-If using a touch tone phone, press random numbers while ordering. Then the person to stop doing that.
-Tell the person taking your order that a rival pizza joint is on line 2, and you're going with the lowest bidder.
-Don't just name the toppings of your choice. S-P-E-L-L them out. Slowly.
-Say, "Hello." Then act stunned for 5 seconds. Act as though the pizza guy called you.
-Tell them to double check that your pizza to make sure that everything is, in fact, dead.
-When you call, tell the pizza guy you need to see a menu.
-Order 2 toppings then say, "Oh no!!! They will start fighting! I better just stick with one."
-When the person repeats your order say, "One more time with a little more OOMPH!!!"
-Start the conversation by reciting the date and saying, "This may be my last entry..."
-Finish the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation..."
-Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song.
-Change your accent every 3 seconds.
-Put a little edge in your voice when you say, "Crazy bread"
-Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
-Start your order with, "I'd like" A little later, slap yourself and say, "Actually, I don't."
-Put the accent on the last syllable of"pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
-Move the mouth piece farther and farther from your mouth as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouth piece back into place and scream "GOODBYE" at the top of your lungs.
-Do not use verbs in your speech.
-Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
-If they suggest anything say, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words!"
-Start the conversation with, "My call to the pizza place, Take 1, and action!"
-Learn to play the harmonica. Stop at regular intervals to play.
-Put them on hold.
- stare at the survelence camera for an hour, slowly rocking back and forth
- in the hardware department ask how well a particular saw cut through bone
- at the pet store ask if gerbils come in bulk, and if they have much white meat on them
- test out matresses with a grubby pair of wonderwoman pajamas
- roast plastic hot-dogs in front of the fireplace display
- hand a stack of pants back to the change room addendant saying scornfully that none of the pants were leak proof
