EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.    The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.  A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS 
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS
Women love cats.  Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.  A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.   A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

DRESSING
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail.  A man will dress up for weddings, funerals.

LOOKS
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams.   A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.