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    Poems

    The following poems I wrote when I was going through different situations in my life....   Some of these poems I just came across and do not know who wrote them and sometimes it was so long ago that I don't remember which are mine and which are someone elses because it sounds like something I could have written but I'm not sure...   Please feel free to comment on them and if you have any that you would like to have on here...   please let me know...



    Now for all of you who didn't know, I have been pregnant three times (no I don't have any kids due to miscarriages) and engaged once before...   and I broke off the engagement when I lost the fathers kid...   Some of these poems were written either around the time that I miscarried or when I found out that I was pregnant....   Or when I was going through problems with my ex-fiance...   when he was threatening to kill me and everything....   Yes you are probably saying that: gee you are too young to be having kids or to be getting engaged...  but hey things happen right??!!

~*~*~*~

I'll Always Wish These Things For ou

Happiness. Deep down within.
Serenity. With each sunrise.
Success. In each facet of your life.
Family. Beside you.
Close and caring friends.
Health. Inside you.

Special memories. Of all the yesterdays.
A bright today. With much to be thankful for.
A path. That leads to beautiful tomorrow's.

Dreams. That do their best to come true.
Appreciation. Of all wonderful things about you.

Written when I moved away from my house for the first time.
May 1996
~*~*~*~

Even Though...

Even though we are no longer together,
I want you to know that the times we shared
are still very special to me.
In spite of the bad times,
we were and still are very fortunate in many ways,
and it's the good times that I want us to remember.
Today, I find myself wanting so much for you to be happy
and for life to be good to you.
I hope you'll continue to take good care of yourself.

Written when I broke up with a boyfriend, but it also came into affect when a good friend of mine stopped talking to me.
June 1996

~*~*~*~

No More Love

I love you more than words can say,
I miss you more and more each day,
I want to know everything is alright,
I need you to be my guiding light.

I have to know you really care,
I want to know you're really there.
Since now was then and then is gone,
There will be no more, not now till dawn.

And since so much has already been said,
I have no wonders floating through my head.
I know your gone, and that's where you will stay,
Because our love has been carved in grey.

Written when I broke up with a boyfriend of mine that meant a lot to me.

July 1996

~*~*~*~

The Night Has a Thousand Eyes

The night has a thousand eyes,
   And the day but one;
Yet the light of the bright world dies
   With the dying sun.

The mind has a thousand eyes,
   And the heart but one;
Yet the light of a whole life dies
   When love is done.

Written when I lost my first kid.
July 1996

~*~*~*~

You'll Always Be a Special Part of Me

Now that we've been apart for awhile
and had a chance to sort out our thoughts,
I feel I am ready to express myself to you
in a way I was not able to before.
At the time, I knew we both just
needed some time alone,
and although it was hard for me
to watch you turn and leave,
I knew I couldn't run after you.
There are so many things I need you
to know, though.

Please belive me when I say
that your happiness is very important to me.
I hope that I did not hurt you
with any words spoken in frustration
or any actions during our final days together.
You touched my life in a very special way
and left a warm mark in my heart
that no one will ever be able to take away.
I still dream about you,
remembering moments we spent with friends or alone,
sometimes talking and laughing over daily events,
and other times just staying quietly next to each other,
enjoying the peace that seemed to surround us.
I hold these memories close to my heart,
and I hope that when you think of me,
you remember me as I remember you -- with love.

Written when my ex-boyfriend moved away after we broke up.
August 1996

~*~*~*~

Love's Philosophy

The fountains mingle with the river
   And the rivers with the ocean
The winds of heaven mix forever
   With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single;
   All things by a law divine
In one spirit meet and mingle.
   Why not I with thine? --

See the mountains kiss high heaven
   And the waves clasp one another;
No sister-flower would be forgiven
   If it disdained its brother;
And the sunlight clasps the earth
   And the moonbeams kiss the sea:
What is all this sweet work worth
   If thou kiss not me?

Anonymous
November 1996

~*~*~*~

What Is Our Life?

What is our life? A play of passion,
Our mirth the music of division.
Our mothers' wombs the tiring-houses be,
Where we are dressed for this short comedy.
Heaven the judicious sharp spectator is,
That sits and marks still who doth act amiss.
Our graves that hide us from the searching sun
Are like drawn curtains when the play is done.
Thus march we, playing, to our latest rest,
Only we due in earnest, that's no jest.

December 1996

~*~*~*~

Solitude

Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
   Weep, and you weep alone.
For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth,
   But has trouble enough of its own.
Sing, and the hills will answer;
   Sigh, it is lost on the air.
The echoes bound to a joyful sound,
   But shrink from voicing care.

Rejoice, and men will seek you;
   Grieve, and they turn and go.
They want full measure of all your pleasure,
   But they do not need your woe.
Be glad, and your friends are many;
   Be sad, and you lose them all.
There are none to decline your nectared wine,
   But alone you must drink life's gall.

Feast, and your halls are crowded;
   Fast, and the world goes by.
Succeed and give, and it helps you live,
   But no man can help you die.
There is room in the halls of pleasure
   For a long and lordly train,
But one by one we must all file on
Through the narrow ailes of pain.

Anonymous
December 1996

~*~*~*~

Dream or Truth?

I thought I could have had you,
But I guess that is more a dream than it is true.
I thought I could have got you back,
But then with all the truth, heart and soul that I lack,
Of course, would not be appealing to you.
I guess I'll just have to find someone else, too.

How do you see you and me?
I see us together and that is the key.
If only it could've been,
Don't think of it as a sin.

I was wrong in thinking that I could have had you,
And I see now that it was a dream that would never come true.
I never had you to start out with, so I couldn't get you back,
But even if I did, the truth, heart and soul I lack,
Would never be appealing to you.
So now I must find someone new.

Written when a friend of mine wanted someone to notice her and she knew that he would never do that.
April 1997

~*~*~*~

I wonder....

I think about you so much
I wonder if you are having fun
I wonder if you are happy
I wonder if you are feeling well
though we do not see each other very often
you are with me
in my thoughts.

July 1997

~*~*~*~

The People We Love The Most Are
Forever in Our Hearts

Some people touch our lives
and become a part of us forever.
Even when they are no longer with us,
we still think of them as being close.
We feel their warmth, and remember
special things they said and did,
and times we shared.

And sometimes, we hurt because
they aren't with us; we miss them
so intensely and think of things
we wish we'd said.
But we can find strength
in the impact they made
on our lives; we are so much richer
for our association with them.
We can smile, and celebrate
the realization that love
is unlimited by distance or time,
and that our hearts will forever hold
the people who fill our thoughts.

Written when a couple of my E-mail friends grandmothers died.   This is dedicated to DJ and RIC for their grandmothers.   I wish you two all the best and I know that you are always thinking of them.   I Love You Guys, and I am always here for you.

July and August 1997

~*~*~*~

Without You

When I was
Without You
My life was a wreck
Without You
I do not know what I would do nor
   where I would be today
I begin to think what my life
   would be like now
Without You
But all I see is
   grief, sorrow and pain
   possessing my life
I think about what
   we are to one another
Also, how I managed
   to live my life previously
Without You
I try and think about
   what it will be like when
   we see each other
Only happy thoughts come to mind
And ALL my dreams come true
Then I think about what I
   would do if something were to
   happen to you, then once again I would be
Without You
I just want you to hold me
   close and love me
You are my strength and
   what I live for
I look forward to seeing you
   and hoping that YOUR dreams,
   as well as MINE, come true
Without You
I do not know where
   I would be today
All my pain and sorrow disappears
   when I think of you
All I have ever wanted is a person
   like you to care for me
And now I have found that person,
   YOU, yes you, and all I want now
   is to be alone with you
I do not know what I would do
Without You

Written when I started going out with one of my ex-boyfriends, that I loved, but I have moved on since then to someone that cares for me and is there for me.
August 1997

~*~*~*~

Life

I was happy once, but now I am not, What am I to do?
Am I to live, or am I to die?
Am I to have fun, or am I destined to be shund?
Am I to live or to commit suicide?
Thoughts running through my head,
Wondering what I should do.

BANG... a gun goes off.. funny I am still here, I still feel my life.
I see a body lieing before me,
I look at the body..... closely.... funny, it looks little like me,
but how can it be me when I am standing right here?
I see everyone running to the body and calling out my name,
Why are they calling out my name?
Please god tell me why they are calling out my name?!
I yell at them and say "I am right here", no one is listening to me
No one hears me....

Written when I was feeling very down as you can tell from the type of poem.   Actually I wrote this when I was chatting with someone and I just started posting this, they didn't know what to do nor what to say, but I am glad that the person stayed there and continued talking to me.
October 1997

~*~*~*~

Alone

To be with you
Alone
To see only your face
To smell naught but your fragrance
Banishing all other thoughts
   real and unreal from my head
Everything else is chaotic
My life is a whirlwind
   out of control
But peanse consumes my soul
   when I look into your eyes
Eyes so gentle, yet so powerful
I grow dizzy when I look at you
See you look at me
One can't imagine
   a more fulfilling dream come true
But alone
I want to be alone with you
To have you sit close
To hold my arms around you
Feelling your warmth
Your smooth, soft felsh against mine
How happy I could be
To know if even for a moment
That you, yes you
   wanted to be with me
Alone with me
Our lives turn corners
  and cross one another's
But for mere seconds
What heaven it would be
If I could just reach out
Grad hold of you
So you can see the passion in my eyes
So you can see
That all I've ever wanted
Is to be alone
Alone with you

Written about the one person that was in my life and meant A LOT to me!   Words can not express how much I felt for him and his family!   If anything were to happen to him, I don't know what I would do!
December 1997

~*~*~*~

Jan
© 1997 - 2001

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