WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a jerk. 

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN. 

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. 

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you REALLY think while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas party. 

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. 

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what ever happened to your pants anyway. 

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose name you can't remember). 

WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.