The Persian marriage ceremony is an old and beautiful tradition that many Persians would like to continue holding as they adapt to their life outside Iran. Even as Persians abroad marry outside their culture, they need not abandon the meaningful emblems of their heritage.
Persian Wedding Ceremony (Jashn-e Arusi)
The wedding has two phases: the aqhd, which is the legal ceremony where the contract, aqhd nameh or qabaleh "marriage register" is agreed upon and signed; and the arusi which is the reception after the aqhd, a splendid affair often held in the home of the groom.
By custom Aghd would normally take place at bride's parents/guardians home. The ceremony takes place in a specially decorated room with flowers and a beautiful and elaborately decorated spread on the floor called "Sofreh-ye Aghd". Traditionally Sofreh-ye Aghd is set on the floor facing east, the direction of sunrise (light). Consequently when bride and bridegroom are seated at the head of Sofreh-ye Aghd they will be facing "The Light".
Dressed in satin and silk with gold embroidery, the bride sits facing a mirror, ayeneh-ye bakht, or the mirror of fate. It is usually lit by two candelabra, one on either side, representing the bride and groom. According to tradition, the mirror and candlesticks, symbolizing purity and love, should be gifts from the groom. Just before sunset, when he enters the room in the bride's home where the ceremony will be held, what he sees first should be the face of his wife-to-be, reflected in the mirror.
The spread that is used on the floor as the backdrop for Sofreh-ye Aghd was traditionally passed from mother to daughter (or occasionally son). The spread ,sofreh-ye aqhd, a fine hand-sewn wedding cloth glittering with gold and silver threads is made of a luxurious fabric such as "Termeh" (Cashmere: A rich gold embroidered fabric originally made in Cashmere from the soft wool found beneath the hair of the goats of Cashmere, Tibet, and the Himalayas), "Atlas" (Gold embroidered satin) or "Abrisham" (Silk).Sofreh-yeh Aghd is spread out before the mirror. Food and objects traditionally associated with marriage are arranged on , including:
A basket of decorated eggs and a basket of decorated almonds, walnuts and hazelnuts in the shell to symbolize fertility.
Glittering walnuts, hazelnuts and almonds in their shells& Colored eggs
The arrival of the guests, who are to be witnesses to the marriage of the couple, initiates the wedding ceremony. Traditionally the couples' guardians and other elder close family members are present in the room to greet the guests and guide them to their seats. After all the guests are seated the bridegroom is the first to take his seat in the room at the head of Sofreh-ye Aghd. The bride comes afterwards and joins the bridegroom at the head of Sofreh-ye Aghd. The bridegroom always sits on the right hand side of the bride. In Zoroastrian culture the right side designates a place of respect.
When the bride and bridegroom are both seated the marriage ceremony begins. Usually the Clergy , Moslem priest "Mullah" or other males with recognized authority such as a notary public will be the master of ceremony and perform the legal part of the ceremony. The bride and the bridegroom have each a marriage witness. Usually older and married males are chosen amongst close relations to stand as witnesses. The ceremony consists of preliminary blessings, questions to the witnesses, guardians and the marrying couple. Finally the ceremony is solemnized by giving some prayers for the newly wed couple and signing of a legal marriage contract. During the reading of the marriage contract, all the unmarried women are asked to leave the room, the belief being that their chances for marriage might be jinxed.
As the aqhd ceremony begins, women who are happily married, friends, or relatives of the bride and groom are invited by the bride's mother to gather in the ceremony room. Two of them hold a square of white silk or cotton over the bride's head while another sews a piece of tissue using the seven colored threads to symbolize sewing mother-in-law's lips together; another rubs two sugar loaves (two pieces of crystallized sugar shaped like cones) together to symbolize the raining of sweet joy and happiness down upon the bride and groom to sweeten the couple's life. With each stitch, the seamstress chants, "I am sewing the mother-in-law's tongue, now I am sewing the sister-in-law's tongue, now I am sewing up all the other family members' tongues." Others chant, "Endear her, endear her." The ceremony is reminiscent of the ancient traditions.
After the preliminary blessings and a few words about the importance of the institution of marriage, the master of ceremony confirms with both the parents or guardians that they indeed wish to proceed with the ceremony and there are no objections. Then the master of ceremony asks the mutual consent of the couple. First the bridegroom is asked if he wishes to enter into the marriage contract, then the bride is asked the same question. Once the bride is asked if she agrees to the marriage, she pauses. The question is repeated three times and it is only at the third time that she will say yes. To make the bridegroom wait for the bride's answer is to signify that it is the husband who seeks the wife and is eager to have her and not the other way around! here it goes:
The holy man then asks the bride, "Young and noble woman, do you realize you are marrying an honorable man for this mahr (security-money or property that the groom agrees to give the bride upon demand)?" But the bride is silent and those in attendance pretend the bride is absent, saying such things as, "She is not here. She went out to gather rosebuds." Again he asks the question. This time the guests might answer, "The bride has gone to the library." The holy man repeats the question three times and the bride finally answers with a shy, barely audible, "Yes." He then declares the couple husband and wife and asks for God's blessing to be with the couple in their lives together. Afterwards the couple, their guardians, witnesses and master of ceremony sign the documents. The groom kisses the bride, although the groom cannot join the bride until the arusi, the reception celebration. Traditionally, the arusi follows the aqhd on the same night, or it may be held on a later day.
Traditionally after the ceremony while the bride and groom are still seated the bride is showered with gifts, usually expensive jewelry, and all she receives is hers. The bridegroom does not receive many gifts. He only receives one gift from the bride's parents/guardians. When all the gifts are presented to the bride the wedding ceremony is officially concluded. Generally after the ceremony the bride and bridegroom and the guests move to the location of the wedding celebration party "Aroosi" and celebrate the occasion by playing laud cheerful music, dancing and consuming some lavishly prepared food.
The bride and groom moisten their little fingers with some honey and place it in each other's mouths, then they each place a noghl, in the other's mouth. Friends and relatives shower them with more noghls and coins or rice before offering them their wedding gifts. At this moment the mother of the bride takes off the bride's right shoe and puts out the candles with it. The shoe symbolizes control of her fate, or bakht.
To bring sweetness and energy for the wedding night, sometimes an egg omelet, Khagineh, is cooked and sprinkled with the same sugar that the bride and groom were showered with; this is then served to the bride and groom.
The arusi is a lavish meal, sometimes with a whole roast lamb as the centerpiece. Jeweled rice, or sweet rice, is always served, along with many other dishes and an elaborate wedding cake. The celebration, with so much feasting, singing, and dancing, is a day for all to remember. After the guests have gone home, it is customary to give the remaining pastries to those who were unable to come and to those who helped make the day a success. The sugarloaf is kept by the bride.
Before they enter their home, the bride kicks over a bowl of water placed in the doorway. The water spilled on the threshold represents enlightenment, happiness, and purification for her new house. A friendly competition starts with the bride and groom as the bride tries to enter her house while stepping on her husband's feet. This act makes the bride the boss in the household.
In recent years, the Persian communities abroad have changed and adopted the life-styles of their host countries. The Persian marriage ceremony, however, is so old and can be such a beautiful ceremony regardless of how it modified, modernized or mutated.
References:
1) http://www.mage.com/RCW.html
2) http://www.wedding.nz.net/sofreh.html
3) http://www.persianconnection.com/categories/wedding.html
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