Erin sullenly surveyed the scene around her: Zac on the end of the couch oppisite from her with a half-asleep Mackenzie on his lap. Taylor lounging on the recliner and Jessica on the floor with her back against the edge of the chair. They were all engrossed in an episode of Third Rock from the Sun.
Being an only child, Erin didn't get how anyone could stand having so many siblings. It was weird that they got along the way they did. Her friends were always telling her how annoying little brothers and sisters were. Her parents never really bothered to give her much of their time, so it wasn't like she ever had much of a family. She had always relied on her friends for company. They were more family to her than her parents ever were. That was fine with her. Her friends always knew how to have a good time anyway. Parent's had lame ideas of fun, or at least hers did.
Erin was beginning to wonder how much more of this show she could take. Third Rock from the Sun just wasn't her kind of show. Those guys sure were tolerant. They even watched the same program as thsir siblings and they even seemed to enjoy taking care of them. She didn't get them at all. Not that she cared to. She felt a sudden urge for a cigerette. She didn't feel like getting into another arguement on where she should smoke, so she decided to just go out to the backyard. There were some more important things she needed to think about anyway.
***************************************************
Mackenzie watched her leave out of the corner of his eye, then crained his head back to look at his brother.
" Zac?"
" Hmm?," he mumbled, eyes glued to the tv.
" How come Erin is always so sad all the time?" That got everyone's attention.
" Well Mack, I really don't know," Zac said after a long pause, unsure how to answer him.
" Erin's just in a really upsetting situation. She was living with parents who didn't spend much time with her and then she ends up getting put in a house full of these people she doesn't even know very well," Taylor tried to explain it in a way Mackenzie would understand.
" Oh. Okay," was all he said.
" How can you even tell she's sad?," Jessica asked, glancing at her little brother.
Mackenzie shrugged. " I don't know. I just think she's sad."
" Give me a break," Jessica said," She's just a big jerk who has nothing more to worry about then her daily insult."
" That's not true," Taylor said.
" Yes it is. She's also incredibly rude. I don't even see what she's got to be sad about."
" Cut it out. She doesn't talk shit about you," Zac said, covering Mackenzie's ears.
" Why are you guys defending her?"
" You don't even know what her problem is, that's why," Zac told her.
" Oh and I suppose you do," she challenged.
A look passed between Taylor and Zac. What could they say without revealing too much?
" I can only imagine," Zac finally said.
***************************************************
Nice yard, Erin thought. She gazed at a stretch of grass, with large shady trees in the back and a brick path winding through. There was only an unlocked gate blocking the woods just beyond the yard. Erin made a mental note to explore the woods later. Just beyond the edge of the woods was the babbling of a brook.
Erin sucked in a deep breath. She loved nature. It smelled so good and fresh. She sure wouldn't have minded owning this kind of property.
She noticed some raspberry bushes and headed towards them. She smiled with delight when she saw a few berries still clinging to the branches and eagerly picked them. Looking at the raspberries in her hand, she found herself getting lost in a memory...
...She and Derek had taken Caleb to visit a friend. It was a warm summer day and not too hot out. They had decided to let the energetic toddler play out in the yard. At eighteen months, he was naturly curious about everything around him and constantly exploring. He was hard to keep up with and Erin had had some hope that he would work off some of that energy in such a large area.
Erin remebered spying some raspberry bushes, full of fruit, and grabbed a bunch, popping several into her mouth as she went.
" Hey Caleb! Come here!," she called him.
Grinning, he turned from the patch of weeds he'd been studying and ran to her on chubby baby legs. She held out the handfull of berries to him, but he just stared at them. She grinned and stuck a raspberry in his mouth. He smiled at the taste and held out his hand, his way of asking for more. She held her hand out to him again. He took a couple of berries and ate those. He held out his hand again and this time he grabbed several raspberries with both hands, stuffing them into his mouth.
Erin began laughing uncontrolibly at her son. His face and hands were covered with juice and holding out his hand for more with a silly grin on his face.
Careful not to let any of the sticky juice get on her clothes, she took his hand and led him towards the bushes. It didn't take him long to figure out how to pick his own raspberries...
Erin chuckled fondly at the memory. Ever since he discovered how much he liked raspberries, Caleb would eat them whenever he could. She sighed and shook her head. She was sure looking forward to turning eighteen so she could get the hell out of there. She pulled out a cigerette and a lighter. She noticed that the wind had started to blow and glanced around, looking for a sheltered area. She happened to look up and noticed something in the trees. A treehouse? Yup, there's a rope ladder. Curious, she climbed the ladder and peered inside.
Not bad, she thought as she hoisted herself onto the edge. Sort of reminds me of that club-house I built out of old fence boards when I was twelve. She frowned. Then Dad took it apart for firewood. She sighed and lit her cigerette. She seemed to be going through those a lot quicker than usual. She was going to run out soon. She made herself comfortable on the floor and as she often did, let her mind wander.
For some reason, she found herself thinking about Derek and when they started dating. They had met through a mutual friend at a party. She was twelve, he was fifteen, but they really hit it off. They were good friends for a while and became an official couple not long after. One would think that their parents would object to the age difference, but neither set of parents really cared what their kids did as long as it didn't involve them. Erin smiled bitterly. That was one reason they clicked so well. They both came from homes where the family didn't give a rat's ass what you did. They both did a little drinking on occasion, smoked regularly, and often partied. Although Erin enjoyed fooling around with guys, she hadn't been so quick about sex. She finally lost her virginity to Derek when they had been together for about two months.
They were lucky the first year, for a couple who didn't care for condoms. Nothing seemed to happen, so they didn't worry much about it. But not long after she turned thirteen, she missed a period. She didn't think too much of it at the time, she tended to skip a month from time to time. That was not unusual, but then she skipped another. By the time she skipped a third period, she started to get worried. She also started getting sick easier and sleeping more.
" Damn, I was so fucking scared," Erin thought aloud.
At first, her biggest worry how telling Derek. She was afraid he would freak and break up with her or something. She really cared about him and the last thing she wanted was to lose him.
Her thoughts shifted to the night she told him. His parents often took weekend trips, leaving him alone in the house. They took advantage of those frequent trips to have little " sleepovers ". Erin would just tell her parents that she was staying at a friends house and they fell for it.
They were sitting on the couch watching MTV, Erin resting comfortably in his arms. He leaned down and started kissing her neck. She started to respond, but to her surprise as much as his, she started crying.
" Erin?!," Derek exclaimed in shock," What's wrong?"
Erin was crying so hard she couldn't speak.
Plerplexed, all Derek could do was hold her and wait for her to calm down. " Shhh. It's okay. It's all right," her soothed her over and over.
After about five minutes and she was able to speak, Erin blurted out," Derek, I think I'm pregnant."
He stared at her blankly and didn't say anything.
" Well say something."
Nothing.
" Pregnant. Are you sure?," he finally asked her.
" Not completely, but I'm pretty sure. Like you know I've been feeling like shit a lot lately?"
" I just assumed you were coming down with something."
" So did I. But I also haven't had my period for three months. Normally I wouldn't complain, but..." she trailed off.
" You need to go to the doctor or something, just so we can be sure. I'll go with you if you want."
She didn't reply.
" Why didn't you tell me sooner?," he asked gently.
Erin hung her head. " Iyusefredoohdeevme," she mumbled.
" What?" He lifted her chin and looked into her wet eyes. " What did you say?"
" I said I was afraid you'd leave me."
He put his arms around her and held her tightly, yet gently. " Do I look like I'm about to let you go so easily?," he asked her.
Erin remembered how relieved she was when he did that. There was no sex that night. They spent the rest of the night talking and managed to come up with a crude solution.
The next day they went to Planned Parenthood. She was, indeed, pregnant. By that time she was along by fourteen weeks. They then got their parents together. Not to tell them that she was pregnant. To ask them if they could get their own place.
Derek had just turned seventeen and legally, he could have his own apartment if he had written permission from his legal gaurdians. If both sets of parents agreed, Erin could be allowed to live with him. Derek had a friend who owned an apartment complex, resonably priced and he knew that his friend would be willing to let them live in one of the buildings.
At first their parents objected to the idea, but they all managed to come up with a solution that worked for all of them. Their parents decided to let them see about getting a lease for an apartment (which Derek had already talked to his friend about before talking to their parents) and they - their parents- would pay rent and medical bills, but little more. They would have to take care of the rest themselves. Two weeks later, Erin and Derek moved out.
Derek had been working for two years and had been saving his money. He would have to start working full time and start using his savings. But he thought it was worth it, if it was for Erin and for his baby. Erin was only thirteeen, so there wasn't much she could do about a job. She was too tired anyway. As much as she hated to do it, she went out and managed to get them on wellfare. A friend later helped them get Wic, a service that helped them with getting food. She visited the docter at Planned Parenthood reguarly to keep herself and her baby healthy. Planned Parenthood donated clothes, toys, a crib, and formula. The formula was uneccesary though. Erin had already decided to breast feed the baby.
Their parents had no idea she was pregnant. They didn't visit their parents much, though they did call. But they had a feeling that if they told Erin's parents she was pregnant that her mom would find some way to get the baby taken away when it was born, maybe even manage to keep it for herself. So they didn't know that they were going to be grandparents. They probably never would.
Although Erin and Derek were pretty much prepared to be parents, Erin was terrified. She didn't know what she would have done if Derek hadn't been there for her. Here she was, thirteen and she was going to be a mother. But considering her age, the pregnancy was going well and it progressed normally. Just a few months before Erin was to turn fourteen, she gave birth. A baby boy that they named Caleb. He was premature, but healthy and strong. To her and Derek, he was the most beautiful thing they had ever seen . The proud couple vowed to do everything they could to be good parents.
But they had no idea how hard a newborn baby would be to take care of. Erin was up half the night feeding him, changing him and soothing him. Derek would take him for her when he could, but he had to sleep if he was to go to work all day and she was the only one who could feed since she was breast feeding. It wasn't easy, but they refused to give up.
By the time Erin was sixteen, Caleb was two. She found herself a job and Caleb went to day care. Derek was able to cut back on how much he worked, though not much. They were still on wellfare, but their parents had cut back on the checks they sent them. But with both of them working, they were able to support themselves and their son. They were even still able to go to the movies or to a party often, letting a friend watch Caleb. It was hard, but they were making ends meet. Until Erin lost her job.
Even with Dereks job, wellfare, and occasional checks from their parents, money was too tight without Erin working. They had bills to pay, insurance, food to buy, they had recently bought a car that they were still paying off, and the insurance for it as well. Calebs clothes, day care and doctor bills were demanding. They needed to come up with another solution.
Derek and Erin decided that he would go back to working full time and Erin would go back to live with her parents again. Derek didn't have enough money to feed them all and Erin would be able to eat if she was with her parents. She would be back as soon as she was working again.
She convinced her parents to let her come back long enough to help them all get back on their feet. Just until she was working again. They agreed. She left after celebrating Calebs fourth birthday. Erin felt tears in her eyes as she recalled the day she left.
" Mama has to go away for awhile, but I'll be back soon," Erin told him.
" When will I see you again?," he asked, confused.
" Soon. I'll visit you every day that I can," she promised.
" Is Daddy going too, Mama?," he asked.
" No Honey, you and Daddy are staying here. Don't worry, I won't be gone long." She gave Caleb and Derek, now her fiancee, a hug and kiss each and left. She spent the rest of the day putting in applications. She and her parents fought constantly, almost from the beginning. She would spend hours out looking for a job only to come home to have her parents badger her, scream at her even. What was she doing back so soon? Shouldn't she be out looking for a job? How was she supposed to find another job if she was going to sit on her lazy ass all day and do nothing? and so on. She had no clue that someone would actually call DSS. But they did.
She had been keeping her promise to Caleb and visited everyday. She had just come back from visiting when she came back to her parents house to find that the police were there. They took her to a childrens home and a week later informed her that she would be going to a foster home. She was livid when she was told that.
She could have found a new job by now and be home, instead of going on those dumb " field trips" the childrens home often took to the mall and such places. It was during one of those trips that she had run into those Hanson guys. She had been shocked when she saw who the foster family was, but she hid it well. She wasn't sure why she was so bitter towards them, but she had been bitter to everyone since she had been taken from her parents house.
She recalled how she had practically thrown a tantrum when they told her about going to a foster home. The only thing that gave her comfort was that once she turned eighteen, they legally couldn't keep her with whatever family she would be living with. And she would be eighteen in about two months.
" And now here I am," Erin concluded her musings bitterly.
Derek had told her on the phone the other night that a friend of theirs was going to have another party and he would look for her there. It had been four weeks since they had seen each other last. Erin decided that she would take the risk of getting caught sneaking out. She was going to that party. She was going to see Derek and Caleb.
For some reason, Erin thought about that girl that Isaac seemed to be dating. What was her name? Terry? She didn't seem like the kind of girl who went to too many wild parties.
" What the heck," Erin told herself," I'll go ahead and ask her if she wants to come."
She doesn't look like she gets out too much anyway.
