"Abusers" are not animals (at first) they can be very handsome/pretty, very charming, romantic, sweet & kind. But educate yourself on the "red flags" that will give you insight to whether or not someone has abusive behavior.
Verbal abuse is just as damaging and just as painful as physical abuse. I believe this with all of my heart because in my experience, it only began with the verbal abuse. When finally able to talk about my "relationship" I would try to explain, that I felt sometimes that the verbal abuse was much worse than if he were to just hit me, and "get it over with" so to speak. The words would cut deap into my heart, and take much longer to heal than a broken bone or a bruise. You start to have a very low self-esteem and poor self-concept, a feeling of worthlessness. The fear that was placed by intimidation and the unknown of what might happen next was mentally exhausting. And the anxiety began to take an effect on me physically. I lost huge patches of my hair about the size of a half dollar. I went to the doctor and at 25 years old was told that I "HAD to get the stress out of my life or it was going to take an even bigger toll on me physically, not to mention mentally". "Scars" of an abusive relationship can stay with you for quite some time. I try to explain this by saying that it is almost like a veteran of war having "flash-backs". Things that you don't even realize are there, somehow come back to haunt you. However let me give you some reassurance...You really do get over it and you will heal. Time REALLY does help to heal and take away the pain.
I am proof of that!
Do you experience any of these symptoms of abuse in your currant relationship?
Does your spouse put you down? Making you feel bad about yourself
Call you names?
Try to make you feel that you are crazy?
Play mind games?
Humiliate you?
Make you feel guilty using male privilege?
Treat you like a servant?
Make all of the big decisions "acting as the Master of the castle">
Make you ask for money and not let you know about or have access to family income?
Threaten to leave you or to commit suicide, report you to welfare?
Use intimidation, making you feel afraid by using looks, gestures, or actions like smashing things or abusing pets, threaten to take your children away?
Unfortunatly this list could go on and on....
But if any of this sounds like your life, then you really need to get help. You are important and you deserve to be happy! I have said this many a time throughout my pages and I can't stress it enough!
