EIEIO: The Skit

  EIEIO running and shooting behind him.  Various shots of him running 
  through woods,
  fields, and streets.  Finally bursts in the door.
  EIEIO:  Jeez, try to get some doughnuts.  (holds up doughnuts.  begins 
  to eat) 
          Mmmmmm.......
  Jab:  Can I have a doughnut?
  EIEIO:  NO!  Mine. (keeps eating savagely)
  (phone rings)
  EIEIO:(mouthful of doughnut)  Huwo?
  Chief:  Hello, EIEIO, I have some bad news for you.
  EIEIO:  Wew, wha if it?
  Chief:  Your arch-nemesis, Cadiz, is on the loose again, and it seems 
  that this time,
          he's hassling little kids.
  (camera zooms in on EI's face as he spits out his doughnut)
  EIEIO:  Quick Jab!  Come with me!  (grabs Jab, who is trying to pick the 
  doughnut up off
  the floor, and runs out the door)
  EIEIO and Jab run around town and finally stumble on Cadiz, who is, in 
  fact, pestering a
  little kid.  Hurze is with him.
  Cadiz:  Hey kid. (pushes kid)  Hey kid, hey kid. (pushes kid again)
  Hurze: (laughs)
  Kid:  Stop it.  Stop it.  Stop it.
  EIEIO:  Stop, villain! (holds up hand mightily)
  Cadiz: (evilly) No.  Hey kid. (pushes kid again)
  Kid:  Stop it.
  EIEIO:  (throws kid aside)  Just try to push me, you fiend!
  Cadiz:  Okay (pushes EI)
  EIEIO:  Stop it.  I mean, why you...
  (The two engage in battle.  Random shots of Jab & Hurze sharing popcorn.
  Finally, the two break, and EIEIO pulls out his gun, and aims it at 
  Cadiz's heart)
  EIEIO:  I won't have any more of this.  Will you some quietly?
  Cadiz: No.
  EIEIO:  (looks around worriedly)  Please?
  Cadiz: (smiling) No.
  EIEIO:  (whining) Come on.
  Cadiz: No. (still smiling)
  EIEIO:  (throws a small tantrum)  Fine.  Make your daring escape then. 
  (pouts)
  Cadiz:  Ha haaa!  (wraps Hurze up in his coat and runs off)
  Jab:  Why didn't you just kill him?
  EIEIO: (still pouting) 'Cause he's my arch-nemesis.  (in snotty little 
  kid voice) And you
  can't kill your arch-nemesis.  (returns to pouting)
  Jab:  Hey, EI.
  (EI looks up)
  Jab:  I've got some of that doughnut.
  EIEIO:  (now smiling)  Aw, thanks, Jab.  That's why you're my sidekick.
  (the two walk off arm in arm as the camera fades)
  G'night!


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