He was a young sweet guy who turned my world Topsy-Turvy for a brief while. He had a deep an profound effect on my dismal life. I can't explain why, I just think at the time we were too lonely people whose heart and souls seem to touch (for me it seemed that way). For him I often think I was his college thesis or project.
In my heart of hearts I do believe if I had not been so very much older then him things may have been different and I would have met him in person. Anyway, I have written alot of poetry inspired by my feelings for him.
It has been a few years ago , but I hope now he is happy and has a real love in his life. I hope it is one who cherishes him. So this is page is dedicated to my Sweet Baby. Seeing the name Sweet Guy still makes my heart STOP and then Flutter..
Oh, How I remember the night I fell for my Online Love. He had been pestering me for weeks in my favorite chat room. It was my birthday and I had one too many Margarita's while celebrating alone. It didn't take much for him to persuade me to let him call me on the phone.
In the beginning it was so easy to invision the scenes he typed on the screen , the park, loverlanes, for you see he lived in the hometown of my youth and these had been places were I went in my dating years. It was like going back in time and living the magical experience of falling in love.
In the still of the night
By a pretend flickering firelight
Pretend candles sofly burning
Pretend Wine that flowed
We danced and you held me tight
With a weary lonely heart and soul
I let my guard down
My heart let you in
In the still of the night
In the Still of the night
When shadows reflect off the wall
I often think of you
With lustful passion
It is your name I whisper
Your name I call out
In the still of the Night
In the Still of the night
When silence surrounds me
It is your voice I hear
Your touch I long for
Your body I want near
In the still of the night
In the still of night
Often tears flow
When I think of you
When I want you
When I miss you
In the Still of the night
In the still of the night
I try so hard to let go
I know your my fantasy
Your embedded in my heart's core
No matter how hard I try
You always come creeping back
In the still of the night
In the still of the night
Sweet promises were made
That couldn't be kept
I curse your name
In the still of the night
What is this hold you have on me?
Maggie/03/05/2004
"Maggie it's been fun but, Sweet Baby has to run"
Those were the words I asked him to say when this online thing was over for him. But, I never expected the unbearable pain that would hit me the day I read those words.
Deep within my soul
Comes a longing
to hold you near
Deep within my soul
I miss you so my
dear
Deep within my soul
My heart has a
burning spear
Deep within my soul
The pain is more
than I can bear
My body, heart, mind
And soul sheds another tear
I know you have gone
But the reason is not clear
Deep with in my soul
My heart will wrap around the memories
And always hold you near
I had just wanted to know Why? After a few days I just had to write and ask Why? Well,the reason was a girl in the real world. That was fine I was glad for him and felt better knowing why. But, we did email every few weeks after that. And, it was I who would email first. Would be in 7th heaven when he replied back or called.
Of Roses on a Trellis Vine
You have beautified and colored my Life
Like the Sweet Fragrance of the
Honeysuckle,Gardenia and Rose
You have intoxicated my brain with your essence
But, like the Thorn of the Delicate Rose
You pricked my Heart
It bleeds so deeply for you.
Like the branches of a large weeping willow
Your arms reach out to comfort
And enfold me in your tenderness
Like the small velvet rose bud
You still have to open and bloom
Into the wonderful man
I know you will someday become.
I have heard your laughter
I have felt your pain
I have seen the anger raging in you
I have seen concern in you
I have felt the passion in you
I have seen the tormented little boy in you
I am in awe
Of the wonderment of you
I Love you more Today
Then I did Yesterday...
Elusive Love 08/31/2000 copyright ©2000-2004
I do not think he knew the impact he had on me and how when sitting all alone and thinking of him that I could be so inspired and put my thoughts into such words. I was never inclined to share these thoughts with him.Besides by this time he had moved on in the real world and I remained in a fantasy world.
One Lonely Night
Our Paths Crossed
Our Hearts Touched
Our Souls Embraced
For A Brief Time
There Was A You and I
But, Our Destiny Together
Could Not Be
Simply Torn
As tears come splashing down
The face of this silly old clown
In the games that people play
Simply Torn
Is how you found my heart
With your magical touch
You eased all the hurt
Simply Torn
That together our lives could not be
But, for a brief time
There was a you and me
Simply Torn
That I never saw your face
Or felt your warm
Sweet embrace
Simply Torn
When I think Back
And See what might have been
In a different time and place
Maggie 04/26/2002 ©2004
I guess time moved on but I didn't I can't explain why something would just spark a memory
and words would come tumbling out.
Some may say I am obssesed and yes, maybe I am. But if someone or something can so inspire me to create and write words that I never dreamed possible.Then Yes! I am obssesed and will use it as a tool, and nothing more.I can only write from deep within my heart and very often not only do the words spill forth so do the tears. this applies to anything I write.
I have put some thought into this so called obssesion, I have come to the conclusion, that he became my passion(a powerful emotion).
Do not underestimate the power of cyber love for it is not limted to romance. Over the years I have met and made friends with some of the most wonderful, kind, and caring people. They are God's great blessings to me. Without them in my daily life I would be totally lost.
Midi Playing "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing?
One year I did get to make a brief trip home it had been awhile but I did call him just could not be in the same town and not call. After a brief conversation we said our formal good byes.
Ok, so I lied it is not Fini
Just wanted to post a letter I once sent him
The Letter
