"Coming out"
for gays
and lesbians
is not an
event,
it's a process.

I was impatient with people.
Accept me now or see you later.
I realise now that if it took me
years to understand I was gay
maybe I should give others
time to adapt.
Not everyone will be
instantly overjoyed
with the news and that's OK.

Lack of recognition
of a lesbian identity
within society has made it
very difficult
for me to be out
unless surrounded by people
I can thoroughly trust.
The fear of violence
silences me
as well as the fear
of ostracisation,
therefore I feel
very invisible.
lesbian, 21 years

When someone with the authority
of a teacher, say,
describes the world
and you are not in it,
there is a moment of
psychic disequilibrium,
as if you looked into a mirror
and saw nothing.
Adrienne Rich - Author,
"Invisibility in Academe"

It's ok, I'm gonna be fine.
Lets just give my momma
and daddy a little time.
Cuz Ive been good up till now.
They look at me and think
I've changed somehow.
But I'm not being radical
when I kiss you
and I dont love you
to make a point...
Catie Curtis - Singer, lyricist.

Acting Gay?
How can one act gay?
We are gay.
Cable King - Entertainer.

I don't know how anything
good could come from
choosing to hide
the part of your life that
makes you a passionate human being.

The only abnormality
is the incapacity to love.
Anais Nin - Author.

I never wanted to be the
'lesbian actress'.
I never wanted to be the
spokesperson for the gay community.
Ever.
I did it for my own truth.
Ellen DeGeneres - Comic, Actress.

As long as society is anti-gay,
then it will seem like being gay
is anti-social.
Joseph Francis.

To feel guilt is to feel wrong, inferior,
and we try to keep secret
our guilts and inferiorities,
whether we have defined them ourselves,
or received them as definiations
from the society we inhabit.
William Dickey - Poet.

Probably Bill Clinton
will not be reelected
and will be replaced by a
Reagan/Bush type of guy.
Probably the Christian right
will continue their
already too successful
campaign against us,
while the rest of America
stands passively by.
Probably the AIDS crisis
will not end...
Probably, the nature
of homophobia will never
be widely interrogated,
while we will continue to be
excluded from school curricula,
subjected to vicious
media distortions,
or entirely ignored,
denied basic civil rights
while our demands are
ridiculed and derided.
But in the midst of all this
only one thing
has changed for certain.
We have changed.
We will never
go back in the closet.
Sarah Schulman
- Writer and activist,
My American History.

Closeting is not
morally neutral but reinforces
the view that being gay
is a disgusting secret
Michelangelo Signovski - Writer.

Greatness meant strength.
Strength meant masculinity.
Masculinity meant heterosexuality.
Heterosexuality meant facade.
Maintain the facade for the world to see.
Cheat in the dark abysss of the soul.
Arthur Bell - Journalist,
Kings don't mean a thing:
The John Knight Murder case.

I'm sort of a gay success story,
a very inspirational one.
What happened to me
is exactly the opposite
of what closeted people fear:
They think they'll lose
everything if they come out.
This did not happen to me at all.
In fact, everything came back tenfold.
Melissa Etheridge - Lesbian Musician.

When you get to the edge of all you know,
you must believe one of two things:
there will be ground to stand on,
or you will be given wings to fly.

Homosexuality is assuredly no advantage,
but it is nothing to be ashamed of.
Sigmund Freud - Pyschoanalyst,
Letter to an American mother.

It's not closeted gays you have to change;
it's society - society made closets necessary.
Kevin LydaIt.

I'm in a business that, you know,
I`m the commodity. I'm the product.
Please buy me, you know?
And that's what I kept
telling Disney and ABC
when everybody was
weighing all the -- I said,
you know what?
You know, maybe they'll boycott you
for a week or whatever
and maybe they`ll --
but you can go on
and do another show.
You can go on,
and life goes on for you.
This is my life.
I am taking the
biggest risk here.
And I'm willing to
take the risk because
that`s how much it means to me.
Ellen - Comic, Actress.

Now I feel completely
comfortable with myself
and I don't have to be fearful
about something damaging
my career if it gets out,
because now I'm in control of it
-- sort of.
No one can hurt me now.
Ellen - Comic, Actress.

One thing I think is really
important to say is that,
I just saw this show on 20/20
and it talked about
gay teenagers and how alone they feel,
but then it said they have
a high suicide rate,
and I already know
the media always portrays gays
as like suicidal and really unhappy,
but I did think of the gay teenagers,
and I'll tell you,
these letters I get
for having a gay character
on my show from some gay teenagers
here and there where there aren't
a lot of gay people.
It's a good thing for them
to know that it's normal -
I just want to say that.
You know what I want to say.
I find all that homophobic stuff heinous...
horrible, horrible.
Rosanne - Comic, Actress.

Respecting each other's sexuality
is about the coolest thing I can think of,
except for maybe legalising hemp
and not wearing fur
Courtney Love - Musician.

I've never not been outspoken
about my sexuality.
Everyone knew I was gay - I mean,
I was on David Letterman
with DYKE on my shirt!
Linda Perry - Musician.

If You DON'T FEEL READY Yet
To move With An Opportunity
That Presents Itself In The Moment
LET IT PASS!
There Will ALWAYS Be
Another One...
And, Another One and
Another One -
Until You Are TRULY Ready To Take It!
TRUST IN THAT,
DESPITE ALL YOU'VE WRONGLY BEEN LED TO BELIEVE!
Robyn Posin
(for the little ones inside) - posted on the net.

Everyone knows that I'm a lesbian.
If you're out they can't get you as easily,
whereas if you live in fear of being 'exposed',
someone will always have something over you.
Patricia Fernandez - posted on the net.

Come Out, Come Out Whoever You Are!
Glinda - The Good Witch Of The East

The world changes in direct proportion
to the number of people
willing to be honest about their lives.
Armistead Maupin - Writer.

I wanted to be out so I could relax and be me
Melissa Etheridge - Musician.

You know what I'm saying?
I don't mind, if you're a friend of mine
I don't mind you coming out of the closet,
but ease that motherf%#ker, man. Ease.
Just tip out the motherf%#ker.
Look before you crash open the door,
man, take your time.
Martin Lawrence - Comic,
'You so Crazy'

The closet is an awful place to die
sign @ '79 gay pride march.

Dear Mama,
I have something to tell you
that I guess I should not
put off any longer...
you see, I am a homosexual.
I have fought it off
for months and maybe years,
but it just grows truer.
Laura Z Hobson - Writer,
Consenting adult.

Silence kills the soul;
It diminishes it's possiblities
to rise and fly and explore.
Silence withers what makes you human.
The soul shrinks, until it's nothing.
Marlon Riggs - Filmaker.

You cannot demand your rights,
civil or otherwise,
if you are unwilling
to say what you are.
Merle Miller - Writer.

It wasn't easy telling my parents I'm gay.
I told them at Thanksgiving.I said,
"Mom, would you please pass the gravy
to the homosexual?"
She passed it to my father.
A terrible scene followed.
Bob Smith, Comic.

I remember how being young
and Black and gay and lonely felt.
A lot of it was fine,
feeling I had the truth
and the light and the key,
but a lot of it was purely hell
Audre Lorde - Writer.

Just by being out
you're doing your part.
It's like recycling.
You're doing your part
for the environment
if you recycle;
you're doing your part
for the gay movement
if you're out.
Martina Navratilova - Tennis Champion

This sweet little blond girl
(from The Sonny & Cher Show)
turned out to be a big dyke.
There's something wonderful about that,
because that's life.
Chastity Bono - GLAAD Media Director

I just wish more of my fellow queers
would come out sometimes.
It's nice out here, you know?
Elton John - Singer/Songwriter

The day came when the risk to remain tight
in the bud was more painful
than the risk it took to blossom
Anais Nin - Author.

Love is not love if it forces you
to compromise who you are
Phyllis Chesler - Author,
Letters to a Young Feminist

I'm always thinking of going back.
When Lot's wife looked over her shoulder,
she turned into a pillar of salt.
Pillars hold things up and
salt keeps things clean,
but it's a poor exchange
for losing yourself.
People do go back,
but they don't survive...

Going back after a long
time will make you mad,
because the people you left behind
do not like to think of you changed,
will treat you as they always did,
accuse you of being indifferent,
when you are only different.
Jeanette Winterson - Author.

Silence equals death
and so, I am dying
dying to live.
But not to live by my standards,
but by others'.
Silent I shall live .... and die.
Silent so none are disappointed
Once, living for others was good enough..
Once, those statements were true..
I was to be the martyr
but now...
now I feel the loss.
I am losing myself.
I may not die physically from silence,
but I am almost gone.
How can I be my true self,
How can I live ...
when I am afraid of
disappointing those who love me?
Should I even bother to try?
Or should I just die?
slntwulf

How can they be my friends
if they don't know
who I am?

If I hide
it's my problem
because
I'm the only one
there
to deal with it

If I'm out
and they don't like it
its their problem
trish