American "Family"


(Camera fades in on Andrew and William sitting at the table.)
Mother:  (O.S.)  Andrew!  William!  Have you done your chores yet?!

Andrew and William:  No Ma! 

Mother:  (O.S.)  What?!  You better get to it, pronto!  Have you seen 
	Bruce anywhere?!

(Enters Bruce with gun in hand.)
Mother:  (O.S.)  Bruce, is that you?!

Bruce:  Ya Ma!

Mother:  (O.S.)  Did you do your chores yet?!

Bruce:  Just finished Ma!

Mother:  (O.S.)  Thatıs a good boy, were you followed?!

Bruce:  No Ma!  In and out in 23.2 seconds!

Mother:  (O.S.)  I know someone whoıs going to get a little something 
	extra for dinner tonight!  Andrew, William you can learn from your 
	brother!

Andrew:  Thatıs OK, I already know hot to pick my nose!

William:  Heh Heh Heh Heh.

Bruce:  (Pulling out a gun.)  Hey, thatıs not funny!

Andrew:  (Pulling out a gun of his own.)  Yes it is!  Yes it is!  You 
	wanna fight about it?!  Come on letıs go!

Father:  (Coming from upstairs.)  Stop that fighting or Iıll kill you 
	all.

(Andrew and Bruce pull guns on their father.)
Father:  Hey.  Andrew, Bruce have you not been reading the good book 
	lately?  (Walks over to Andrew.)  Andrew what does the seventh 
	commandment say?

Andrew:  (Mumbles his answer.)

Father:  (Putting hand up to ear.)  Huh?

Andrew:  Honor thy father and thy mother.

Father:  Thatıs right it says, (Starts hitting Andrew with bible.) honor 
	thy mother and thy father!  You get that?!  (Hits Bruce.)

Andrew and Bruce:  Yes father.

Father:  Youıre good boys.  (Goes upstairs.)

William:  Heh heh heh heh.

Andrew and Bruce:  Shut up!  Shut up!  (Pull out guns.)

Father:  (Leaps downstairs with big gun.)  What did I tell you?!

Mother:  (O.S.)  You kill just one of my boys and youıll never see you 
	precious...gun 	again!

Father:  (Whimpering.)  Yes dear.

Mother:  (O.S.)  Thatıs better, now come up here and rub my feet!

Father:  Yes dear.  (Goes upstairs.)

Mother:  (O.S.)  And you kids, have you set the time on that bomb yet?!

Andrew, William, and Bruce:  No, ma!

Mother:  (O.S.)  Well, get on it!

Andrew, William, and Bruce:  Okay, Ma!
(Fade out on door after kids leave.)



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