mental breakdown #2

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As I sit with this cigarette from my lips That I don't know how to smoke And writing the beat that I'm suppose to write Really, what kid runs ugly into my imperfect, stream of consciousness path Run taut and teeth-braced And what cyborg, cybering psycho moons me his affections today Asked a chameleon face-full of a manic depressive tears A basket of mixed fruits unsorted Undefined Unreadable Unsolvable Hollow and drunken is what I think I feel And what I feel I make Oh, how unnatural I've grown to be! Mutable and mutable in state of my proverbial existence and use I am the sum of all I've met (unfortunately quoting the quote from a loathed teacher quoting a hated book) I'm a mad genius stuck in a pre-pubescent body of inhibited outlet Going over a speed bump the size of my festering tumor... He picks at a salted slug slouching side ways over a concrete pavement, Probing while prosing some pompous pulp fiction of his life's depiction "Yesterday, I lived him, and he became me Tomorrow we'll meet on day 0 And today we'll see the meeting on 100." Full circle... full circle! I walked through the deserted halls full of people alone; There I found something in the empty rooms - I am immoral, but I am just I am callous, but I love too much too seldom Yes, and I urge the mental lagging The congested passages forces itself into the over stuffed gallbladder of filth and sins Un-confessed Un-repented Most of what I say is bacon ingredients Something undefined I'm working over time on self-indulgence... Nihilistic claims... Wearing a crucifix between my sweaty cleavage! I've been diluted and then re-energized to a ghostly hue Of self-destructive euphemism. One day, I'll quote myself or something... Ah, the insane muse released its grasp a little from my jugular From my frontal lobe I stopped ramming my head into the wall some time ago When the dimension treading started Wavering through waves of vertigo and vortex Of incoherent thought patterns I think I search someone that understands less than I do; Only then will someone understand me. My age has played so well into its jaded role in my twisted head I wonder if it will relinquish while time passes Why don't you average fucks not comprehend my visionary distortion? Insanity is such a source of wit... Asylums are so full of geniuses I will live there to complete my thesis on existentialism Such chemical imbalance is hard to come by You should all love me or hate me I will become somewhat homicidal if indifference is applied My life would be so much easier if I had super powers Or a lobotomy Down the school halls I stare off into a distant horizon that has no sun And my mind games are whisked off into images of massacre and flames I would be a horrible pyrro if I weren't such a damn coward But I forgot which side I play before the game commenced So I guess I have myself to battle first of all I wish I could really fall in love with someone I'm so tired of loving myself this much I really don't deserve that much attention from my own analytical counterpart Or perhaps, I'm the only one strong enough To uphold its body in the acidic intensity of my affection Who else can stand the lull of consistent instability The revolving tantrum Thinking on paper, Then falling off my pen.

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