Old Yeller - "You spineless good-for-nothing drag-arse no-talent son of a bitch! Can't you see you're making me miserable??" Also known as: She-Devil, Sourpuss, the Nag, My Old Lady, Warthog from Hell
Advantages: Pays attention to you
Disadvantages:  Screeches, throws frying pans

Sickly - "Oh, my head. My head. My feet. My cramps. My cellulite." Also known as: Whiner, Mewler, Grumpy
Advantages:  Predictable
Disadvantages: Contagious

The Bosser - "Stand up straight. Put on a different tie. Get a haircut. Change your job. Make some money. Don't give me that look." Also known as: Whipcracker, The Sarge, Ms. Know-it-all, Ball and Chain, Yes Mom
Advantages: Often right
Disadvantages: Often right, but so what?

Ms. Vaguely Dissatisfied - "I just can't decide. Should I switch my career, goals, home, and hair color?" Also known as: The Fretter, Worrywart, Typical, Aw C'mon Honey
Advantages: Easily soothed
Disadvantages: Even more easily perturbed
 
Wild Woman out of Control - "I've got an idea.  Lez get drunk an' make love onna front lawn. I done it before. S'fun." Also known as: Fast Girl, Freewheeler, Goodtime Charleena, Passed Out
Advantages:  More fun than a barrel of monkeys
Disadvantages: Unreliable; drives off cliffs

Huffy - "I see nothing humorous in those silly cartoons you keep snickering at." Also known as: No Fun, Humorless Prig, Cold fish, Chilly Proposition, Iceberg, Snarly
Advantages: Your friends will feel sorry for you
Disadvantages: You will have no friends

Woman from Mars - "I believe this interpretive dance will explain how I feel about our relationship." Also known as: The Babbler, Spooky Girl, Screwball, Loony, Bad News, Artistic
Advantages: Entertaining, unfathomable
Disadvantages: Will read her poetry aloud

Ms. Dreamgirl - "I am utterly content with you  just the way you are, my handsome genius of a boyfriend. I think we must make love like  crazed weasels now!" Also known as: Ms. Right, Goddess, Knockout, Perfection, Gorgeous
Advantages: Funny, intelligent, uninhibited
Disadvantages: Will have nothing to do with you.