. By now I am starting to get annoyed. I must have disconnected it and reconnected it a dozen times and still nothing happened.
So I gave up and called the help line.
HELPTECH: This is Dave..how can I help you?
ME: Yes Dave this is Rebecca and I just upgraded to a DVR.
HELPTECH Well congratulations on your upgrade. Do you need help programming your remote.
ME: Well eventually…probably… but that isn’t why I called.
HELPTECH: Okay how can I assist you?
ME: Well I am trying to hook this thing up and well…your directions SUCK!
HELPTECH: * giggles * They can be confusing to those who don’t do it all the time. Let’s see if we can’t get you up and running. First…how many cable do you have?
ME: Well there were several in the box and…
HELPTECH: No how many cables are coming out of the wall?
ME: Just one.
HELPTECH: You need to have two input lines coming off the satellite.
ME: Huh?
HELPTECH: (laughing at me I am sure) You will need to have an installer come over and install the proper cable and he will be able to hook the DVR up for you as well.
ME: But the woman on the phone said it was simple
HELPTECH: Once you have the right cables installed it should be a quick and easy set up.
ME: * sigh * How much is this going to cost me?
HELPTECH: $40
The scheduling system has been down so I can ‘t book my appointment to get it installed. I am still pissed that my free DVR is now costing me $40. If it wasn’t such a hassle, I would switch to DISH.