NEWS CHANNEL Q -------------- PHIL: Hello, Iım Phil Mayfair and Welcome to Newschannel Q. Our first story tonight is about the mysterious death of a farmer named Bob, he was apparently shot 4 times. The leading suspect is his pet cow Bessie. WILL: Sounds like that cow was really mad. BILL: Iım sure he was. PHIL: Damn those farm animals, will they ever learn? Apparently not. Anyway out next story is about... monkeys. Monkeys have escaped from the local zoo this afternoon. They were last seen heading was west on I-95, if you happen to see one stay away they may be armed. Now for our weather, Will? WILL: Thanks Phil. (Pulls out a globe and brings it to Maine) By tonight we should expect some snow over the eastern coast. (Pours salt over the globe.) Tempartures will drop below freezing and things will starts to get chilly, so bundle up. Now to Bill for sports. BILL: Super Bowl 30 happened this Sunday. I donıt know who won, nor do I care. I hate sports and couldnıt care less. Back to you Phil. PHIL: Thanks Bill. I donıt know who won the Super Bowl but maybe Will does. Will? WILL: The Bulls won Phil. PHIL: Thatıs right, of course. The New York Bulls won the Super Bowl. BILL: Sounds good to me. PHIL: We are now going to our man on the street, Hank Herman. Are you there Hank? HANK: Iım here Phil, and I have very important news. This is going badly so shut the camera off. Did you here me?! I said, "Shut the camera off!" (Walks angrily over to the camera, slight stuggle, and shuts if off.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- İ Copyright Generation Q, February 21, 1996. All rights reserved for someone better.