The Story of Oyster Fetish

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Ok, this is the story of Oyster Fetish. This is the answer for all of you people who are wondering "how the hell did this band actually make something of themselves?" Well, I'll tell you one thing. It's been a screwed up road so far, and we got a long way to go. I'll keep updating this section as my band moves on. Well, anyway, here's the story, biyatch.

Yep, yep, yep. Chino, Toshi, and Yiffie had been dreaming of being in a band for a long time. It was in the two hicktowns of Gray, and New Gloucester, Maine (they are twin hicktowns). After pitiful attempts at forming pissant bands that never worked out, Oyster Fetish was finally formed on December 30, 1997. Back then, the band consisted of: Chino Strife: guitar/vocals,Tweez Martinez: bass, Yiffie Culex: drums. So as you can see from that, we had a different bassist back then. On December 29, Chino slept over at Yiffie's house, and they planned on having inviting Tweez to come over the next day, so the three of them could see if they could actually form a band that worked. They actually had hope now, because they finally had at least enough equipment to practice with. Before Tweez came over, Chino took an old song by the Smoking Umbrellas, a band he was in when he was in seventh grade that never worked, and he wrote new lyrics to it. This song was "Bollworm", a song that would soon become Oyster Fetish's biggest hit. So when the three of them practiced Bollworm over and over again, it all seemed to fit together perfectly, for the first time. The band continued to have practices, and around their second or third practice, they got thier name. Oyster Fetish. Chino was the one who thought up the name. He had made a list of four band names that he thought would be cool the prevuous night. The list consisted of: 1.Pillowhead, 2.The Screaming Potatoes, 3.Oyster Fetish, 4. Big Rectum and the wide turds. Chino had put Oyster Fetish and Big Rectum and the Wide Turds on the list as a joke. After he finished the list, he immedietly called up Tweez and read him the list. And at the practice, while the band was trying to decide on a name, Tweez just screamed out "OYSTER FETISH!!!!!" He didn't even remember where the hell he got it from, but even know Chino had thought the name up as a joke, himself and Yiffie both thought it was a cool ass name. Even Toshi, who was at the practice, but not in the band, seemed to like the name, though he thought it was different. That was a good practice for Oyster Fetish. They got lots of work done, even though Bollworm was their only song. That night, after putting lots of shit in the blender, Yiffie and Toshi left. Tweez and Chino made a new song called "Pigs." Pigs would soon become a song that everybody likes. It's really a different kind of song. Yiffie applied a drumline at the next practice. And then, in January, disaster struck Oyster Fetish's homeland. Ice Storm '98. This fucked up disaster prevented Oyster Fetish from practicing for like two weeks, because there was no electricity. It sucked. But this was also when Chino wrote "If I Cant Have You No One Will." This is a song about some dumbass stalking some chick. There is a fucked up story behind this song, but I'm not gonna get into it now. Oyster Fetish practiced this song, and now, they had three songs. Sometime in mid February, they then put on their first show. This was in the G-NG Middle school cafeteria, during lunch time. they managed to fill up a half hour set with only three songs, and it kicked ass. This of course was a free show, and this was when people finally began to recognize Oyster Fetish. Everyone thought they kicked ass. and after the show, there were lots of people bugging them to put on another show as soon as possible. And between this show and the next show, they managed to put together two more songs. Clear Tranquil and Sullivan & Merritt. Clear Tranquil is sort of a hardcore song, Sullivan & Merritt is a speed punk song. Clear Tranquil came easy. It's a really easy song. But Sullivan & Merritt sounded like shit back then. The band couldn't get good timing with eachother in that song no matter what. It was sometime in mid March that Oyster Fetish made another public appearence. The school was having an event which they called A-Thon Day. This was a day in which a bunch of events would be held in different classrooms and stuff. Each event lasted one hour, and people had to sign up for these ahead of time. And there was one event called the Jam A-Thon, and in this event, people would come and watch bands play. Oyster Fetish was one of those bands. In fact, Oyster Fetish headlined the show. They played four different sets for four different groups of people. And if you were lucky enough to see the third or fourth set, you saw Chino Trash some shit during Sullivan & Merritt. He continuosly grinded the guitar against the mic stand, he knocked some shit over, and he made a mess. This was Tweez's last show with Oyster Fetish. After this show, they devised a plan that became known as the Toshiyuki Project. The plan was to teach Tweez to play guitar, and put Toshiyuki Myagi on bass. This way, they could have a backup guitarist, plus they could finally have their good friend, Toshi taggin' along. The project didn't go as planned. In April, they figured Tweez was good enough to play guitar, because he'd been practicing for a while, and sounded pretty good. So the plan then took effect. Toshi was a better bassist than Tweez, and Tweez for some reason had trouble with the guitar. Tweez was kicked out, and Toshi remained as Oyster Fetish's bassist. After Toshi joined the band, they didn't write new songs for a while. But they did play another show in the cafeteria. This show absolutely kicked ass. Toshi had a six foot tall stack of speakers behind him, and Chino had a stack of speakers up to his chest behind him. Believe me, it was rich. It sounded soooooo sweet. They really put on a kick ass show that day. This was the same day as the talent show, which Oyster Fetish entered, but only one Oyster was in that show. They had Chino on guitar/vocals, Tweez on bass, and Craig Harriman on drums, who didn't know what the fuck he was doing. He had never heared Oyster Fetish. They just grabbed him at the last minute, because Yiffie ditched them for that show. They had Tweez because they promised him one last show with Oyster Fetish. They were sceduled to play If I Cant Have You No One Will, but played Pigs instead. This show was a fuckin' disaster. It sucked so hard. But Chino was still happy because the band had played a kick ass show earlier that day. Oh, and just so you know, Tweez, went and formed a new band called Straight Jacket. So after this, all was well with the lives of the three members of Oyster Fetish. But Chino had one problem. There was this girl who kept giving him titty twisters. She wouldn't stop. It was horrible. Her name was Katie Whittier. But a kick ass song came out of it. The song is called "Titty Twister." It's another punk song that kicks ass. Read the lyrics and you'll know about Chino's tramatic expereience. And then came the time when Oyster Fetish changed their name, for like 8 days, then changed it back. Around the end of June, they started not to like the name Oyster Fetish anymore. They didn't like it because it didn't fit in. I mean, think about it. Tool, Korn, Deftones, Rammstein, 311, Life of Agony, Sevendust, Oyster Fetish. The name was just so out there. It didn't fit in at all. They almost changed it to "Dimneed." But they decided to change it to "Pandemonium." Pandemonium means chaos and anarchy and stuff. They got it from a poster on Yiffie's wall that has a hot chick on it. It says "Pandemonium 2" at the top. The poster is actually a poster for the Sony Playstation game, Pandemonium 2. But Chino, Toshi, and Yiffie all liked the name. Then, one day while they were walking in the big ass field near Toshi's house, they decided to change it back to Oyster Fetish. They did that because they decided that it's best not to fit in. Oyster Fetish is different from any other band name. And they liked to be different. Plus, everyone knew them as Oyster Fetish. So they were Oyster Fetish and proud of it. Then came the prefection of Sullivan & Merritt, and the cahnging of the song's name. The one song that always used to sound like shit, Sullivan & Merritt, was finally prefected. After months of never doing a good job on that song, Sullivan & Merritt went from being Oyster Fetish's downer to being one of their best songs. Chino added a third verse, too, which sounds really cool. Soon after the song was perfected, Oyster Fetish was forced to change the name of Sullivan & Merritt. They had trouble thinking up a name, but that's only because the perfect person to think up a cool song name was in New Hampshire with his grandparents. That person being Toshi. But not to fear. Yiffie soon made contact with Toshi, and toshi thought up the name, "Squid Merchant." Pigs has always been the closest Oyster Fetish has ever come to a screw-off song, but then Toshi decided to make a slam on country music. He stayed at Yiffie's house for a few days, and he managed to write some country lyrics. He called it "Livin' in a Heartache." The lyrics are typical country lyrics, complaining about losing your wife and shit like that. Then, Yiffie wrote guitar tabs. All he really does is alternate between three chords. In this song, Toshi sings, and Yiffie plays guitar, and poor Chino does nothing. It's a fuckin' riot if you're the kind of person who's always making fun of country music. Oyster Fetish then decided to get a second guitarist, Nate Burns. But they ended up ditching him because he never made it to practices or anything. So now, Oyster Fetish stays a three-piece band. School started again. Oyster Fetish was now in high school. Being a freshman sucks. But as soon as school started, they started to get gigs. One was to be on October 30, but it got resceduled to November 1, becuase they wanted to do it the night after the Rob Zombie concert instead of before (yes, I know it's amazing, Rob Zombie chose to come to Maine on Halloween of all places, but that has nothing to do with Oyster Fetish, so I'll stop before I go too far). The band was now desperate for new songs, and had only seven, and one of those seven barely passes as a real song. This is when Sifl & Olly came. Chino had just got through a long summer of watching the Sifl & Olly show every night, and Toshi and Yiffie watched quite a bit of it too. one day at a practice, Chino screamed out "1! 2! 1, 2, 3, 4! and the band then spontainiously broke into the Sifl & Olly song. it was quite amazing. Through adding on to the song and specifying it to the way they like it, Oyster Fetish has settled on the way the song is now. One thing that should be pointed out is Sifl & Olly is Oyster Fetish's first cover song. Oyster Fetish ended up playing at a party, wich was at a really run down house in Gray, Maine. The gig basicly sucked. not many people showed up. But it was fun in some ways. We had a loudness competition with the assholes next door. They were blasting a stereo really loud, and after Oyster Fetish played their first song, they turned it up louder, so we cranked the amps louder. And on went a pattrern of the fuckers next door cranking their stereo louder and louder in retaliation to each Oyster Fetish song, and Oyster Fetish cranking the amps louder in retaliation to them cranking the stereo. Then, finally, Yiffie said "fuck it, crank them all the way." And they played Clear Tranquil, their loudest song, with all the amps cranked. The cops did end up coming and telling us to keep it the fuck down. The November 1 gig never happened. I'm not exactly sure what happened, but something made that gig get cancled. But we did play another party in mid-November. And this one was a hell of a lot better than the last. However, we started out in a screwed up situation. Chino was up late Friday night, playing Parasite Eve, and he was in question of the gig tomorrow actually happening. And then Yiffie called him, and he said that Toshi couldn't make it tomorrow. Chino thought they were fucked, but Yiffie then said "let's get Tweez to play bass for us, just for tomorrow." And that is what they did. It turned out good, too. It was way out in the boonies, so there were no cop troubles. Oyster Fetish played like 2 sets, plus they did some hillbilly songs, inluding "Bill Worm," a country rendition of Boll Worm. It was a sweet show. But it was also the last. Oyster Fetish went weeks without practicing, and then they all went their seperate ways. It was a long, strange trip for Oyster Fetish, and this brings it to an end.

...That was as far as Oyster Fetish went... or so we thought. It's been over two years since they broke up, but then on one april night of drinking and listening to boston hardcore, Yiffie and Chino decided that Oyster Fetish needs to have another show in the future. Chino called up Toshi and he was down with the idea, so that spawned the first Oyster Fetish practice in over 2 years. as a matter of fact, I just got home from it, it happened about an hour ago, so if anyone hears rumors about an Oyster Fetish reunion, those rumors are fucking true, though we currently have no plans of making it perminent.

Wake up, dammit!

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Email: oysterfetish@hotmail.com