"Let me start first," Sonny insisted. "I have a lot of explaining to do, not that I'm excusing what I did," he said quickly.
"Okay, you first," Dara agreed, giving him an encouraging smile.
Sonny licked his lips nervously. "Okay, um, this isn't easy for me, so bare with me."
Taking a deep breath, Sonny started to speak, "I guess you could say that I have a real problem with women. With trusting them, believing in them, loving them. My Mother," he said, his voice shaking already, "my Mother married a man who beat her. My Mother watched him beat me, I mean, not literally, but she didn't do anything to stop Deke. She would leave the room whenever he started in on me, out of sight out of mind I guess. Even though I knew it was wrong, I used to think that it was my fault, that I was such a bad son that she let this man come into our lives and beat me. I hated Deke for what he did, but I made sure that when he got angry, he would take it out on me and not her."
Dara's heart was in her throat. The rage, the sadness, the pain in his voice tore at her deeply, but she remained quiet, allowing Sonny to continue.
"When I got older and I started working in the business, I had all these women around me, wanting me, I mean, I'm sixteen and I've got all these beautiful women trying to seduce me. For awhile I loved it, the attention, the sex, all of it. I'd throw some jewelry at them and they'd do whatever I asked them to. I never felt more powerful in my whole life. I could control these women, treat them like garbage and they'd still come back to me. I started to think that all women liked to be treated that way, so that's what I did when I was interested in a woman. Treat her nice for awhile, buy her a few things and then degrade her."
Sonny's voice dropped shamefully. "I'm not proud of what I did, but I was in a business where this was how all the mistresses acted. I never loved any of them, I never even tried. In a weird way, they all reminded me of my Mother. Of what she'd take, of what she'd let me take. I think I started to hate her then, I mean, on the surface, I treated her like a queen, but deep down, I started to resent her. For what she did, for what she didn't do. It just, it all started to twist."
"And then I met Brenda," Sonny said, his voice becoming noticeably softer. "For once, I really wanted something more from a woman, I wanted to love her, treat her right, make her happy. I was so messed up, so controlling, so angry. I couldn't do it and I ruined her life. And Lily's, our baby," Sonny's voice broke tearfully, the raw pain coming to the surface once again.
"That moment. It played it my mind for years. Over and over again, her smile, getting into the car, and then boom," Sonny whispered, his eyes dark and haunted as he stared past Dara. "She was gone, our child was gone. I couldn't stop screaming, and I was being held back, watching this huge fireball light up the sky, wanting nothing more than to jump into that inferno and die with her."
Dara swallowed back the lump in her throat, unable to do much more than let out a shallow breath of pure ache. Sonny's intense pain was so deep and profound that she was afraid to even move, for fear of disturbing his revelation.
"I think that it was then that I started to believe that I was pure poison. I was death for anybody who dared to care about me, I was death for anybody I dared to care about. Including my own child. So I pushed people away from me, I convinced myself that I wasn't worth the love others were giving to me. I got angry when people tried to care about my welfare. I pushed and I pushed and I hurt a lot of people."
Sonny gave a sad smile. "But I got my way. Most people turned away from me. A few stayed. Jason, Mike, Robin. They wouldn't let go. It was okay. It was easier to care about them, but I knew I could never bring myself to allow another woman I cared about into my life. Not until," he started.
"Me," Dara finished, her voice soft. Sonny's eyes rose to meet hers and instantly, warmth radiated from them. "Yeah, not until you."
"And that's why you hurt me." Dara's voice was understanding, as if all the pieces of the puzzle had finally slipped into place for her. She knew the pain that he had gone through. Why he had said it and how he understood what it did to her. "You, you saw how you felt about me," she tentatively started, suddenly unsure of her statement.
"I saw how I felt about you and how much I wanted to keep that, but I also saw the danger involved. I thought I was poison. I thought we were just about sex. I thought I could scare you off, I didn't realize that it was already too late. That my feelings for you were permanent, they wouldn't go away," Sonny admitted, feeling the tightness in his chest, loosen slightly.
"You were very convincing," Dara acknowledged. "I was so angry, so hurt, but I couldn't help feeling that you were trying to do more than just blow me off. I couldn't keep my mind off you, and I dreaded thinking, no, knowing that we weren't over. Not by a long shot. I sure tried to get over you, but I was lying to myself and I knew it."
A pause came over both momentarily before Dara continued, a laugh escaping her. "I felt so stupid! Still thinking about you after what you said, caring about you, wondering about you. And now I know why, because I couldn't let you go. I wouldn't give you up, not like this. Not knowing what I knew deep down."
Dara smiled tenderly at Sonny. Taking his hand in hers, she placed it underneath her left breast. "Do you feel that?"
Sonny's eyes flickered mischievously, "uh, well yeah," he said before Dara laughed. "Not that, I mean, my heart dummy."
Sonny pressed his hand gently against her chest and within a few seconds, felt a gentle, steady pulse against his skin. "Yeah," he said, "I feel it."
"Do you know what that is?"
Sonny shook his head.
"It's a sign. It means I forgive you."
Sonny's eyes darted to Dara's. "What?" he asked, wondering if he heard right.
"I forgive you," Dara repeated simply. "Now I guess all you need to do is forgive yourself."
*********************
Home of Anthony Moreno
"Don't answer that."
Moreno let out a groan of approval as the young woman raked her nails gently across his chest, moving her hips purposefully against him. Not opening his eyes, Moreno listened to the shrilling of the phone sitting on his bedside table and debated answering it or pulling the cord out and hurling it across the room. He removed his right hand from her hip and grasped for the phone.
"Oh no you don't," she purred disapprovingly, grabbing the wandering hand and placing it on her left breast, smiling as he responded greedily, cupping both breasts in his massaging hands. She leaned down, trailing her tongue along his chest, up towards his mouth where he devoured her, plunging his tongue against hers. Excited by his vigor, the young brunette began grinding into him harder, feeling him match her pace as he pushed himself further into her with another groan. She was barely aware that the phone had stopped ringing, enjoying the feel of his traveling hand, pulling, tugging, insisting more from her.
"Yeah, what is it?" Moreno growled into the phone, keeping his voice collected, despite the fact that he was barely hanging on, so ready to explode it hurt. The young brunette didn't notice the first few moments of stoppage, still caught up in her state of bliss. Moreno turned his attention back to the phone call.
"Have you found anything on Corinthos or my nephew?"
The brunette snapped open her eyes in frustration. Looking down at him, she waited until his eyes were on hers. "Tony!" she whined, moving against him stubbornly. His hardened look in response stifled her and with a pout she started to ease off of him when he grabbed her forearm forcefully, the gesture surprising her. Listening to the other end of the conversation, his hand let go of her forearm and dropped down suggestively to her abdomen, letting his fingers trail back and forth, feeling the heat of her skin, the tremble of her anticipation. The brunette gave a relieved smile and his hand dipped lower, his fingers now playing about her clitoris. Her eyes closed and she let out a whimper as his fingers began to slowly rotate in a circular motion, applying the slightest of pressure against her.
Moreno's hard eyes softened with a primal sense of satisfaction. "Yeah? are you sure about that?" he asked to the man on the other end, his attention almost entirely trained on the young woman responding eagerly to his touch. Keeping up the motion, his attention now became focussed on the matter at hand. "Danté's been taking out members of his own crew for months, what's so special about this one?" he demanded impatiently. The brunette writhed and began to mutter words clearly of her native tongue. Moreno gave a wicked grin and began to rub in the opposite direction. "What? Where the fuck did you hear that?" Moreno's mind began racing, what the hell would Danté's right hand man be sniffing about Dara Jensen? The brunette's whimpers and muttering turned to shallow gasps as her fingers dug into his flesh and Moreno responded with a gentle thrust into her. Another gasp escaped her lips.
"Jensen's at Harborview now? No it's not unusual, there are a few attorneys from the D.A.'s office who live there. Keep the tail on her for now, I want a full update tomorrow morning on her. I wanna know why my nephew's crew is following her around. The P.C.P.D has been coming down hard on both sides. Danté's jumpy, if he was picked up, he might panic and roll on us for a deal."
"Fine, fine, I"ll see you tomorrow morning," Moreno said, hanging up the phone, his fingers moving more rapidly. He could feel her, readying, tensing up for her release. Abruptly, he pulled his fingers from her, the brunette crying out, almost in pain at his removal.
"You know the rules," he said fiercely, "you don't get off until after I have."
The brunette's eyes opened, flashing with indignant rage, before instantly cooling, remember how angry he could become when disobeyed. "I was waiting for you baby," she cooed, attempting to smooth things over with him.
Disbelief came over Moreno's face initially, before slowly relaxing as the brunette resumed moving her hips against him, coaxing him back. It only took a minute or so before he was tensing himself, locking his hands onto her slim hips, pumping vigorously into her until he finally exploded with a grunt of immense satisfaction, dumping his seed deep within her. After a few seconds, the brunette came, shuddering deliriously, feeling her juices mix with his. Her sweat covered body draped over his in exhaustion as they inhaled each other's scent, both gasping to catch their breath.
"Not bad," Moreno said gruffly. The brunette rolled her eyes as she pulled off of him. "I"m gonna go take a shower," she said.
Moreno once again grabbed her forearm, tugging her back. "You clean me up, before you think about yourself," he leered at her. The brunette gave a fake smile. "Tony, I was just fooling around. You know I will."
Moreno gave a serene smile as he glanced out the window, his left hand now guiding her in the clean up job.
"This is the life," he murmured with satisfaction. "This is my life," he emphasized. "Nobody's is taking it from me."
******************
Sonny's PH
Sonny's hopeful smile froze. "Forgive myself?" he questioned.
Never been here
How about you?
You smile at my answer
You've given me the chance
To be held and understood
Dara nodded. "This hurt both of us."
Sonny's hand squeezed hers. "I'll try working on it," he said unconvincingly.
You leave me laughing, without crying
There's no use denying
For many times I've tried
Love has never felt as good
Dara gave him a reassuring smile, "I'm a pretty good listener, but only when you're ready," she added. Feeling the moment between them drawing to a close, she stood. "I should get home."
Sonny's face became stricken. "It's way too late, stay here tonight," he insisted.
Dara's face instantly matched his. She too wanted nothing more than to fall into his arms and be swept up to him room to reaffirm their feelings for each other. The ache that had built up within her was almost unbearable. "I want to stay, but, we should move a little slower this time around," she said slowly.
"You're right," Sonny agreed. Pushing any thought of Tori and Danté out of his mind, his attention centered on Dara. "I want to savor every ounce this time," he said, smiling warmly at her. Will you just stay for a bit then?" He indicated to the warmth of the crackling glow from the fireplace.
Be it downtown or way up in the air
When your heart's pounding
You know that I'm aware
"I'd like that," Dara said as she took the seat next to Sonny on the couch, allowing herself to be pulled into his embrace. Her eyes drifted upwards, to be instantly captivated by his. Her hand reached up, softly stroking the side of his face.
You make it easy, to watch the world with love
You make it easy, to let the past be done
You make it easy
Sonny's arms wrapped around her, pulling Dara to him as she slipped hers around him. He inhaled her scent deeply, wondering how he'd survived so long without it, without her. Their lips met, hungrily as they hugged tightly, assuring the other of what they wanted, and how neither would leave. The pain that had built up over their separation began to slowly dissolve and the heat that both had craved began to slowly emerge once again. Everything they wanted was in the other and with this newfound declaration, a healing began.
How'd you do it?
How'd you find me?
How can this be true?
To be held and understood
They broke the kiss reluctantly, but affectionately. Sonny nuzzled Dara lovingly, grasping her hand in his, twining their fingers lightly, before bringing her hand to his lips and pressing a soft kiss against the top of her hand, letting his lower lip cascade over the knuckle and down Dara's index finger.
Keep it coming
No one's running
The lesson I'm learning
Cause blessings are deserved
By the trust that always could
Dara watched this silent display of affection tenderly, her eyes slowly roving over the face that she had dearly missed. Carefully, she laid her head against his collarbone, feeling his arms close around her, protectively. Finally, after a few moments, a deep sigh was released from both, as if gesturing to the other that they were back in the place they had always sought.
Home.
Be it downtown or way up in the air
When your heart's pounding
You know that I'm aware
Dara felt her eyes begin to droop, it had been a very long night for her. She briefly contemplated attempting to pull from Sonny's secure embrace, but quickly found she had no desire or strength to do so. She never would. It only took a few moments before her eyes closed completely and her body settled into a deep, peaceful sleep.
You make it easy, to watch the world with love
You make it easy to let the past be done
You make it easy
Sonny felt his eyes become heavy as he gazed at the blazing fire in front of him and Dara. The disappointing thought that Dara would be leaving in a few minutes woke him. "Dara?" he questioned, his hand reaching up to gently stroke her smooth skinned cheek. Only a deep, slow exhale responded. Sonny craned his neck downwards, to see the beauty in his arms fast asleep. With wonder, he watched her, the tranquility radiated from her as she snuggled against him. She was safe, here with him.
A fierce sense of determination filled Sonny. He would keep her safe, no matter what. He would die before he would let harm come to another woman he loved.
And with that silent affirmation, Sonny too, drifted off to sleep.
******************
P.C.P.D. Mac Scorpio's office
Taggert rapped the door quickly, opening it to find Mac and Garcia already deep in conversation. Their eyes rose to meet his and instantly, Taggert began to feel a deep sense of dread. He shut the door behind him and took a few steps towards them. "You wanted to see me?"
Mac nodded. "You finish up with the kid?" he asked.
"Yeah, they'll be all ready to go in the morning. Is that all?"
Mac quickly looked at Garcia, who produced the photograph he'd ordered to be blown up earlier. Taggert eyed the photo, uneasy by the fact that Garcia was shielding it from him. Mac took another look at it. "No, that's not all. We found this on the kid's girlfriend," Mac said, retrieving Dara's bracelet from his desk behind him. Taggert quickly took it, already panicked by the implications. "This is Dara's, " he said anxiously. What the hell was going on?
"There was a break in at her place tonight. Along with that bracelet, all that we think was taken was a picture like this one," Mac motioned with the photo in his right hand.
Taggert snatched the picture from Mac's hand and looked at him. He paled instantly, his mouth dropping open slightly in pure shock. "This isn't..." he whispered, his voice trailing off.
"It's Dara with Sonny Corinthos," Garcia supplied. "These were taken not long ago, at Corinthos's penthouse and by the looks of it, this has been going on for quite some time." Seeing his partner's crestfallen expression, Garcia empathized. "Sit down Marcus," he said quietly, easing his friend into the leather seat at Mac's desk.
Taggert pressed the palm of his hand against his forehead, rubbing the already pounding headache. Despite his automatic revulsion at seeing Corinthos with his closest friend, Taggert slowly felt the pieces of Dara's secrecy of months earlier begin to become clearer for him. The emotional highs and lows, the tight grip on her private life, how she had changed so suddenly and without explanation. In all of his observations and delving into her private schedule, Taggert had never suspected this revelation. Dara had kept her secret relationship expertly concealed, not that he'd dug too deeply, having dropped his mini crusade once she had returned to her usual self. Or so it had appeared.
His thoughts jumped back to the stolen bracelet. "A break in? Where the hell is Dara? Is she alright?" he demanded tersely, rising from his seat.
"From the picture, we sent an unmarked car around Harborview Towers. Inside the parking garage, we identified that Dara's car was there and so far, she hasn't left," Mac said, his voice low
Taggert's jaw clenched. "I gotta go," he muttered, turning on his heel before Garcia grabbed him.
"You can't do this Marcus! That's not how we're doing this," he informed Taggert.
Taggert swiveled, anger swelling within. "What the hell are you talking about? She's over there with Corinthos!" he seethed. "He's still involved with the mob and with this escalating war between Vitali and Moreno, who knows what's going on with him!" he yelled.
"She's there by choice!" Garcia's voice rose above Taggert's. "You can't just go over there and drag her out like an irate Father!"
"ENOUGH!" Mac hollered, silencing both of his detectives. "Garcia, I want you back in my office at 10a.m. tomorrow." Garcia gave a curt nod before leaving. Mac turned to Taggert, his expression softening. "Listen, this can't be easy for you, but I'm telling you right now, we are doing nothing about this tonight. Dara is coming to my office tomorrow morning before noon to discuss another case. Then and ONLY then will I bring up the photograph and the relationship. You are to stick to the cases you already have. You don't go near her until I have spoken to her first. Is that clear?"
Taggert stood sullen before nodding slowly. Mac sighed, "good, go home, get some sleep, I'll let you know tomorrow how the meeting went."
Taggert nodded again, before stalking from the office. Mac's warning had little to no effect on him, he wanted answers first and in a few hours, he was going to get them.
***************
Song-You make it easy by Air