1. Call..... often

2. Don't lie.

3. Never tape any of her body parts together.

4. If guys' night out is going to be fun, invite us *smiling*.

5. If guys' night out is going to involve strippers, remember the zoo rules: "No Petting".

6. The correct answer to, "Do I look fat?", is never, ever, "Yes."

7. Ditto for "Is she prettier than me?"

8. Victoria's Secret is good.  Frederick's of Hollywood is bad.

9. Ordering for her is good.  Telling her what she wants is bad.

10. Being attentive is good. Stalking is bad.

11. "Honey", "Darling", and "Sweetheart" are good.  "Nag", "Lardass", and "Bitch" are bad.

12. Talking is good. Shouting is bad. Slapping is a felony.

13. A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question.

14. None of your ex-girlfriends were ever nicer, prettier, or better in bed.

15. Her cooking is excellent.

16. But that isn't an excuse for you to avoid cooking.

17. Dish soap is your best friend now. (i really luv this one)

18. Hat does not equal shower, aftershave does not equal soap, and warm does not equal clean.

19. Buying her dinner does not equal foreplay.

20. Answering "Who was that on the phone?" with "Nobody" is never ever gonna end that conversation.

21. Ditto for "Whose lipstick is this?"

22. Two words: clean socks.

23. Believe it or not, you're probably not more attractive when you're drunk.

24. Burping is not sexy.

25. You're wrong..... always (he he he)

26. You're sorry. doesn't matter who's fault it is.

27. She is probably less impressed by your discourse on your cool car than you think she is. (actually i luv cool cars)

28. Ditto for your discourse on football.

29. Ditto for your ability to jump up and hit any awning in a single bound.

30. "Will you marry me?" is good. "Let's shack up together" is bad........... hmmmmm

31. Don't assume PMS is the cause for every bad mood.

32. But don't assume PMS doesn't exist.

33. No means No. Yes means Yes. Silence could mean anything she feels  like at that particular moment in time,
      and it could change without notice. (Luv that one)

34. "But, we kissed..." is not justification for using her toothbrush.

35. Never let her walk anywhere alone after 11 p.m.

36. Chivalry and feminism are NOT mutually exclusive.

37. Pick her up at the airport. Don't whine about it, just do it.

38. If you want to break up with her, break up with her. Don't act like a complete jerk until she does it for you.

39. Don't tell her you love her if you don't.

40. and if you do luv her..........Tell her often.

41. Always suck up to her brother.

42. Think boxers.

43. Silk boxers.

44. Remember Valentine's Day, and any other "anniversary" she so names.

45. Don't try to change the way she dresses.

46. Her haircut is never bad.

47. Don't let your friends pick on her.

48. Call......... often

49. Don't lie, never ever lie these, girls are smarter that we think.

50. The rules are never fair. Accept this without question. The fact that she has to go through labor while you sit in thewaiting room on your fat ass smoking cigars isn't fair either, and it balances everything.