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June 28, 2006

For Brides Whose Grooms Don't Help
by Abra Whidden

You've got the ring, you've set the date, and now the two of you are headed towards happily wedded bliss. Everything's perfect, right? Not always. While there certainly are exceptions, some brides find that their grooms aren't interested in planning the wedding itself. As I've heard one groom say, "I don’t want a wedding. I just want to be married!" If your groom isn't helping like you feel he should, these are some tips for dealing with his lack of interest.

Dealing with Your Emotions
Our wedding day is the most important day of our new life together, but he doesn't care! Does this mean he doesn't love me?

Not at all! It's natural for you to wonder if your fiancé's lack of interest in the wedding means he doesn't care about the marriage, but there are many reasons why he may not be interested in the planning.

In our current society, men are not encouraged to help with the planning. Wedding magazines are focused on the brides, with only the occasional short article on how the groom can help. Weddings may seem like a private girls' club for brides, their mothers, and their bridesmaids. It may be hard for your fiancé to get past this stereotype and become involved.

He may also be afraid of ruining the wedding day by making a mistake in the planning. If he thinks that it's important to you to have a perfect fairy-tale wedding, he may assume that you can make the better decisions. As my husband said, "most guys don't think about their weddings as children . . . and come in with a feeling of guilt/alienation and would rather let the bride do it her way and stay out of the way."

Changing the Girls' Club into the Couple's Club
I can't do all the work on my own. How can I get him to help me, even a little bit?

If you would like your future husband to be more involved in the wedding planning, there are some approaches you can take. The most effective way to get him involved is to talk to him. Find out his reasons for not wanting to participate, and see if you can come up with your own strategy for planning the wedding together. These are some ideas to start that process:

 - Get him to help with the things that interest him. Find out which aspects of the wedding intrigue and interest your fiancé. If he's not interested in an activity like choosing the bridesmaid dresses, he may be interested in something else like researching DJs, writing the vows, or choosing the ceremony readings.

- Try to make the tasks less intimidating for your fiancé by narrowing down the options. For example, go to several stores looking at all the invitations, and decide on three or four that you really like. Then, bring him in to help with the final decision. Once you get him in the store, he may surprise you and want another option entirely, but the main thing is that you have made the planning process less overwhelming.

- Once the two of you have decided how he's going to be involved in the planning process, make a physical list of things your fiancé is responsible for doing. On this list, include which tasks should be priorities, and when certain things need to be done. For example, indicate that he needs to get his friends' addresses for the invitations by May 1, while he can wait until June to buy the groomsmen's gifts. This list will remove the pressure of remembering details, and you can always turn to it in the case of a dispute.

- Above all, show your fiancé that his opinions matter. You may need to compromise on your own vision of the day, but weddings celebrate couples, not just brides. If his sole opinion is that he doesn't want to help with the planning, you may need to accept this. Just remember that there isn't one specific way to plan a wedding, so however you negotiate this issue will be right for you.

This article originally appeared a style="TEXT-DECORATION: none" here.

Personalize Your Wedding with Wedding Vow Rings

 Laptop Bride is going to buy one of these for her husband  :  )  Engraved rings have become increasingly popular for many years and  at Wedding Vow Rings they have taken the process of ring engraving to a new level. In the past, hand engraved or machine engraved inner ring inscriptions were limited to several words and a wedding date but very little more. With your Wedding Vow Ring you will have much more through Laser Engraving. Wedding Vow Rings engraves your wedding band with up to 50 words (225 characters). They actually can engrave entire Wedding Vows into your wedding ring! What is more romantic than looking inside of your wedding band and seeing a personalized engraving with special meaning to you and your spouse?  Bands are offered in 14Karat Gold (both Yellow and White) or Platinum on their website. The rings are solid gold or platinum with no seams and have a solid back.You may also custom order  rings in 18 Karat Gold.  They will ship your custom engraved wedding band within 14 business days of your order in a gorgeous black velvet presentation box.  Click here.

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Personally, I would love to make this but just haven't found the courage to do it yet, but "Yum-O" does this sound good.  Make if for the Groom . . . or yourself.

Bill Nicholson's Krispy Kreme Bread Pudding with Butter Rum Sauce
Recipe courtesy Paula Deen

Ingredients
2 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts
1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk (not evaporated)
2 (4.5-ounce) cans fruit cocktail (undrained)
2 eggs, beaten
1 (9-ounce) box raisins
1 pinch salt
1 or 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
Butter Rum Sauce, recipe follows

Instructions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Cube donuts into a large bowl. Pour other ingredients on top of donuts and let soak for a few minutes. Mix all
ingredients together until donuts have soaked up the liquid as much as possible.

Bake for about 1 hour until center has jelled. Top with Butter Rum Sauce.

Butter Rum Sauce:
1 stick butter
1 pound box confectioners' sugar
Rum, to taste

Melt butter and slowly stir in confectioners' sugar. Add rum and heat until bubbly. Pour over each serving of Krispy Kreme Bread Pudding. courtesy of the Food Network

And if you don't feel guilty enough already . . . 

Calories in Krispy Kreme Donuts

Dancing with the donuts. How many calories in Krispy Kreme Donuts?  Find out by locating your favorite Krispy Kreme Donut below.

courtesy of Diet Bites

Sydney's Closet - Every bride dreams of the perfect wedding dress. With so many wedding dresses and plus size wedding gowns, it's hard to find the wedding dress just for you! Sydney's Closet has a great selection.  Tip: Shop for plus size wedding gowns that fit your personality and flatter your curves.  Click here

Favor Resource:

Sugar Memories  - Bulk wedding candies, including Nonparelils, Butter Mints, Andes Mints, Chocolate Cigars, Party Mints, Jordan Almonds, You gotta see to believe.  Click here

If you have any comments or ideas that you would like to pass along, please email us at LaptopBride@yahoo.com